Hambo’s Science Workshops for Kids

This has been a day with no news whatsoever, so we’ll mention something that appeared yesterday at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

It’s titled Explore Days: Science from a Foundation of Faith. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

The vast majority of museums, schools, and other institutions teach science from a naturalistic (really atheistic) perspective. [Gasp!] This, of course, includes evolutionary and millions of years teaching.

It’s a tragedy. But help is on the way! Hambo says:

Well, we’re excited to be offering hands-on, full-day science workshops at the Creation Museum that teach science from a foundation of faith in God’s Word and the truth of creation as recorded in Genesis.

Hambo has written about his creationist indoctrination camps before — see, e.g.: 5 Days of Hambo’s Creation Science. He tells us:

These workshops are called Explore Days and will build up, rather than tear down, your children’s faith, while they learn about what God has made — and how to defend the Christian faith. They’ve been extremely popular, usually selling out well in advance. Young people in grades 4–12 will love doing real science [Hee hee!] and growing in their knowledge of both God’s Word and his world.

What an opportunity! He continues:

Just some of the fascinating topics covered during these full-day workshops at our Northern Kentucky museum are:

• Zoology
• Geology
• Robotics
• Human anatomy
• Forensics
• Dinosaurs
• And much more!

At Hambo’s website, each of those topics is a link. We took a look at Zoology. It begins with a bible quote, and then says:

Phew! What’s that smell? It’s the animals in the zoo. Have you ever wondered how to care for zoo animals or how God fit all the animals on Noah’s ark?

That question goes unanswered — except, perhaps, at the actual teaching event. We also looked at Dinosaurs. That too starts with a bible quote, and then:

On what day did God create dinosaurs? Did dinosaurs evolve into birds? Were dragons real? Were dinosaurs on Noah’s Ark? If you want answers to these questions, then Explore Dinosaurs is for you!

Thrilling, huh? Here’s our last excerpt:

Each workshop is taught by an expert in the field [Hee hee!] and includes hands-on workshops, along with biblical worldview teaching. These workshops have been so popular we’ve changed from holding just one a month to two or three each month. But they are still expected to sell out quickly, so be sure to register your child early to ensure a spot.

Okay, dear reader. Sign you kids up now — before it’s too late!

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Hambo’s Science Workshops for Kids

  1. I made the mistake by actually clicking on the link. The picture of the children being brainwashed is heartbreaking!
    Then I wondered about the forensics workshop – isn’t that historical science? Believe it or not, it is a full day course. It seems to be centered around the topic of “The uniqueness of your fingerprints and hair structure testify to a creator God”.

  2. When somebody makes a living by mis-representing reality to other people in order to extract money from them, that somebody is considered a con-man and prosecuted as a criminal.

    Ken ham mis-represents reality (scientific facts) to other people in order to extract money from them (selling them “science workshops”, books, and home schooling material).

    Now, what is the different between the two?

    Ken Ham is a con-man.

  3. “Phew! What’s that smell?”

    It’s creationist experts like Georgia Purdom, Avery Foley, and Bodie Hodge, all in a biblically enhanced room together, giving off noxious gases.

    Quick! Someone open a window and let in some naturalistic air! Never mind the atheistic molecules: we can’t breathe in here!

  4. Charles Deetz ;)

    5 day workshop? How about a day per day in Genesis? A whole day to learn the science behind the firmament and how to break it in two!

  5. And also how all of the stars will eventually fall down onto the ground!

  6. Not exactly, Kosh. Hambo tells everyone right up front that he teaches creation science and his text is the bible. So if you go there, you know what you’ll be getting. That’s very different from taking what’s supposed to be a science course at a real university and getting an instructor who teaches creationism.

  7. You know, while I generally speaking don’t think high of Richard Dawkins (unless he restricts himself to biology) my sympathy for his “religious upbringing is a form of child abuse” increases when I read stuff like Ol’Hambo’s.

  8. You guys are utterly failing to see the potential benefit here to parents of recalcitrant children:

    Son, switch off your damned phone right now and get your chores done, or we’re shipping you off to Hambo’s for a few days of brain-busting bible babble!

  9. @The Curmudgeon
    his text is the Bible
    Yet there is stuff like the hyper-micro- evolution and the ice age and fossils, which aren’t mentioned in the Bible.

  10. Those pesky laws of physics that enable us to age date rocks using radiometric methods are such a pain. And the math is so hard. I think Ol Hambo has a workable solution to those problems. Its called “Ignore the facts” Nice !!!!!

  11. @Kosh and @SC. Ham is up front: he always claims primacy of the bible. And, to his credit Hambo doesn’t go on TV saying that if you send him money god will make you richer, though he does take your money at his fake museums. But, his religion (christianity), like other religions, is a con, promising something that can’t be delivered. All those believers who die and discover there is no heaven with eternal life should come back and sue the churches for their money back. If only that were possible.

  12. primacy of the Bible
    Yet few accept the primacy of the Bible when it comes to the cosmology of the Ancient Near East which is assumed by the culture in which the Bible appeared.
    Nearly all accept most of the 21st century cosmology – in which nothing makes sense except in the light of heliocentrism, and the existence of microbes (the majority of life) and hydrogen and helium (the majority of ordinary matter – for which there is no room in the Bible.

  13. @Mega shows his true nature: “we’re shipping you off to Hambo’s”
    Better not tell Olivia – I don’t think she’ll appreciate your cruelty.

  14. “The vast majority of museums, schools, and other institutions teach science from a naturalistic (really atheistic) perspective”

    My understanding is that it’s pretty hard to exhibit elusive supernatural creatures or propose simple experiences based on non-natural never-proved forces. Perhaps Holly Ham should try to have his Great Boss (Who Rules Them All) to appears at the Creation Museum (sic) or send a mini-Flood to show the The Ark can really float? That would be a real theistic exhibition.

  15. “Yet few accept the primacy of the Bible when it comes to the cosmology of the Ancient Near East which is assumed by the culture in which the Bible appeared.”

    The formula seems to be this: Accept science where it doesn’t threaten your religious belief without cognitive dissonance. Reject any science which does force you to deny your religious belief. Evolution (and by extension the age of the earth) provides an alternative explanation to our origins without the need for religion, therefore it is attacked directly by those trying to defend their beliefs, or more importantly by the leaders trying to keep (and fleece) the flock. Ham et al obviously realize that micro evolution adds up to macro evolution given a long enough time. So that is what they focus on. They NEED the earth to be young to support their profession. 😉

    For now I’ll ignore the obvious problems with their position when we start trying to rationalize the divergence of “kinds” that they claim were on the Ark vs what we see today.

    The real problem with this… is that they are instilling in their believers a subconscious attitude towards science that when it doesn’t support your beliefs, it can be rejected. Then we get to climate change. As has been said, “An inconvenient truth”. They then reach into little cog dis packet in their brain and say “I don’t like the conclusion, so I’ll just reject it, dem scientists are wrong about the bible too!”

    In the end, we may go down in history just like the Rapa Nui… unable to avoid environmental disaster because they couldn’t let go of their stupid religion. (assuming that theory is still valid in this example).