Creationist Wisdom #921: The Cause of Crime

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Daily Republic of Mitchell, South Dakota. The letter is titled Evolution is a false theory, and the newspaper has no comments feature.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. He writes a lot of letters to that newspaper, but that doesn’t qualify for full name treatment. His first name is Frank. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!

Evolution is a false theory. It teaches there is no God. If you do not believe in creation you are going the wrong way.

We’re off to a great start! Then he says:

I believe evolution is a religion in the fact that the creators of evolution love and worship the theory. [He’s right!] Now if it is a religion the First Amendment is being broken by respecting one religion over another.

Egad — the First Amendment is being broken! After that stunning revelation, Frank tells us:

We should be able to teach creation in the schools. [Yeah!] The public school systems are brainwashing the children. I did not develop from an ape. [Of course not!] I developed from Adam and Eve. The Lord created Adam from dirt and created him in God’s image. Also the trees and plants are of the same kind of plants that were created during the six day creation.

We love this letter! Frank continues:

It is no wonder that people are doing drugs and murdering people. The school systems have brainwashed the children into believing there is no God. You won’t go to hell if you kill or rape somebody.

Wowie — Frank has discovered the cause of crime! Let’s read on:

The teaching of religion is necessary to keep people in line. There is a real God and there is a real hell. My God is a very wrathful God and vengeance shall be His.

It’s a good thing we read Frank’s letter. We were about to go out on our customary weekend rape and killing spree — the sort of thing all Darwinists do — but his words of wisdom have made us reconsider our sinful ways.

Frank ends his letter with a quote from the bible, so we’ll quit here and let you, dear reader, have the thrilling experience of clicking over to the Daily Republic to read it for yourself. You gotta admit, this is one of the best letters ever!

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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24 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #921: The Cause of Crime

  1. Uh, did anyone mention to Frank that the reason his god produced the Great Flood was because people were so depraved? And that that was a time when his god walked the earth and many people knew of his existence? And, btw, just who created all of these depraved people? And since Noah’s parent’s and grandparents were not saved on the Ark, Frank is a descendant of Noah, who was a descendant of depraved people, not just Adam and Eve,
    These people rarely get their own stories straight.

  2. @SteveR: do doubt those depraved people were all naturalist athiest materialist darwinist nazicommies like you and me. Also you forget about the important fundagelical principle:
    1. something good – praise the Lord!
    2. something bad – blame Homo Sapiens!
    And since when is creacrap about getting your story straight? My namesake says it clearly: it’s about “I ain’t no kin of no monkey” and not pissing that wrathful god off, so you may eventually avoid the Lake of Fire.

  3. Excuse me, but I have to point out that if there is a reason for God destroying so many people, including infants, and animals, etc. including most of the property of Noah: people are so depraved.
    Isn’t that also a reason for God doing just about anything at any time. Like maybe not telling the whole truth about geology, astronomy and biology? Do you expect that he will tell us about calculus?

  4. “2. something bad – blame Homo Sapiens!”

    Who have been either duped by or volunteered to be in league with Satan! See in the end it is always Satan’s fault. Excepting that the biblical god also made Satan so that actually means … Religious fanatics always seem to be permanently incapable of thinking about the consequences of their moronic claims.

  5. “Frank” claims: “If you do not believe in creation you are going the wrong way.”

    Frank needs to read some non-biblical books. Catholic priest Emmett McLoughlin was expelled from the church for showing that religion does not automatically make people more moral (e.g. the number of Catholics in prison was 6X higher than in the general population, etc). And all of that was well before the pedophilic sex and money laundering that the church has been involved in had been currently well exposed.

    https://ffrf.org/legal/item/16865-studies-show-inefficacy-of-prayer

  6. Great letter to cheer you up on a bleak Monday morning. But very sad when you realise that there are millions of Franks out there. Also, Frank must be very limited in his Christian understanding if he believes that evolution “teaches” that there is no God.

  7. @hans435: Right, like most of the creationists, Frank demonstrates a limited (lim -> 0) understanding of both evolution and the religion he claims to like.

  8. Evilution has nothing to do with any gawd except for the 3 abrahamic religious BS. It does not deny a gawd but the way evilution works makes a lie of the various big books o’BS!!!

  9. Evolution is a false theory. It teaches there is no God.

    Of course, it “teaches” no such thing. It disagrees with Genesis, which is not the same thing; the Bible is merely presumed by some believers to be the literal Word of God, dictated to His stenographer Moses.

    I believe evolution is a religion in the fact that the creators of evolution love and worship the theory. [He’s right!] Now if it is a religion the First Amendment is being broken by respecting one religion over another.

    That’s a big “if,” Frank. Just believe you believe it doesn’t make it so.
    The teaching of religion is necessary to keep people in line. There is a real God and there is a real hell. My God is a very wrathful God and vengeance shall be His.
    Spoken like a true ayatollah, Frank. All unbelievers must be beheaded immediately!

