Hambo Gets Fan Mail

We hope this thrills you, dear reader, as much as it did us. It’s from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. We found it at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: “I Don’t Know the Words to Describe” the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum.

We too don’t have the words to describe Hambo’s mind-boggling Creation Museum, and his exact replica of Noah’s Ark known as Ark Encounter. Well, we do, but they wouldn’t be appropriate here. Anyway, here are some excerpts from Hambo’s post, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

We receive so much mail and email from those who are excited about the Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter. It really gives us encouragement to know that so many in the younger generations want to stand boldly for the Lord.

Yes, it must be wonderful. Then he says:

I thought I’d share with you today a typical letter we were blessed to read recently from a child, as we receive so many like this on a weekly basis.

His post includes a picture of the hand-written letter. It’s difficult to judge, but it looks like it was written by a third-grade child. Then he gives us the letter’s contents in text we can copy. Here it is:

Dear Mr. Ken Ham,

Hello Mr. Ken! My family and I recently visited the Ark and Creation Museum. [Lucky kid!] I don’t know the words to use to describe how amazing this experience was! I thank God that there are still people like you! I want to thank you and everyone else who helped build the Ark and Creation Museum.

It gets to you, doesn’t it? The letter continues:

I also want to thank you for all the debates you have done! Wow! God has truly blessed you! I cannot thank you enough for all that you do. I know you have been persecuted throughout your life [Huh?] but God told us that would happen (2 Timothy 3:12). He also tells us to rejoice when we are persecuted in Matthew 5:11–12 (my favorite Scripture). So next time you are being persecuted remember to REJOICE!

That’s the letter. Then Hambo tells us:

Praise the Lord with us for all those children that we’re helping parents raise up to stand uncompromisingly on the Word of God beginning in Genesis. We certainly need more children like this.

And that’s all there is, except for some promotional stuff. Well, dear reader — did the letter thrill you? We’ll say only this: If Hambo allowed comments on his blog, we might get a more accurate picture of things. But if people are already motivated to visit Hambo’s museum and ark, maybe they all react like that.

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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14 responses to “Hambo Gets Fan Mail

  1. Michael Fugate

    Written by his dad – like that kid’s story who “went to heaven”.

  2. Then, Kid went to college and got a few biology and geology lessons.

  3. Our dear SC is uncharacteristically vain: “Well, we do, but they wouldn’t be appropriate here.”
    Inappropriate words probably don’t suffice to accurately describe Ol’Hambo’s enterprises either.

    “so many in the younger generations want to stand boldly for the Lord.”
    Yeah, Lord Poor Thing is soooo vulnerable and must be protected against bullies like me.

    “It gets to you, doesn’t it?”
    Yes, assuming you’re right that it was written by a kid (confirmed by Ol’Hambo btw), but not in the way Ol’Hambo envisaged.

    “I know you have been persecuted throughout your life [Huh?]”
    Come on, dear SC, don’t play the fool. You have been persecuting Ol’Hambo at least since you began your nice blog. It’s just that in creacrap language “persecution” doesn’t mean the same as in common English.

  4. It’s a wise child that can quote Timothy chapter and verse

  5. Is there any reason to think that this letter was written by a child?

  6. You have the word of Hambo himself. Is that not sufficient?

  7. “it looks like it was written by a third-grade child.”

    So it was actually written by a creationist high schooler?

  8. The biggest heretics do not comprehend their own heresy. Ham’s Heresy is that he believes that he gets to decide who is a Christian and who is not.

  9. I think Kenny boy has a trunk full of sock puppets…..

  10. Probably written by Hambo himself or one of his staff. Hard to believe a professional liar.

  11. Hard to say what certain people believe. I wonder whether they themselves know what it is that they believe. Or care.

  12. @TomS, if you read what Pnce actually said about evolution and creationism, he is very definite that he believes, but tells us nothing about exactly what he believes: https://paulbraterman.wordpress.com/2017/03/20/sahelanthropus-evolution-and-the-word-theory-what-mike-pence-really-said/

  13. Karl Goldsmith

    How can you be proud of denying a child a proper education like Ken Ham does?

  14. In “The Development Hypothesis”, Herbert Spencer wrote
    “This is one of the many cases in which men do not really believe, but rather believe they believe.”
    I am reminded of the statement of ID which says something like, “There is a better explanation than naturalistic evolution”, but does not describe what that “better explanation” would be.