This one is completely off the scale of our Bizarre-O-Meter™. As you might have guessed, it’s from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.
Ol’ Hambo just posted this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: “Bring Home the Bagels”: PETA Urges People to Drop “Anti-Animal” Speech. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Also, we’ve deleted his numerous scripture references. Get ready for a wild ride, dear reader. Here we go!
Instead of saying, “beat a dead horse,” animal activist group PETA wants you to say, “feed a fed horse.” They also want to change “kill two birds with one stone” to “feed two birds with one scone,” “take a bull by its horns” to become “take a flower by its thorns,” and “bring home the bacon” to see the salty pork product exchanged for bagels. Why? To “remove speciesism” from daily conversation.
Hambo rarely defines his acronyms. PETA is People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. He links to this amusing article in the Washington Post: PETA wants to change ‘anti-animal’ sayings, but the Internet thinks they’re feeding a fed horse. Then he says:
Their tweet declared that these common sayings are “anti-animal language” that we should stop using. Along with an image of the offending sayings, and their suggested replacements, they tweeted,
[PETA’s tweet, which we haven’t verified:] Words matter, and as our understanding of social justice evolves, our language evolves along with it. Here’s how to remove speciesism from your daily conversations.
You may agree with us that PETA is a bit over-the-moon with their recommendations, but wait ’til you see Hambo’s reaction. He proudly tells us:
Now, here’s what I tweeted in response to PETA,
Evolutionists believe plants, animals, and humans are all relatives. In a shocking turn of events, PETA’s making racist statements [Huh?] about our plant relatives and insists we eat them instead of our animal relatives.
What’s he saying? He explains:
You see, PETA’s ridiculous statements come from their evolutionary worldview. [Groan!] They believe we’re related to the animals so they don’t want anyone killing any of our “relatives,” other species (of course, you don’t see them campaigning to save E. coli or mosquitos!). But in their view we’re also related to soy beans, fig trees, and daffodils. In my “debate” at the Ark Encounter with Bill Nye, he said we’re all related to bananas. (Remember that the next time you’re eating a banana.) So why do they urge people to avoid “anti-animal” language regarding animals and not plants, considering they believe we’re related to both?
Brilliant! Hambo has exposed PETA’s hypocrisy. He continues:
But remember, God’s Word clearly teaches that humans are special, made in God’s image. No animal was made in God’s image — only human beings. The evolutionary worldview is inconsistent. As Christians, we have a worldview that explains why we eat both plants and animals.
He elaborates on that with lots of scripture references that we’ve eliminated, but which you may want to check out for yourself in order to fully understand the authority behind what he declares:
Originally, we were created to eat plants but, after the flood, God gave us permission to eat everything. In a fallen world, the sad reality is that there is death, and animals can now be part of our diet because our Creator has given us permission to eat animals. And, we do have the responsibility not to cause undue suffering to animals in our care, whether they be pets or food stock. This is fully consistent with a biblical worldview as stewards of God’s creation having both dominion and compassion.
Then he rants about evolution and his usual adversaries:
And the truth is that, by far, the majority of teachers present evolution as fact to their public school students. [The fools!] Science textbooks used in these schools promote evolution as fact. Most teachers who reject evolution are afraid to even mention any of this, as they’re fearful they’ll be fired because of bullies like AU [Americans United for Separation of Church and State], FFRF [Freedom From Religion Foundation], etc. AU is fearful that even one teacher somewhere might teach kids the truth about evolution — that it’s a belief not confirmed by observational science.
He concludes with this:
So, grab that bull by its horns and enjoy a delicious steak if you desire. And as we would say in Australia: “Starve the Lizards and Stone the Crows!” [What?] I’m thinking of suggesting to PETA that it start a “Save the Tapeworm” program!
So there you are. Hambo didn’t have enough adversaries before, so now he’s added PETA to the roster. We’d like to end this with some clever phrase about animals that might upset them both, but we can’t think of anything appropriate. Can you, dear reader?
Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.