Creationist Wisdom #918: Faces Disprove Evolution

We didn’t think it would happen, but we found something to blog about today. It’s a column in the Uinta County Herald of Evanston, Wyoming, titled Reflections on the human face, and the newspaper has a comments section.

Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name — but today we’ve got a preacher. It’s Jonathan Lange, pastor of Our Saviour Lutheran Church. This is the rev’s second appearance in our collection. The first was #843: Darwin’s Lie. We’ll give you a few excerpts from the rev’s new column, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!

The human face has 42 muscles. Some of these let you perform the basic functions of life, like chewing and breathing. But far more of what they do has nothing to do with life-sustaining functions. Facial muscles are so arranged that human beings can also create an incredible variety of expressions. We can furrow our eyebrows, purse our lips, grin like a Cheshire cat or frown like the Grinch. We talk with our faces. In fact, human facial muscles are as important to human communication as are words.

What does this have to do with creationism? Be patient, it’s coming. The rev says:

Our bodies declare that we were meant to communicate face to face. It’s literally in our DNA. We have muscles, skin and skeletal features that serve no other purpose. Some would say that this is a remarkable product of evolution. I think that’s hogwash. [Go, rev, go!] Such theories assume that everything can be boiled down to pragmatism. Evolutionists will theorize that somehow people who had the special muscles which enabled them to smile were more fit to survive than those who didn’t.

We evolved from ape-like primates who had no language, yet they communicated — and still do — with facial expressions. But the rev ain’t no kin to no monkey, so that explanation isn’t available to him. So he tells us:

Evolutionary theory cannot find purpose in anything. It can only see random developments either surviving or dying in the meat-grinder of nature. What a purposeless world! No wonder that decades of teaching it to our school children has created so many pessimistic people.

He’s right. There was no pessimism before Darwin. The rev continues:

For my part, I am quite certain that we could survive just as well without faces. [Hee hee!] We would just have a lot less joy. Faces are for fun, not survival. Evolutionary theory is the most joyless and bleak worldview that anyone can have. [It’s joyless!] That’s why I have never met an evolutionist that believes their own theory 100 percent. Purposelessness is its soft underbelly. Committed evolutionists like Neil Degrasse Tyson try to cheer you up by telling you that you are made of stardust. But so is a cockroach. Big deal. Without purpose life has no meaning.

Your life has no meaning, dear reader. Let’s read on:

But where evolutionary theory has no place for play, joyful exuberance is at the center of God’s creation. Creation tells about a God who did something that He didn’t have to do — something that wasn’t necessary for his survival. He made things and people for the sheer joy of making them. [Whoopie!] You don’t get more optimistic than that. Who would literally move heaven and earth just to express his eternal love? God would. Not only does this account of the world make loads more scientific sense than any of the current evolutionary theories [Hee hee!], it is also way more joyful.

Great, huh? Here’s another excerpt:

What if I told you that God put 42 muscles into your face because he delights in your delight? When we talk to one another face to face, we use muscles and make expressions which have nothing to do with our survival. They have everything to do with our joy. Those muscles have meaning. They didn’t just evolve and survive the meat grinder. They have been there all along. [Since Adam & Eve.] They are characteristic of being human. They make us uniquely suited for community. They make us not just a community of minds, but a community of bodies.

How carnal! Here’s more

Human beings are not just minds haphazardly encased in randomized bodies. Your face is an integral part of who you are; without it, you cannot fully communicate yourself to others. What is more, it’s not just your face that is integral to who you are, so is your entire body. This observation is a corrective to one of the strangest phenomena of our day. Among those encumbered by an evolutionary worldview there are many who are estranged from their own body. [Huh?] They drive a wedge between the mind and the body, as though these are not only separable from one another, but at war with one another.

Perhaps that’s your problem, dear reader. Anyway, we’re going to skip a lot to keep this from getting too long, like his complaint about Facebook, which is all words and no faces, because “It has not helped us to love one another, but it sure adds to the hate.” The rev ends with this:

Let’s spend more time using our faces again. It’s one of your most God-like features. It enables you to spread joy and love that is not necessary for your survival. It is totally exuberant and unnecessary. It is what makes life worth living, and what makes you most fully human.

Well, dear reader, that was a strange one, but it certainly belongs in our collection. Thanks, rev!

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #918: Faces Disprove Evolution

  1. I’ve taken a particular liking to Brandolini’s Law. So I say simply, “what a load of BS”.

  2. Holding The Line In Florida

    Ditto tedinoz! The BS is indeed strong in this one.

  3. A simple summary is that creationist thinking[*] disproves creationist logic.

    *For a suitably relaxed definition of “thinking”.

