But they may have a problem with one that’s reported in the Daily Express, a national tabloid newspaper headquartered in London (with an active comments feature). Their headline is God is FEMALE: Life after death victim finds God is a WOMAN in afterlife shock. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
God is depicted as a man in biblical texts, and is also known as the Father. However, one person claims to have evidence to the contrary and believes that God is a woman. [Gasp!] The woman, who gives her name as Rebecca, had an anaphylactic reaction to a prescribed medication. This caused her heart to stop beating and leaving her without breath.
Wow! Then what happened? The tabloid tells us:
She technically died for a few moments and in this time claims to have been given supernatural powers and the chance to meet God. [Ooooooooooooh!] As Rebecca was slipping into the afterlife, she says she could “read the thoughts of the emergency medical technician (EMT) who was with me”. She said: “He was thinking that I was so young to die. I then sensed a presence with me.”
A presence? How exciting! The tabloid continues to quote Rebecca:
The presence spoke to me in a kind and soothing female voice. I did not see her. She did not speak with words but with thoughts. That is the best way I can describe it. When I thought ‘Am I dying’ she spoke with surety and said, ‘No! that would never be asked of your parents’. Then it was like she became even more soothing than before. She told me not to fear because there would be nothing wrong with me. She told me this several times.
The tale goes on:
Rebecca was revived after a few minutes, and just as the soothing voice told her, the medical professionals ran tests and found nothing. Rebecca is convinced what she saw was not a hallucination.
The tabloid then gives some information about skeptics who doubt the reality of such experiences, but we don’t care about what those hell-bound naturalists think. We’re trembling about the news that god is a woman! What do you make of it, dear reader?
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