Ticket Sales for Hambo’s Ark — October 2018

What would we do without our clandestine operative in Kentucky, code-named “Blue Grass”? He has provided us with the latest official ticket sales figures for people visiting Ark Encounter — the creationist tourist attraction built by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia.

As you know, Hambo has to pay a safety tax of $.50 (fifty cents) to the City of Williamstown for each ticket sold, and the results are available through the Kentucky Open Records Act (KORA). Our operative showed us a copy of the latest Monthly Safety Assessment Report. It reveals that Hambo’s Ark Encounter sold 89,343 tickets in October 2018, resulting in a fee due to the city of $44,717.00.

Now the big question is: What were the ark’s ticket sales for the same month during the preceding year? As we reported in Hambo’s Ark — True Figures for the 2nd Year, in October of 2017 the Ark sold 93,639 tickets. Blue Grass now says last October’s figure was 93,659 — a slightly higher number than we reported earlier. We’ll go with his latest number.

What do we learn from this? The first thing to note is that Hambo sold a lot of tickets. We have to give him credit for that. But the next thing we observe is that the number of paid tickets for this October isn’t higher than last year’s number. In fact it’s lower. Not by much, of course, but it is lower. It’s 4,316 lower, which is a dip of 4.6%. September’s ticket sales were almost 17% lower than the year before, so the October slippage isn’t nearly as great — but it is a decline.

What will Hambo say about this? If his prior rants are any clue, he’ll once again say that the secularists are spreading misinformation about his glorious ark. He’ll claim that there are enormous numbers of uncounted visitors, because little children get in free with their ticket-buying parents, and lifetime pass owners don’t have to buy a ticket each time they visit. And we’ll respond by saying that those factors were also true last year, and it doesn’t change the fact that actual ticket sales have declined.

So where are we? We don’t know how much Hambo’s activities cost to operate, but it would appear that he’s selling enough tickets to keep the ark afloat, so to speak. Also, we don’t know whether the recent declines in ticket sales will continue. The important thing is that despite Hambo’s claims to the contrary, the numbers aren’t increasing. It’s quite the opposite.

As before, it’ll be fun to watch Hambo’s reactions when the press reports his ticket sales figures. And we’re grateful to our clandestine operative for his excellent work.

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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17 responses to “Ticket Sales for Hambo’s Ark — October 2018

  1. “little children get in free with their ticket-buying parents”
    That bothers me most. How many of them are talented, would become geologists, biologists, palaeontologists, astronomers, historians, etc, etc. But no, they can’t because the literal interpretation of an ancient book has to be their starting point in life.

  2. “Been there, done that.” Why would anyone want to go back for more is what people seem to be saying.

  3. How many would have grown up to be Biblical scholars? Not very many. How many people in the USA today a few hundred, one in a million?
    How many would have grown up to be CHristians?

  4. Karl Goldsmith

    “We don’t know how much Hambo’s activities cost to operate” That is what the Crosswater Canyon 990 is for. Service revenue from zero to $32,606,246 (Ark income). Salary has more than doubled. Other expenses have tripled to $21,756,618. Zipline revenue was $96,675. And don’t forget that tax rebate is $1,836,772.

    The 990 for end June 2018 will make comparison easy with first two years side by side.

    The Independent contrators is where it shows they spent $1.3 million leasing buses, and $3.4 million on advertising.

  5. I must have mislaid my Bible where it says the animals swarmed out over the continents after the ordeal- on a zipline.

    I wonder if they had to pay for their tickets, too.

  6. Oh, didn’t Kenny mention it. The little kiddies get to go on the zipline for free too. Everything is free for the kiddies; pretty sure Kenny throws in lunch too. See, they figure the parents’ll be like “seen one ark, seen ‘em all”. But the kiddies, they have the time of their lives.

    Oh, if you could see the look of terror when they come off the zipline. And Kenny, oh, he’s clever, he’s got his staff there telling ‘em that that’s what the fires of hell are like. And then they take the kiddies over to the petting zoo where it’s all happiness and light, and they explain that this is what it’s like in heaven.

    Nah, forget the oldies. Kenny’s read his Reader’s Digest Aristotle – “Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man.” That’s his plan.

  7. @Draken:

    “…the animals swarmed out…on a zipline.”

    As Oscar Wilde said (in the Python sketch): “I wish I had said that.”

  8. @ChrisS
    It wasn’t just a Monty Python sketch, there was an exchange very much like that between Oscar Wilde and Whistler. See

    And Whistler responded with something like, “You will, Oscar, you will.”
    And the report has it that Wilde enjoyed it as much as anyone else.

    One of the all-time good responses, and it seems to be true!

  9. But, all of your brighter than thous are blown to smitherines showing beyond doubt through math and statistics God wrote the Bible and you will stand before him. Math is the language of hard science. Chris Queen (BSME)

  10. @TomS:

    Well, I’ll be damned (I will be, too!). And I always thought that was pure Python. That makes the sketch even funnier.

  11. Michael Fugate

    Be careful what you wish for genuine article – if one relies on math and science to prove that God exists, then one is in trouble. Better to rely on faith; science changes….

  12. NOPE we’re talking about skeptics here and the Lord had them in mind also. And until your faith is tested I would not boast.

  13. “…God wrote the Bible and you will stand before him.”

    You took National Absurdity Day too literally, friend. Crank talk and schizophrenic threats don’t cut much ice around here.

  14. Michael Fugate

    So you aren’t relying on faith GA?

  15. Regardless of the numbers, Ham can always truthfully say that more people than ever have visited the Ark.

    Sounds really good — until you think about it.