There’s no news so far today about The Controversy between evolution and creationism, so we shall fill the void with the announcement of a discovery that has — until now — been carefully kept from the world. After years of solitary study, your Curmudgeon has learned the identity of the mastermind behind what is known as creation science.
We don’t yet know why his name has been kept a carefully guarded secret, but we don’t care. It is time for the world to learn about this mysterious genius. His name is Doctor Creta. His first name is Xerxes, but for some reason, he doesn’t like to use it. His creationist disciples refer to him only as “Dr. X,” or “Dr. Creta” — but never “Dr. X. Creta.” His intellectual output (so to speak) is enormous.
Our research indicates that it was he who developed the critical technique of demolishing the historical science of evolution with the question: “Were you there?” That alone would assure eternal fame for the good doctor, but there is so much more!
He is also responsible for developing the theory of intelligent design, its methodology, and for the Discoveroids’ grandiose Wedge strategy. Additionally, he developed the doctrines of specified complexity, and Irreducible complexity. He alone conceived of transcendentally inspired information — about which see Phlogiston, Vitalism, and Information. Perhaps the most amazing thing of all is that he graciously allowed others to receive credit for those brilliant ideas. Verily, his modesty is as admirable as his brilliance.
No one can doubt that the output of Doctor Creta is pure. With our disclosure of his identity, we hope that he will, at last, receive the credit that he deserves.
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