  4. Indeed I am quite skeptical of religion and people like the rev.

    As for purpose, we all have a purpose as a consequence of evolution, and that is to survive and propagate each of our species. Then we need only survive to ensure our offspring survive to propagate, the time for this depends on the species and the fitness of the offspring.

  5. I’m not sure what Rev Lange means by claiming that evolutionists drive a wedge between mind and body. I’m a biologist and I’ve always thought that what people call “mind” is a product of a whole lot of neurons in the part of the body known as the brain, similar to the way a “pulse” is the product of a bunch of cardiac muscle cells in the heart.

  6. Is it odd that the theme to the Twilight Zone played in my head reading his “words of wisdom”?

  7. Humans became so successful (7+ billion and counting) through cooperation. The more effective we are at communicating, the better we are at cooperating. Evolution, pure and simple. It’s amazing how the Rev is so blinded by his religion that he cannot see this.

  8. God put 42 (count ’em) muscles into your face, according to the reverend Love and Joy. Setting aside the significance of that Douglas Adamsian number, it’d be all the same if there were 42 or 72. The rev would still chalk it up as a victory for God.

    God was presumably in a joyful, playful, exuberant kind of mood when he created poor Joseph Merrick’s face and body; or the contemporary actor/activist Adam Pearson, among others.

    Like the founder of his church, the rev seems to be afflicted with chronic constipation. He takes his own interminably costive time telling us what’s supposedly wrong with the state of the world.

  9. Just some random thoughts with no particular deep consequences.
    If we count success of a species their number, then what about the number of Pelagibacter unique?
    The fact that there is a noun, like “mind”, does not mean that there is something that it refers to.

  10. “Our bodies declare …..”
    I just asked my body. The answer: total silence.

    “It’s literally in our DNA.”
    Ah! Earth-shaking! Pastor Jonny has found the letters m, e, a, n, i, n and g written in DNA! His god must speak English.

    “….. boiled down to pragmatism”
    Aha, after materialism this is the new creacrap term for methodological naturalism.

    “as though these are not only separable from one another, but at war with one another”
    BWAHAHAHAHA! It’s christians, including creacrappers like Pastor Jonny, who utter phrases like “the mind is willing but the flesh is weak”. At the other athiest materialist commienazis like me maintain that the distinction between body and mind is artificial, because they are actually one.
    Never mind. I thank for Pastor Jonny for giving me a lot of joy this Friday Morning, albeit probably not in the way he meant it. Must be because of his DNA.

  11. @DavidK: “As for purpose, we all have a purpose as a consequence of evolution, and that is to survive and propagate each of our species.”
    Nope, we haven’t. Evolution Theory is totally OK with Homo Sapiens stopping to procreate and even stopping to survive beginning right now.

    @ChrisS: “God put 42 (count ’em) muscles into your face,”
    Aha! The ultimate essence of our Universe! Can’t be coincidence!

    @Anonymous: “The fact that there is a noun, like “mind”, does not mean that there is something that it refers to.”
    Correct, but in the case of mind it actually does (though not necessarily what Pastor Jonny thinks it refers to): the collection of thoughts and emotions etc. that humans have.

  12. The Rev reminds me of the one and only time I went to a yoga class, to which my good wife dragged me, on the grounds that it would be good for me, and I couldn’t expect to spend my leisure hours just enjoying myself. I managed quite well until the instructor told me to listen to my pelvis, at which I broke into coarse guffaws, all the worse for my unsuccessful efforts to suppress them. I afraid that I am, however, unrepentant.

  13. @Dave L:
    Did the yoga instructor also tell you to listen to the Cosmic Ocean, the planets, and — especially — Uranus?

    Frank B:
    I originally had in mind the splendidly demented, vengeful Agrajag from “Life, the Universe and Everything”, who looked like “a mad, fat bat”, and who kept shrieking at Arthur Dent: “COINCIDENCE?”

  14. “evolutionary theory has no place for play”!
    Has the pastor never seen kittens or puppies? Almost all young mammals play. It fits very well with evolution that young animals should take pleasure in practising, in a relatively safe and supervised environment, elements of the behaviours that they will later need to perform well in the harsh world of adulthood.
    Also, “Committed evolutionists like Neil Degrasse Tyson try to cheer you up by telling you that you are made of stardust. But so is a cockroach. Big deal.”
    Maybe the thought of being not only constructed from the same materials as, but also being distant kin to, cockroaches does not please our pastor, but I am happy to be kin to such admirable creatures.

  15. @Dave Luckett — I “listened to my pelvis” a bit too much in my younger years, and although it was fun, it got me into a wee bit of trouble on occasion.

    But then, “listening to our pelvis” does have evolutionary value — the more we listen, the more we procreate.