Gather ’round, dear readers, and learn some true science from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. He posted this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: Discover the Real History of the Ice Age. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
The ice age, a time of wooly mammoths, saber-toothed cats, and glaciers, may seem like a great mystery. But it’s not a mystery when we start with the history found in God’s Word.
As we’ve said before, there’s no mention of an ice age in the bible — see Ken Ham Explains the Ice Age, and before that Answers in Genesis — The Ice Age. The word “ice” appears only three times in the whole bible:
Job 6:16 — Which are blackish by reason of the ice, and wherein the snow is hid
Job 38:29 — Out of whose womb came the ice? and the hoary frost of heaven, who hath gendered it?
Psalm 147:17 — He casteth forth his ice like morsels: who can stand before his cold?
That’s it. That’s all there is. Hambo is forever telling his drooling followers that there’s a sharp distinction between “Operational” (or “Observational”) science (like chemistry) which is acceptable to creationists, and “Historical” science (like evolution) which contradicts the bible. According to Hambo, the godless belief system of hell-bound evolutionists is based on unproven assumptions, and only scripture is a reliable guide to the past — see Creationism and Science.
Hambo seems to be aware — albeit dimly — of what he has been preaching about science, because then he says:
Indeed, that history actually explains how an ice age is even possible — in a secular worldview it’s very difficult to explain one ice age, let alone the many that secularists believe in.
How is Hambo going to handle this problem? It should be interesting. He tells us:
Now, you may be wondering what the Bible says about the ice age. Well, the Bible doesn’t specifically tell us there was an ice age, but we can observe today that there was indeed an ice age.
How do we “observe” it? Hey, Hambo — Were you there? He continues:
The evidence it left behind is all around us — including in the glaciers that still exist at the poles. But the Bible gives us the history we need to understand this event.
The evidence of evolution is also all around us. Oh, wait — Hambo claims the bible gives us the history we need. What would that be? Let’s read on:
In order to produce an ice age, three basic things are needed:
1. Warm oceans. Warm water evaporates faster than cooler water. Warmer oceans would produce excess evaporation.
2. Cooler land masses. Cooler continents would cause this precipitation to fall as snow, rather than rain.
3. Cool summers. If the summers are cooler, this snow would not melt as easily, allowing it to quickly pile up and form glaciers.
Warm oceans, cold continents, and cold summers. How did that happen? Does the bible tell us? Hambo explains:
What could give us all three of these conditions? Well, the global flood of Noah’s day and its aftermath would! [Yes, it’s so obvious!] Volcanic and other geological activity during and after the year-long flood would warm the oceans. This same volcanic activity would fill the air with ash and dust particles, reflecting sunlight back into space, cooling the air and the continents, and providing the necessary cooler summers.
Does the bible mention those things in connection with the Flood? We don’t think so. But Hambo disagrees:
We know from the geologic record that during and after the flood, the world saw intense volcanic activity. [Huh?] Some of these volcanos [sic] dwarf even the largest eruptions in recent history. The flood of Noah’s day (about 4,300 years ago) and its aftermath formed the perfect conditions for an ice age to encapsulate much of the globe in ice and snow.
Did you follow that, dear reader? No? Too bad for you! Now we come to the end:
As the oceans cooled and the continents warmed, the ice age peaked and began to subside. The glaciers began to retreat and now exist largely at the poles. During this time, many creatures thrived and, as the ice age ended and conditions changed, they died out or lost the gigantic varieties. Others died out due to the harsh conditions of the ice age.
That’s all there is, except for the promotion of a video on the subject. Well, dear reader, what do you think? Did Hambo convince you that there was an ice age after the Flood?
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