Go on Safari with Answers in Genesis

This is one of the most exciting things we ever saw at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

It’s titled Go on an African Safari with AiG’s Drs. Tommy and Elizabeth Mitchell. Wowie! Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

Earlier this summer, AiG’s Buddy Davis (dinosaur sculptor, musician, and adventurer) traveled with David Rives of Creation in the 21st Century to South Africa to lead a photo safari with the tour group Living Passages.

We posted a few times about Rev Rives’ journey to Africa, but we didn’t know he was with anyone from AIG. Hambo says:

The trip was quite popular and went so well that Living Passages is arranging another trip way down south, this time with medical doctors Tommy and Elizabeth Mitchell of Answers in Genesis.

From their website, Living Passages appears to be a creationist travel agency. We didn’t know there were such things. Then Hambo tells us:

This creation safari [Hee hee!], taking place June 7–17, 2019, is sure to be an incredible trip — you know, you can’t go anywhere with the Mitchells without having a great time. [Right!] And their biblical, creationist worldview teaching during the trip is sure to encourage you and your family.

We can’t imagine a better way to travel! He continues:

Enjoy deluxe accommodations, searching for the “Big Five” (the five big mammals: elephants, lions, leopards, rhinos, and Cape buffalo), an optional walk with lions [No way!], hunting, fishing, relaxing at the spa, a horseback safari, stargazing in the Southern Hemisphere (which has different constellations than we have up here) [What?], wild game feedings, and much more. There’s something for everyone on this trip of a lifetime.

Your Curmudgeon has no intention of taking a walk with lions. And what’s that about different stars in the Southern Hemisphere? Hey — that means the Earth isn’t flat! Hey, Hambo — that’s heresy! Let’s read on:

And anyone who signs up and later sends me a photo of Tommy on an elephant, I will send them an autographed copy of my new book, Gospel Reset.

That alone would make the trip worth while. One last excerpt:

Register by October 19, 2018, and enjoy the lion’s walk for free. [Whoopie!] Learn more and see a schedule of events on the events page of our website.

We briefly visited Hambo’s events page. They say the safari cost starts at $3,269 per person — and that doesn’t include airfare. Very reasonable!

We don’t know about you, dear reader, but rather than tour Africa with Hambo’s AIG people, your Curmudgeon would rather visit the Lake of Fire. At least it won’t cost anything.

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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11 responses to “Go on Safari with Answers in Genesis

  1. Who knew that Noah and his family were actually eaten by lions?!

  2. Oh Kenny dear, don’t you know that the people that fall for your drivel don’t make enough money to pay for something like that?

    I’m sure it will go over as well as this years “Creation Cruise” you had planned with Ray Comfort…. you know the one you had cancel?

  3. “an optional walk with lions”
    I can do that for a lot less than $3 269. I don’t even need to leave my native country.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safaripark_Beekse_Bergen

    OK, they are not lions, but to encourage our dear SC to overcome his rational fear I present this recent video:

    Btw the video shows that Dutchies can be total *a — bleep! — s* (self-censorship). They do nothing but enjoy the scene.

  4. Yes, below a certain latitude there are southern constellations that we cannot see from northern latitudes and vice versa.

  5. In the age-old contest between Christians and lions, I root for the lions, every time. At least they could have eaten Buddy Davis’s guitar, and spared us all his interminable ditties.

    I rooted for the shark in “Jaws”, too. I guess that makes me an a*****e, but until the sharks start coming on land and eating people– leave them alone.

  6. Theodore Lawry

    @Kosh A creation cruise in the Caribbean? That could work in the eastern Mediterranean, but the Caribbean is mainly known for whites enslaving the natives to grow sugar cane and replacing them with African slaves when they died out. Those whites were all good Christians too, saving souls if not lives. The islands were hellholes, for everyone except the few plantation owners. What were Ham and Ray thinking?

    One the other hand, the Caribbean was also known for its pirates. Pirates, slave owners, sounds like Ham and Ray’s kind of place!

    Walking with lions is Biblically incorrect, you are supposed to lie down with them. But only if you are a lamb, and lambs are silly creatures, even more prone to follow phony leaders than sheep. Oh, right.

  7. You should go. It might be your only chance to ask a creationist doctor why God created malaria, and other similarly uncomfortable questions.

  8. @Kosh: “Oh Kenny dear, don’t you know that the people that fall for your drivel don’t make enough money to pay for something like that?”

    You reckon without Betsy DeVos and her ilk.

    https://www.propublica.org/article/devos-education-nominees-code-words-for-creationism-offshoot-raise-concerns

  9. Wow, a South African safari with creationists. There’s not enough gin in the world to make me enjoy that!

  10. Being that the world is flat, shouldn’t the same constellations be visible everywhere? Or am I being naive?

  11. @W. Benson
    You’re being too literal.
    🙂