Creative Challenge #53: More Things To Believe

It’s been a long time since we’ve had one of these. Fortunately, the current lull in The Controversy between evolution and creationism gives us an opportunity to present another challenge to you, dear reader.

We have previously said that if creationists were consistent about their faith in the bible — that every word of it is The Truth — then not only would they believe in Adam & Eve, six-day creation around 6,000 years ago, and the Flood, they should also insist that The Earth Is Flat!, it’s covered by the dome of the Firmament, the solar system is all wrong because The Earth Does Not Move!, and a number of other things that were common beliefs 3,000 years ago when Genesis was written, but which have since then been shown to be wrong.

And that brings us to today’s challenge, dear reader. You’re not limited to Genesis, but using the bible as an infallible guide, besides the items already mentioned, you must tell us, with reasonable brevity:

What other obviously incorrect things should creationists believe?

You know the rules: You may enter the contest as many times as you wish, but you must avoid profanity, vulgarity, childish anatomical analogies, etc. Also, avoid slanderous statements about individuals. Feel free to comment on the entries submitted by others — with praise, criticism, or whatever — but you must do so tastefully.

There may not be a winner of this contest, but if there is, your Curmudgeon will decide, and whenever we get around to it we’ll announce who the winner is. There is no tangible prize — as always in life’s great challenges, the accomplishment is its own reward. We now throw open the comments section, dear reader. Go for it!

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16 responses to “Creative Challenge #53: More Things To Believe

  1. There were three days and nights to be counted before there were Sun, Moon and stars in the Firmament to distinguish day from night and to mark the passage of days.

  2. That a deity who left two totally innocent people in a place where they could touch something totally forbidden, and punished them and their descent for all eternity after they had touched it, is an intelligent, omniscient and benevolent being.

  3. Michael Fugate

    That there are multiple gods.

  4. Gwyllm Griffiths

    That plants existed before the sun (and sunlight).

  5. That God made the sun stand still over Gibeon, while the moon stood still over the valley of Aijalon.

  6. Caterpillars were created on day six and butterflies were created on day five.

  7. Pi equals 3.
    Bats are birds.

  8. That “Little Red Corvette” isn’t Prince’s best song.

  9. Creationists must believe that the stars are divine beings — angels at the very least — because it’s abundantly clear that the “host of heaven” who are commanded by Yahweh and serve Yahweh are the stars, and there is at least one occasion in Judges where the stars are said to leave the sky and fight for Israel.

  10. @Paul D
    There are several places where the heavens are said to have intelligent attributes – praising the Lord, etc. We today automatically read that as anything but the obvious: those lights are intelligent beings.

  11. That there is a physcal process of ascending into a place called Heaven, as in the cases of Elijah and Jesus

  12. Paul D., that’s good!

  13. Exactly, TomS. It’s amazing how blind Christians are taught to be to the plain meaning of the text sometimes.

  14. “What other obviously incorrect things should creationists believe”?
    Buying a banged up, rusty 1967 Alfa Romeo “fixer upper” with 128,000 miles on the odometer and without a windshield and not in running condition, since 1983, for $45,000, is a good idea. The Ol Hambo Ark Park used car dealership and talking donkey and camel emporium. Bring a trailer ! Just trying to help out those sagging attendance numbers.

  15. @ochwill
    But there is an anonymous note telling us that this car is a 2018 model.
    Don’t you believe eyewitness testimony?

  16. TomS. Good point. Didn’t know that about that alfa. As a certified “alfisti”, my faith might be momentarily shaken if Hambo told me that a 1967 GTV was really a 2018 GTV.