Until some creationism news comes along, we’ll entertain you with some other-worldly Oogity Boogity. We found this in the Daily Express, a national tabloid newspaper headquartered in London (with an active comments feature). Their headline is Earthquake WARNING: ‘CRITICAL’ tremor predicted in DAYS. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
EARTH should brace itself for a large earthquake in the coming days as planets in the solar system align and tug on Earth’s tectonic plates, as an earthquake forecaster predicts a tremor will strike between now and Thursday.
The planets are aligning! Ooooooooooooh! The prediction comes from an “earthquake forecaster,” so it must be true. The tabloid says:
This is because Venus, Uranus [Gasp!], Neptune, the Moon and Mars are all pulling on Earth. The gravitational pull of the celestial bodies either side of our planet could pull on Earth’s tectonic plates, according to the prediction. As the plates are tugged apart, they could cause earthquakes around the globe.
Egad — they’re all pulling on the Earth! And Uranus is involved. This is serious! Here’s more:
New-age earthquake forecasting website Ditrianum, run by researcher Frank Hoogerbeets, made the prediction, saying: “Critical geometry on the 12th and 13th may trigger more seismic unrest and possibly larger earthquakes from the 13th to the 15th”.
Here’s their website: Ditrianum. Their “About” page says:
Ditrianum is a non-profit organization with a primary focus on seismic activity related to planetary geometry. Based in the Netherlands, Ditrianum was founded in 2002 by Frank Hoogerbeets who since childhood has a great interest in the solar system and the planets.
Very impressive! The tabloid continues:
Mr Hoogerbeets claims he uses a Solar System Geometry Index (SSGI) which “is the computation of a dataset for a specific time-frame of values given to specific geometric positions of the planets, the Moon and the Sun”. [Wow!] He added: “After three years of observations, it became clear that some planetary geometry in the Solar System clearly tends to cause a seismic increase, while other geometry does not.”
There’s also information about another earthquake coming this Christmas, but it’s a month away so we’ll let you read that for yourself. The news story ends with a bit of typical negativity from other scientists, who are probably jealous of Hoogerbeets:
But experts have dismissed Mr Hoogerbeets’ claims, saying that there is no way earthquakes can be predicted. John Bellini, a geophysicist at the US Geological Survey (USGS) has said: “We can’t predict or forecast earthquakes. Sometimes before a large earthquake you’ll have a foreshock or two, but we don’t know they’re foreshocks until the big one happens.”
The fools! Your Curmudgeon isn’t taking any chances. We’re going deep underground and staying there until the danger is passed. We hope that you do likewise, dear reader.
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