The Compassion of Ken Ham

We often describe Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) as the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. But there is so much more to be said! Hambo is also the most compassionate man alive!

At the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), ol’ Hambo’s creationist ministry, he just posted Deaf Day Coming to the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

In just a couple weeks Deaf guests from across the country will be pouring into the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum for two days designed specifically for them.

Ooooooooooooh! They’ll be pouring in! We were a bit confused by Hambo’s capitalization of the word “Deaf,” but a quick look in Wikipedia’s article on Deaf culture informs us:

Deaf culture is the set of social beliefs, behaviors, art, literary traditions, history, values, and shared institutions of communities that are influenced by deafness and which use sign languages as the main means of communication. When used as a cultural label especially within the culture, the word deaf is often written with a capital D and referred to as “big D Deaf” in speech and sign. When used as a label for the audiological condition, it is written with a lower case d.

Thus enlightened, we continue. Hambo says:

October 13, 2018, at the Ark Encounter and October 14, 2018, at the Creation Museum, Deaf guests can enjoy ASL-interpreted or captioned shows, presentations, workshops, and more on Deaf Day.

What’s ASL? Oh, see American Sign Language. We’re learning so much today from ol’ Hambo! After that he tells us:

Sunday morning (October 14) our Deaf guests are invited to join us for a Deaf-led worship service in Legacy Hall before the museum opens. And at the Ark Encounter on Saturday, guests enjoy a special Deaf-led ASL presentation on the 7 C’s of History by Calvin Farley.

Another undefined term. What are “the 7 C’s of History”? Fortunately, we found the answer in our vast archive of creationist lore — see Ten-Foot Wide Creationist Wall Chart. It’s about an item in Hambo’s gift shop — a wall chart revealing that “The Seven C’s of History provide a framework for understanding the true history of the universe as presented in the Bible.”

It isn’t easy to keep up with Hambo’s writing today, but we’re trying. He continues:

If you are Deaf or know someone who is, we encourage you to come or invite others to come to Deaf Day at both the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum. This weekend will be a fall vacation like no other, and we’re excited to reach out to the Deaf community with these two special days.

Okay, that’s enough. So what did we learn, dear reader? We learned that Hambo’s tourist attractions not only appeal to ordinary creationists, but now he’s reaching out to exploit — no, to serve — those who are also hearing impaired. You gotta admire Hambo’s compassionate effort to sell tickets to everyone.

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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10 responses to “The Compassion of Ken Ham

  1. I also thought that the ‘Deaf’ are somehow different to the ‘deaf’. It could have had a spiritual meaning like being Deaf to the Words of Scripture.
    Now we can expect a special weekend for the blind, where they can feel around the dinosaurs and other animals.
    Then we must not forget the lame. I can think of a publicity stunt where people come in in wheelchairs and then walk out unaided. That would turn Ken’s modest establishment into a famous pilgrimage site.

  2. I presume one of the Cs is “crackpot.”

  3. “I presume one of the Cs is “crackpot.””

    Let’s see: “Crazy, Cuckoo, Cranky, Creationist, Crackpot”. That’s 5 out of the seven C’s right there!

  4. Creation
    Corruption
    Catastrophe
    Confusion
    Christ
    Cross
    Consummation

    For some reason, there is no mention of
    Exodus
    Temple
    Prophesy
    Babylonian Exile
    Second Temple
    Old Testament
    Pentecost
    New Testament
    Adoption of Christianity
    Islam
    Reformation
    Fundamentalism

  5. This is clearly proof that the Bible is true!

    Does not the Gospel predict that it’s message will fall on…. (wait for it)…. Deaf Ears?

    Kudos to Ken for figuring out to extract money from Deaf believers.

  6. Charles Deetz ;)

    A bunch of deaf Christians hanging out debating if it is cruel evolution or a cruel God that left them without hearing. Hambo will set them straight.

  7. In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man might be King, but on the day of the Deaf, the one-voiced man is irrelevant.

  8. In the country of the creationist, the one-eyed man is everybody.

  9. Ken could write a book: “Now I know my Creationist ABC.”

    Come and see our mighty Ark
    There are Baramins galore.
    The most-loved Creature in our park?
    Why, it’s T-Rex Dinosaur!

    An Eagle with his gimlet stare,
    His Feathers will astound!
    A Giant icy polar bear,
    And the first created Hound!

    Can you Imagine, before man’s fall
    The Jackal, and the cats?
    Not Killing, but heeding God’s good call
    To Love a plague of rats!

    The elephant and the tiny Mouse,
    They Nuzzle like they’re friends.
    The Orangutan cuddles his insect louse
    God’s Porpoise (giggle!) never ends!

    Had enough?

  10. Karl Goldsmith (@KarlGoldsmith)

    Ken Ham doesn’t seem to know what cannabis oil is, and would like to see more backstreet abortions and women dying.