The Expanding Universe Is in the Bible

Creationists never hesitate to condemn science for discovering things that are contrary to the bible. In addition to evolution, they also reject our cosmological models for the development of the universe. For a good example, see this about something from ol’ Hambo’s website: AIG: Why Big Bang Theory is False.

Well, dear reader, prepare yourself for some amazing news. We found this in the Daily Express, a national tabloid newspaper headquartered in London (with an active comments feature). Their headline is Biblical SHOCK as holy text CONFIRMS Big Bang theory: ‘The universe is expanding’. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

The scientific world has been at odds with religion for centuries but the debate has grown increasingly heated in recent years – particularly over the origins of the universe. Creationists believe in the Book of Genesis, which tells the story of God creating the heavens and the earth in seven days [six, actually], but critics argue that the world we know today was formed after a cosmological event known as the “Big Bang” followed by centuries of evolution. [Only “centuries”?] However, academics suggest the two may not need to be at odds after all.

Hambo and others like him won’t like it, but that’s what makes this stuff so much fun. The tabloid says:

The Old Testament’s Book of Job 37:18 reads as follows: “Hast thou with him spread out the sky, which is strong and as a molten looking glass?” This, according to experts, implies biblical knowledge of what we now know as the Big Bang theory.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! To us, it’s nothing but a description of the dome of the firmament. If the book of Job is so scientifically accurate, what about this in Job 18 (King James version, of course):

4 Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding.

5 Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it?

6 Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;

But let’s keep an open mind. The Daily Express tells us:

As estimates suggest the Book of Job was written around 600BC, this would mean the theory itself could be over 2,600 years old. [Theory?] Analysing the passage, Christian thinkers have paraphrased it to mean: “Were you with God when he stretched out particles from the Big Bang which violently caught, fastened and, via seething heat, cleaved to each other forming hard celestial bodies.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! The tabloid continues:

Creationist academic Hugh Ross claims: “The Book of Job talks about the beginning of the universe and how it’s a beginning beyond matter, energy, space and time. It’s the first book of the Bible that talks about the expansion of the universe. Fred Hoyle, the famous British astronomer, said that the Bible is amazing in what it says about cosmology. The universe is traceable back to an actual beginning of matter, energy, space and time.”

You know who Hugh Ross is. We wrote about him recently in Hugh Ross Explains Who Created God. And Fred Hoyle is famous for the Junkyard tornado.

The rest of the tabloid article is more quotes from Ross about how “scientific” the book of Job is. Go ahead, click over there and read it if you like.

Oh — we almost forgot. Another great creationist also claimed the Big Bang is described in the bible — but he didn’t rely on the book of Job. We’re referring to Rev. David Rives — Stretching the Heavens. He relied on Isaiah 40:22, which says:

It is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain, and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in:

So there you are, dear reader. The bible is a great science book. The greatest, actually. Read it and learn some science — for once in your wretched life.

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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18 responses to “The Expanding Universe Is in the Bible

  1. Dear SC, you got the Bible all wrong.

    “Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth?”
    What are the foundations of the Earth specifically and the Universe in general? The scientific laws of course, especially the ones identified and formulated by physics. And they started to work at the Big Bang.
    Creacrap is unbeatable. Everything goes except I am kin of a monkey (and even that one with Michael Behe).

  2. I have wound myself up for so many years reading junk. I don’t see how religion can exist in this day and age unless you believe in a Frank Tipler/ Teilhard de Chardin point of view, which I can live with. I had to put up with almost an hour’s conversation with a god-bothering bible bashing aunt on the telephone last night. Oh well…the gullible and the foolish have always been with us.

  3. Isn’t it amazing that no one understood these verses before the 20th century? But then, pending of course further dscoveries in the Bible, there is noting in the Bible which shw an understanding of pre-algebra mathematics, let alone non-Euclidean geometry and tensor calculus which are necessary to make sense of the expansion of the universe. Hmmm, I wonder whether these Biblical experts can explain their findings in the technical language of the general theory of relativity?

  4. Stephen Kennedy

    We have also learned in recent years that the expansion of the Universe is currently accelerating. Did the bible predict that as well?

  5. “Hmmm, I wonder whether these Biblical experts can explain their findings in the technical language of the general theory of relativity?”

