Creationist Wisdom #919: The Greatest Hoax

Today’s letter-to-the-editor is titled We’ve turned our backs on God. It appears in what had been the Intelligencer Journal-Lancaster New Era (now renamed LNP), of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and they have a comments feature.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is Homer. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!

Alongside Darwinian evolution, I consider man-made climate change to be the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the human race.

You gotta admit, dear reader, that’s a great beginning — and we’re just getting started. Homer says:

Multitudes are joining this campaign, led by indiscriminate, secular scientists who reject the biblical worldview and the authority of Scripture. (Hello, Al Gore.)

Those secular scientists are godless, hell-bound fools! Homer tells us:

I believe the mainstream media has largely suffocated the voices of those who reject this notion. [Suffocated!] In my opinion, the goal of this relentless crusade is a worldwide order, stripping America of its nationalism and coercing us into a worldwide government. [Gasp!] This is why President Donald Trump wisely pulled out of the Paris climate accord.

Aha, so that’s why. Homer continues:

Serious environmental concerns must be addressed. But I believe the growing weather phenomena of floods, hurricanes and fires is the result of a world that has turned its back on the God of the Bible. Rebellion and sin are the reasons for the turbulence and upheaval on planet Earth.

Wow — what a brilliant theory! Bad weather is caused by rebellion and sin. Homer explains:

God controls the weather, the seasons and the order of the universe as well as the rise and fall of the governments of history. Simply put, we’re under the judgment of God.

That makes sense. There’s not much else to be said, so Homer ends his brief letter with this:

According to Scripture, the day will come when Earth will be cleansed and purified at the second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ and given over to all who believe in his name.

When that day comes, Homer will be rewarded. What about you, dear reader?

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #919: The Greatest Hoax

  1. Our Homer sounds like he could be the reincarnation of the author of “The Odyssey” embarking on an odyssey of his own. Somewhat OT, but I read that the works of Homer were not actually composed by Homer, but by someone else with the same name.

  2. Laurettte McGovern

    One word: D’OH!

  3. Michael Fugate

    Scripture also says that Jesus was supposed to come back 2000 years ago…

  4. And once again another religidiot demonstrates their epic st00pidity & ignorance!

  5. Eddie Janssen

    I can understand why people are against evolutionairy theories but what has climate change done to earn the same treatment?

  6. “the day will come when Earth will be cleansed and purified”
    If Homer gets his way this will happen indeed – due to ….. climate change.

  7. @Eddie Janssen
    Why did people deny the obvious about tobacco smoke?

  8. Add Homer to the list of people who didn’t pay attention in high school chemistry. Arrhenius knew CO2 is a greenhouse gas around 1898.

  9. There must have been a lot of sin and rebellion on Jupiter — storms raging for hundreds of years — and Venus, too, back in the day. Those non-existent Venusians got what was coming to them, and now the place is an uninviting hothouse.

    And Mars, let’s not forget. I don’t know what those microbial SOB’s were getting up to, but it must have been pretty damn impious for God to have punished them with freezing temperatures and scouring dust storms.

    I don’t think he ever interfered in Martian politics, though.

  10. “Rebellion and sin are the reasons for the turbulence and upheaval on planet Earth.”

    More “proof” that volcanoes are caused by *sin*! What more do people need to be convinced?

  11. As far as rebellion and sin, hw does the world rate as cmpared to something like 80 years ago?

  12. Lancaster is not far from Dover, PA (of Kitzmiller v. Dover notoriety). Except for the Philly and Pittsburgh areas PA is pretty much deep Trump and Jesus country.

  13. Homer is really Helga Yevtushenko from Minsk, and she is a russian troll. Okay. Just outside Minsk. Near a really big hog farm. Lots of noxious gases. Which cause noxious thought patterns. Before one blacks out completely.

  14. @Matt on
    There is the saying that Pennsylvania is Philadelphia in the East, Pittsburgh in the West, and Alabama in between.

  15. Creationists have long been linking evolution with climate change under the rubric of “controversial topics”; see, also the language of anti-evolution bills

  16. There was the traditional Christian belief that extinction was impossible. That whatever God had created would not go extinct. Certainly not by mere human action. Until the 19th century, people did believe that in the unexplored (by Europeans) parts of the world, there would be living populations of the animals known (by Europeans) only by fossils. Thomas Jefferson thought that the Lewis and Clark Expedition might come across living mammoths, for example. See this from the National Park Service: