Hambo’s Ark: Busloads of Droolers

After his blog was off line for a couple of days, we were expecting something spectacular from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. But now that it’s back up, it’s a bit of a disappointment.

He just posted this: Grassroots Tours to AiG’s Attractions. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

As word continues to spread nationwide (and even internationally) about the amazing Ark Encounter and high-tech Creation Museum, more and more “grassroots” tour groups, as I might call them, are making the trek here to Northern Kentucky. There’s a constant flow of families through our gates — with many children and teens — plus church groups and other groups (including many non-Christians).

Ooooooooooooh! Word continues to spread — drooler to drooler. How exciting! Then he says:

One very loyal couple in Iowa has been sending buses of guests our way for several years from hundreds of miles away. As volunteers, Ellen and Roger Bauer have organized these trips and found nearly 1,000 tourists from Iowa and nearby states to join them. The numbers have been increasing each year.

Are they “volunteers” or travel agents who specialize in creationist destinations? That’s never revealed, but we have our suspicions. Hambo tells us:

The Bauers have made dozens of trips [Gasp!], with the Ark Encounter becoming a new major draw since it opened two years ago.

Nobody would do that unless it was a money-making activity. He continues:

We have seen an surge [a surge!] of bus tour groups in the past few years, equating to tens of thousands of guests visiting our attractions. Remarkably, we have sometimes seen up to 60 buses travel to the Ark Encounter in a single day.

And while they’re touring the ark, someone has to hose out the bus to get rid of the drool. Let’s read on:

In an affectionate way, I have called Ellen and Roger “groupies.” Ellen and Roger have remained so consistent over the years that we should place them in an elevated status: from groupies to super-stars! Thank you, Ellen and Roger! We appreciate your creation evangelism efforts!

The typical bus has about 56 seats — or in Hambo’s way of looking at things, that’s 112 ticket-buying droolers. Adult tickets for the ark cost $48, so that’s over $5,300 per busload. Well, some on the bus may be kids, and most of them pay $25. Let’s say the typical busload produces at least $4,000 in revenue for Hambo. Not bad! We have no idea how much the organizers of the tour make, but it’s gotta be something worthwhile, if they keep doing it.

The rest of Hambo’s post is photos, so this is where we’ll leave him. But we can’t stop trying to imagine what it would be like, sitting on a bus full of droolers traveling from Iowa to Kentucky to see Hambo’s ark, and after seeing it, getting back on the bus and returning to Iowa again. No — we can’t imagine it. Can you, dear reader?

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11 responses to “Hambo’s Ark: Busloads of Droolers

  1. No, I can’t imagine it either, being surrounded by these droolers on a bus. For hours. Having to endure those excited conversations.
    But Ham is right when he says that the word is spreading “even internationally”. Just not for the reasons he would love to.
    He mentions that “many non-Christians” are visiting. Does he realise that they are coming for the fun, or does he hope to convert them?

  2. There are aerial photographs of pilgrims circling the Kaaba at Mecca which can conjure up a vision of Hell for the atheist and/or demophobic. Tour groups of middle American creationists — with “groupies” — bused in from Iowa, or elsewhere, like motorized dementia wards, is possibly even scarier.

  3. Thing is, they’re mostly – not invariably, but mostly – kindly, polite, neighborly people, tolerant within large bounds, respectful, decent, charitable. They’re not religious because they’re stupid. They’re not even creationists for that reason. They believe what they believe for two reasons: they’ve never come into contact with the facts, and they’ve never learned to think critically.

    Going on a bus trip to Ham’s Emporium of Falsehoods and Lie Factory is not going to help in either department, of course. But what will?

  4. Being ignorant of these things, Google tells me that the distance is some 1,000 kilometres which equates to @10 hours driving time. Now, I don’t care how committed one may be, but it’s asking too much to drive for a day, spend a day at the ark, and drive home.

    So… ladies and gentlemen, what and where does a bus load of creationists do to make the most of the round trip. What do you suppose are the other highlights of this trip of a lifetime?

  5. http://bauerbustrips.com

    Leave 6:00 am Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at the Creation Museum, Thursday at the Ark, Friday drive home, Saturday and Sunday under sedation.

  6. @hans435. I imagine he doesn’t care if they are converted or if they are there for the fun so long as they spend money. Of course the converted might spend more but it’s all about the buck for him I’m sure.

  7. “But now that it’s back up”
    I cannot help wondering: did Bluegrass or perhaps a colleague execute a successful sabotage campaign?! If yes the disappointing content of Ol’Hambo’s latest burp is fully explainable – he’s still recovering from the blow.

    If Ellen and Roger are travel agents they don’t have a website, so with “Nobody would do that unless …” you may assume too much rationality.

    “But we can’t stop trying …..”
    Are you trying to tell us that you enjoy masochism?!

  8. Karl Goldsmith

    “Creation Museum tickets are valid for two consecutive days, or for two days in a seven-day period when part of a combo.” Has that always been the case of a $35.00 ticket getting you two days. Hey a $70.00 comboticket gets you three days of drooling.

  9. I’m wondering how many of these visitors are walking through this thing and thinking about bible passages and all the good things they associate with their churches. Picnics, charity drives, church dinners, sundays, counseling they get on family or personal matters, friends, fellowship, clubs and just forget how absolutely absurd Hambo’s version of religion is?
    To me, if you’re going to this thing to begin with, you have to be at least sort of a major league dingbat. And I think Hambo is actually helping to drive the reduction in church attendance nationwide. As was alluded to at this blog a few days ago.
    To me, the real indicator of bat sh/t crazy is, are they there for a second or third time? If so, they’re a couple of standard deviations outside normal.

  10. och will notes: “And I think Hambo is actually helping to drive the reduction in church attendance nationwide.” Spot on. I recently had a conversation with the brother of a good friend. He lives in Ohio and a friend convinced him to make a visit to Ham’s “attractions.” His response – “Don’t EVER go there.” I said I had thought about it just to see how bs crazy it is, and he just repeated himself. He also said that Ham’s kind of Christianity is one of the main reasons his 20-something has abandoned church.

  11. Karl Goldsmith

    Ken ham has yet again compared gay marriage to paedophilia.