This is a good example of … well, something at the creationist blog of the Discovery Institute: Gecko, Fairyfly, Manta Ray: Animals Push the Limits of the Possible. It has no author’s by-line.
Right up front, we note from their title that the creatures they mention “push the limits of the possible.” That means they’re not doing anything impossible, so whatever it is we’re about to hear about is consistent with natural law. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
If humans cannot yet achieve these feats with our best engineering knowledge, what are we to think of humble animals that make the semi-miraculous look routine?
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Humans can’t breathe in water, as fish do. Are we supposed to regard them as “semi-miraculous” and fall to our knees as we contemplate the wonder of it all? Let’s find out what they’re babbling about. They say:
A favorite animal for bio-inspired science, the gecko has earned more claims to fame beyond its ability to walk on walls and ceilings. (That trick, you remember, relies on a property of adhesion at the atomic level called the van der Waals force.) Yes, robot designers would love to imitate that feat. And think of the wannabee spider-kids that would be thrilled to open a holiday present to find a costume that would let them walk up walls like Spider Man. Fabrics with microscopic hairs imitating the gecko footpads might just make that possible someday (to the horror of moms).
Okay, what of it? They tell us:
But adhesion is not the only trick for these lizards popularized in car insurance commercials. Geckos can also walk on water! Believe it or not, geckos are among the few animals (including basilisk lizards and grebes) that can skitter across the surface of water without sinking.
Ooooooooooooh! Where are they going with this? Let’s find out:
Watch the video from The Conversation [link omitted], where Jasmine Nirody from the Rockefeller University in New York describes how her team figured out the unique way geckos solve this problem. … Who taught the gecko atomic theory? [It must be the intelligent designer — blessed be he!] … Show this video [link omitted] to your kids — that is, if you are prepared to have to buy a gecko for the holidays to satisfy their pleadings afterward. Indulge their curiosity about animals with superpowers while you can, because it might inspire them to become design scientists.
“Design scientists”? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! They continue:
How small could you make a flying animal? The fairyfly is so tiny, it matches the cross section of a human hair! It’s hard to believe you can pack enough cells in this insect (not a fly, but a kind of wasp). Wingless varieties average 0.139 mm in length. … How do they get so small? For one thing, their cells are smaller than normal, and everything is downsized to the extreme. Ooooooooooooh! … A diagram shows a fairyfly at comparable size to a paramecium, a one-celled animal. This is astonishing! How can this insect have enough space to pack organs and tissues, let alone wings?
Are you rolling on the floor, drooling in ecstasy? Not yet? Then click over there and read what they say about the filter-feeding of the manta ray. That will surely cause you to toss away your science books and embrace the other-worldly wisdom of the Discoveroids. Now we come to the end:
That’s all for now, but with millions of species of animals out there, all suited for their environment with ingenious mechanisms at the limit of physical possibilities, we don’t expect to run out of similar material soon.
There’s another material they won’t run out of either, but we’ll let you guess what it might be. Anyway, that’s the latest creation science from the Discoveroids. Are you impressed, dear reader?
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