    Numerous creationists have proved[*] that the special theory of relativity is totally wrong, so why should general relativity be spared. In fact, your suggestion is already too late since creationists have also disproven general relativity. Search for “relativity Conservapedia” to view lots of examples of idiotic “conservative” and creationist lunacy in action.

    *By creationist standards, which invariably contradict each other as well as that testable part of the known universe that we call reality. Religionists claim to own the non-testable parts of the universe but since that isn’t reality we can safely ignore their claims.

  6. ““Hast thou with him spread out the sky, which is strong and as a molten looking glass?” My denominational translation of this passage is this. Have you , my fellow Bronze Age goat shepherd in Niger ever felt like this the last time you chewed too much kat? I am founding a new church based on the golden tablets of kat the lost tribes of israel left under a rock in my backyard.
    I’m calling my followers katerwallers. Generous donations accepted. Polygamy . Okay. wink wink

  7. I could care less what the (insert any big book o’BS) says or is shown to say, as it is all nothing but fitting it in after the fact, usually after science shows the truth and then a religidiot tries to fit in to the BS book. To impress me read your book o’BS and find something that says …i.e. “a planet called Pluto is outside Uranus orbit” BEFORE science finds it and leads a scientist to find it. Or wash your hands before eating to prevent germs from making you sick.

  8. There are any number of books that can be interpreted to foretell things to come. For instance, I just came across an early draft of that children’s classic ‘Green Eggs and Ham.’ Check this out:

    “Could you eat them in a cave?
    Would you eat them with my friend Dave?”

    Apparently his publisher asked Dr. Seuss to omit this stanza on the grounds that it was “too far out, even for the kids.” But I find it an almost uncanny premonition of Ken Ham and one of his recent posts.


  9. @Zetopan has an excellent suggestion: “Search for “relativity Conservapedia”
    Indeed. As bait I present this little gem: “the example of denying a Nobel Prize to the most accomplished physicist of the 20th century, Robert Dicke”
    Maybe this guy deserved the Nobel Price (there are more of them), but not for criticizing General Relativity. He rather tried to improve it. Whether he succeeded is beyond my comprehension. The irony is that Conservapedia accepts the Big Bang, which was predicted by ….. using General Relativity.
    The page on relativity gives Ol’Hambo some more fierce competition, this time in the department of bat[bleep] craziness.

  10. “The Expanding Universe Is in the Bible”

    For creationists in general, anything that science discovers that isn’t compatible with their idiot belief systems is automatically false. That is, up until it is regarded as correct by such a large portion of the non-scientific public that creationists become embarrassed (oblate-spheroid Earthism vs flat-Earthism), then it is “discovered” to have actually been in the bible all along.

  11. Congratulations, Zetopan. You have mastered creacrap thinking. Now you only need to practice it now and then.

  12. With Bible containing close to 800,000 words you can imply a lot of nonsense. Take for instance the passage that is assumed to be about marriage:

    They are not easily broken, and when three strands are woven together, these three cords are not quickly broken. If the third cord or strand is God, then three are better than two.

    Fools, you see the strands in this passage from Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 are actually in reference to the flying spaghetti monster that lords over us.

  13. @Richard Straller, did you forget to end emphasis? “If the third cord or strand is God, then three are better than two” is not part of the verse.

    However, it should by now be obvious that the actual verse, “when three strands are woven together, these three cords are not quickly broken”, refers to quarks, while “Let there be light” refers to the cosmic microwave background.

    There’s also a little cottage industry extracting similar scientific predictions from the Koran.

  14. Isn’t it marvelous how Holy Books manage to predict things after scientists have discovered them?

  15. There are also Hindus who make similar claims about the Gita.

  16. Stephen Kennedy

    It is amusing that Hambo accepts that the Universe is expanding but denies the clear implication of that fact: the expansion is a result of the Big Bang since at one time everything would have been in the same place.

  17. When the folks at LIGO reported the first detection of gravitational waves, Muslim imams found a place in the Qu’ran where gravity waves were predicted, and told everyone this miraculous fact within hours…AFTER the scientific report, natch.

  18. Ashley Haworth-roberts

    Now there’s a dilemma for this Britisher. Whether to believe Ken Ham or the Daily Express.