Ken Ham: Juvenile Dinosaurs on the Ark

This one really had us mystified — at first — but then everything fell into place. It’s at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

His post is titled Dinosaur Specimen Collected by Cincinnati Museum Center. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

A news item from close to home (in Cincinnati, just a few miles away from the Creation Museum) caught my eye. Now, I’m used to seeing articles about recent dinosaur finds or analysis of dinosaur fossils in museum collections. But what stood out in this article was that the dinosaur in question was a juvenile sauropod.

So what? Bear with us, dear reader. He says:

According to the article, the dinosaur is most likely a Diplodocus, (or a closely-related sauropod), and there are only eight skulls of this dinosaur currently known, and most are from adults. This juvenile skull is approximately 10 inches (24 cm) long, making it the smallest such skull ever found.

Here’s the news article he’s talking about: Dinosaur specimen collected by Cincinnati Museum Center examined by international paleontologists. At this point we were still wondering why Hambo was promoting an exhibit at a secular museum. Then he devotes a large paragraph to describing the dinosaur skull and estimates of the size of the juvenile specimen: “[T]his particular juvenile might well be under 15 ft. — about the size of an African Elephant.”

Again we wondered: So what? Finally he explains:

Now why am I so interested in this particular dinosaur find? Well, we often get asked questions like, “How did Noah fit dinosaurs on the ark?” and people are surprised when we answer that even the largest dinosaurs started out small and that Noah could have likely taken juvenile (not baby!) animals onto the Ark (and God sent the animals to Noah anyway). But even so, we have been scoffed at by skeptics who imagine that even juvenile sauropods would have been impossibly large, eaten too much, and been too hard to manage. [And extinct for 65 million years.] But this study on one of the potentially largest animals Noah would have taken aboard shows that this is just not the case. Assuming the smaller size of 15 ft. this juvenile dinosaur would have been smaller than most full-grown giraffes.

Oh — it was giraffe-sized. A pair of those, and pairs of other dinosaur “kinds”, would be no problem for Noah, right? Then Hambo releases an ark-load of creationism:

Rather than a fairy-tale ark with the head of the giraffe (and dinosaurs) sticking out, we have shown that the reality is vastly different. There was plenty of space (and headroom) for a giraffe or a Diplodocus (even a large adult) on Noah’s ark, and the ark had more than enough space for food for all of the animals.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! See How Horrible Was Life Aboard Noah’s Ark?, in which we compared the Ark — using scriptural dimensions — to a transatlantic slave ship. Hambo’s creation science lesson continues:

In addition, this study also discovered that at least some juvenile sauropods had more diverse teeth (and more teeth in general) than the adults, and that they likely were able to eat a greater variety of plant material. This means that Noah would have been less likely to have to have needed specialized vegetation for these juveniles. It makes sense for the new world after the Flood that God would probably send mostly juveniles of the land animal kinds.

Yes, it makes sense. Having proven his case beyond any rational doubt, Hambo criticizes the fools who challenge his creation science:

Isn’t this what we have said in many of our articles on this subject? And our exhibits at the Ark Encounter highlight the same thing. People have imagined all kinds of “problems” with the Ark — not enough space, no way Noah could have gathered all the specialized food needed, no way his family could have met the needs of the animals. Yet each time a news story like this comes to light, the skeptics either ignore it or don’t consider that it corroborates what little detail is given us about the ark in Scripture.

Feeling foolish, dear reader? That’s certainly understandable. And now we come to the end:

God wanted Noah’s family and the ark animals to replenish the earth, and he gave Noah the knowledge and ability to do what needed to be done for his family and all the animals. Noah demonstrated his faith in God, by reverently believing God and doing what he instructed [scripture reference].

So there you are. Oh, if you haven’t seen it yet, this humble blog’s most popular article (almost 40,000 page-views) is Top Ten Reasons Noah’s Flood is Mythology.

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18 responses to “Ken Ham: Juvenile Dinosaurs on the Ark

  1. As our humble Curmudgeon points out, the question of whether sauropods could fit on the ark is a red plesiosaur since they went extinct long before people started telling each other myths about a big flood.

  2. Great! Ol’Hambo has answered a question that has bugged me for years! The question is: how did th sloth, who lives in South and Central America, moves with a maximum speed of 150 meter per hour, can’t swim and can’t survive a desert climate arrive in the Middle East to enter the Ark? Brace yourself, because the answer is so stunningly simple that no darwinist materialist evilutionist commienazi ever could have thought it up:

    “and God sent the animals to Noah anyway.”
    Problem solved. Confirmed here:

    “God wanted ….”
    To which we now joyfully can add that Ol’Hambo’s god wanted the two representatives of the sloth kind to break all records, swim the Atlantic, run through the northern Sahara and jump on the gangplank of Noah’s Ark just in time – and so he gave the two Chosen Ones the skills they needed.
    Hey, Ol’Hambo should make a “documentary” about this journey. It will be more exciting than any other display on the Ark.

  3. Michael Fugate

    How did the ark work? Magic. When you can use magic, any problem is easily solved.

  4. “Take with you seven pairs of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and one pair of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate,”
    Genesis 7:2 NIT
    A juvenile animal does not have a mate.
    One might just as well say that the non-mammals were taken on board as eggs. This is just using one’s imagination to add to what the Bible says. Why not just say that the Ark was a TARDIS?

  5. Yes, in those not-so-far-off pre-Flood days, somewhere in South or Central America, the peaceful slumber of those sloth-filled forests rang out with the jubilant cry of Charlie Bucket the sloth: “I’ve got a Golden Ticket!”

    As ever, when Scripture itself is short on details, we can reliably turn to Mrs. Shem’s diaries for an idea of conditions aboard the Ark:

    Day 11
    “…..Shem woke me up again with one of his bad dreams. This time he says he was transformed into a giant mole called Adrian. I just shook my head and told him to get up and help me with the bronchial Styrachosaurus.

    We spent the morning squeezing twelve hundred lemons into a vat of honey and water, and mixed it all together. We forced the whole concoction down the creature’s gullet, and let it be. Meanwhile, Japheth came to us with news about the Bengal tiger we call Reuben Putzner, with whom Japheth has bonded. And no, we didn’t go all the way to the Bengal. The Bengal came to us!

    “Reuben Putzner is refusing to eat”, Japheth told us in mournful tones. “Except for the occasional cherry, he partakes of almost nothing. He’s wasting away!”

    Mrs. Ham and I set to work baking a cherry pie. Don’t ask us how we baked a cherry pie. We built an Ark and rounded up two of every living thing, didn’t we?

    When the pie was ready, we took it to Reuben Putzner. He sniffed at it delicately with his huge flared nostrils, then began to sink his magnificent fangs into the pastry. Yahweh be praised! The tiger was at last eating! We were ecstatic, and began industriously baking; but even so, I confided to Shem that it was a little sad to see such a noble animal such as Reuben Putzner reduced to a life of pie…”

  6. Michael Fugate

    Or like the magicked Ford Anglia in Harry Potter. A regular car on the outside, but with all the extra space needed on the inside.

  7. It’s very disturbing to realize that there are people who believe this drivel.

  8. There are people in Russia who trust Putin …

  9. And people in the US who trust Trump…

  10. “[W]e have shown that the reality is vastly different”.
    Ham should have narrowed it down to “our reality”. There are different kinds of realities. Ken just inhabits an alternative universe. Totally acceptable in today’s times where we have alterative facts

  11. Are there any constraints on what counts as an alternative universe? For example, consistency, coherence, making sense? Is there any point in trying to make sense of “Colorless green ideas sleep furiously”?

  12. My understanding of an alternative universe is simply a ‘reality’ which fits the way you want reality to be. That can be a 6,000 year old universe, or a flat earth with a curved dome on top, a cycling universe according to Hindu teaching, or maybe an earth seeded by aliens. I guess that the laws of nature must still apply, at least in the short-term.

  13. My understanding is that the laws of logic will apply.

  14. In alternative universes only when it suits (same for laws of nature).

  15. Young animals being smaller hardly solves the space problem.

    A grown-up dog eats about 7 times its own weight per year. A puppy will consume about 8-9 times, a number which declines as the critter itself gains mass.

    Don’t worry about space for the animals themselves; worry about where you’re going to store all that food and prevent it from rotting.

  16. Ham’s right. Genesis 6:20 says “two of every kind shall come unto thee”, so obviously God must have sent them and there’s no problem

  17. When all those animals that the god type person (blessed be he/she/it) sent from other lands, such as sloths, penguins and kangaroos, the Noah family must have been astonished by the diversity. I wonder why none of the fable writers mention that.

  18. @beastwood
    Why to you think that Noah got drunk?
    Think of the surprise when he found out that there were eight families (aka
    “created kinds”) of whales (I have no idea how many kinds of whales which are now extinct, but were extant at the time of Noah, and then there were the ichthyosaurs and such) which were air-breathing vertebrates, so would have to be accommodated on the Ark, somehow. I’d bet that Noah, even if he had heard of whales, probably thought that they were fish.
    he/she/it I suggest that one use “they”.