A couple of weeks ago we wrote Ken Ham Teaches Ladies About Sex, about a grand sex education event planned for this coming April by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.
Apparently, it wasn’t an immediate sell-out, so ol’ Hambo has posted about it again. It’s at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry, titled Don’t Miss Answers for Women Super-Early-Bird Registration Deal! Because we know you’re fascinated by everything Hambo has to tell us about sex, we’ll give you some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
Discover God’s wonderful design for sexuality — and how to share this message with others — at our 2019 Answers for Women conference, taking place at the Ark Encounter in the new Answers Center April 5–6, 2019. Enjoy in-depth teaching from experts such as [Who cares?], me, and many others. But, hurry, the super-early-bird discount on registration ends November 1, 2018.
Ooooooooooooh! This is your opportunity to understand “God’s wonderful design for sexuality.” Hambo says:
During Answers for Women, you’ll be equipped to:
• Talk to your children and teens about the sexual revolution.
• Provide answers to the issue of transgenderism.
• Compassionately share Christ with homosexuals.
• Think biblically about sex and the single woman.
• And much more!
Wowie! Who wouldn’t want to be equipped to do all of that that? Then he tells us:
In addition to the abundance of teaching on hot-button cultural issues, you’ll enjoy worship music from husband and wife Jonathan and Emily Martin, founders of The Word in Worship, and a special concert from composer Fernando Ortega.
As wonderful as that sounds, there’s even more! Hambo continues:
You’ll also receive free admission to both the Ark Encounter and nearby Creation Museum (a $70 value!) so you can explore everything these two incredible attractions have to offer.
Ooooooooooooh! And now we come to the end:
This conference makes a fantastic ladies weekend away or mother-daughter retreat. Group pricing and multi-day options are available. Register today to ensure your spot and enjoy the super early-bird discount at AnswersforWomen.org.
We’re trying to imagine all those young ladies learning about sex. If ever there were a time for you to visit Hambo’s tourist attractions, this will be it. Well, dear reader, what are you waiting for?
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