Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. He writes a lot of letters to that newspaper, but that doesn’t qualify for full name treatment. His first name is Frank. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!
Evolution is a false theory. It teaches there is no God. If you do not believe in creation you are going the wrong way.
We’re off to a great start! Then he says:
I believe evolution is a religion in the fact that the creators of evolution love and worship the theory. [He’s right!] Now if it is a religion the First Amendment is being broken by respecting one religion over another.
Egad — the First Amendment is being broken! After that stunning revelation, Frank tells us:
We should be able to teach creation in the schools. [Yeah!] The public school systems are brainwashing the children. I did not develop from an ape. [Of course not!] I developed from Adam and Eve. The Lord created Adam from dirt and created him in God’s image. Also the trees and plants are of the same kind of plants that were created during the six day creation.
We love this letter! Frank continues:
It is no wonder that people are doing drugs and murdering people. The school systems have brainwashed the children into believing there is no God. You won’t go to hell if you kill or rape somebody.
Wowie — Frank has discovered the cause of crime! Let’s read on:
The teaching of religion is necessary to keep people in line. There is a real God and there is a real hell. My God is a very wrathful God and vengeance shall be His.
It’s a good thing we read Frank’s letter. We were about to go out on our customary weekend rape and killing spree — the sort of thing all Darwinists do — but his words of wisdom have made us reconsider our sinful ways.
Frank ends his letter with a quote from the bible, so we’ll quit here and let you, dear reader, have the thrilling experience of clicking over to the Daily Republic to read it for yourself. You gotta admit, this is one of the best letters ever!
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