  10. Michael Fugate

    Here is a classic by the same author:
    http://mitchellrepublic.com/opinion/letters/3808604-letter-there-only-one-god-worthy-name
    The trinity is like a water molecule…

  11. Evolution disagrees with a particular understanding of Genesis.
    But the same thing can be said about the globular Earth. Or the planet Earth. Or an old (many millions of years) Earth.

  12. Powerful stuff from American Frank. Sounds like he’d prefer to live in a totalitarian “paradise” — the clean and wholesome Christian kind, not that filthy Commie travesty.

  13. @Michael Fugate
    Good find. God the water molecule. Tells you a lot about Frank. Sometimes I think the Internet is a curse. Before the digital age only a few dozen people would have had to read that rubbish. Now, Frank can trumpet it to the entire planet.

  14. Dave Luckett

    “…if it is a religion the First Amendment is being broken by respecting one religion over another”.

    As my father, the Presbyterian minister, used to remark, “If the Queen of Sheba had … a beard, she’d be the King.” The perceptible pause before “a beard” was to allow the Presbyterian imaginations of his elders to work. The fact that these days the Queen of Sheba could become the King by wishing it so would not have occurred to him, or them. Although there was historical precedent for that, in the case of Hatshepsut, King of Egypt, chin beard merkin and all. Nothing new under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 1:9)

  15. Dave Luckett

    @hans435: “bleak morning”? It’s 85 degrees F, or 30 C if you prefer, light high cloud, and summer is a-coming in, loud thou sing boo-hoo. Funny how we are in exactly opposite seasonal phase, but during the months December to March, wish we were somewhere else.

    But Frank’s “christian understanding” is of course not only limited but utterly erroneous even within its excessively narrow compass. For example, you will not necessarily go to Hell just for killing or raping. You can be forgiven by God for that and all other sins, (for God is not a monster of revenge and punishment, but is infinitely merciful) save only sins “against the Holy Spirit” – or doesn’t Frank believe the word of the man he thinks is God? Now all we need to do is to define exactly what a sin against the Holy Spirit is, and we’re home free. Ah, the uses of theology! And some folk say it’s completely pointless.

  16. “The teaching of religion is necessary to keep people in line.”

    Which is why “religion” was invented in the first place. And of course for it to work, you have to make people believe it. So how do we do that? Well, by telling them that if they DO believe, they will have everlasting life in a wonderful paradise called “heaven”, but if they DON’T believe, they will be tormented for all eternity in a place called “hell”. Ingenious — no way to disprove it.

    Frank also says, “I developed from Adam and Eve. The Lord created Adam from dirt…”

    Well, Frank, that may be ok by you, but I ain’t no kin to no mud puddle.

  17. @Dave Luckett
    Keyboard trick. For a degree mark (º) as in “85º F,” type option “0” (zero) on an Apple keyboard. (Or maybe alt “0” in Windows. Just guessing here.)

    Have fun checking out all the other “option (X)” possibilities, Such as option v (√), option p (π), option m (µ), etc. And to get an accent ague(?) as in “resume´ “, type the word and then option e. There’s a lot more that I don’t have any idea about, so experiment. I’m sure others can tell us much more.

  18. @ Dave Luckett
    Here in New Zealand summer is also a-coming, but this morning was miserable and a-bleak with currently only 20°C (yes, we do have centigrade here).
    I find the creationist stories, spiked up with our Curmudgeon’s comments, always refreshing and heartwarming to cheer you up on a grey morning.

    P.S. You can get the ° symbol on a Windows machine by holding the ALT key while typing 0176.

  19. Thank you for the instructions on how to type mathematical symbols. However, far be it from me to give the impression that I know any mathematics, and thus suggest that I could enter Plato’s academy. Alas, words will have to suffice.

  20. @TomS is somewhat confused: “Isn’t that also a reason for God doing just about anything at any time.”
    Exactly and that leads us to the second creacrap principle:
    X is evidence for creationism;
    -X is also evidence for creationism.

    Hence the correct answer to your question “Do you expect that he will tell us about calculus?” is:
    Yes. I also expect him not telling us.

    @Zetopan doesn’t entirely get it: ” Religious fanatics always seem to be permanently incapable of thinking about the consequences of their moronic claims.”
    Or if they are they don’t care – being consistent means nothing to them.
    Frank would not be surprised at all as I’m pretty sure he’s no catholic.

  21. @FrankB
    In logical language
    If creationism then x
    If creationism then ~x
    Which the creationist uses to support creationism. If we observe x, or if we observe ~x, the observation is a consequence of creationism.

  22. Tex Watson had a jailhouse conversion. Is he going to Hell?

  23. @retiredscienceguy: on the French é you have the accent aigu. The ague is different, and gives you the shakes.

  24. Frank is just another creationist moron that has nothing better but post his Opinion but opinions are not facts. Looks like more creationist nonsense we can ignore.