The Hambo Way To Learn Science

This is great news for a world that needs more scientists. It’s from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. He just posted this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: Raising Up Creation Scientists. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

A recent article by a secular blogger [Gasp!] claimed that children who aren’t taught evolution won’t get that spark of interest that propels them to become scientists. Well, at Answers in Genesis we don’t believe that you need to be taught and believe evolution in order to be passionate about discovering more about what God has made.

That makes sense. Hambo has several people on his staff with science degrees of one kind or another, and they’re all flaming creationists. He says:

And this certainly bears true throughout history — many of the greatest scientists of all time were Christians who studied nature for God’s glory (and many of them lived at the time of Darwin)!

He’s right. We have an entry on that in Common Creationist Claims Confuted. If you go there, scroll down to “Great scientists of old were creationists.”

After that he tells us:

We want more scientists like that, and that’s why we hold our Explore Days and Explore 5-Day Summer Camp [link omitted] at the Creation Museum.

How wonderful! AIG is gonna crank out a whole bunch of Isaac Newtons — but the ones trained by Hambo will be doing alchemy and searching for bible codes, the things that wasted so much of Newton’s potentially productive years. Hambo continues:

Explore Days are full-day workshops focused on a specific branch or discipline of science. They include hands-on activities, visual presentations, and guest speakers. It’s exploratory science learning — taught through the lens of a biblical worldview.

Is there any other way to learn science? Let’s read on:

Each of our Explore Days (designed for students in grades 4–12) features one of these fascinating fields of study:

Eleven topics are listed, including biology, geology, and astronomy. Try to imagine, dear reader, learning those subjects “through the lens of a biblical worldview.” Here’s another excerpt:

We hope one of these Explore days will spark a lifelong interest and passion for science in your child. And if your young person wants more than just one day of interactive science, we invite them to join us for [some other Hambo programs].

Okay, that’s it. Hambo’s announcement is now all over the internet, reaching into every creationist home. Imagine the, ah… flood of young people eager to learn science who will attend Hambo’s programs. A glorious future awaits them as creation scientists.

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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26 responses to “The Hambo Way To Learn Science

  1. Derek Freyberg

    And they’ll all have blue eyes and gaze in fascination at a 3-D model of cyclopentanol with a microscope beside them. In other words, stock photo of “scientist” doing things no real scientist, or even science student, would.

  2. David Grisham

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    | | | | David Grisham

    Here’s an ancient carved figurine from Mexico that is dated long before the age of science and it shows a man ri… |



  3. Astronomy. What will all the kiddies think about all those galaxies that are 10^9 light years away? A whole bunch of them must have been there long before that Genesis 1:1 stuff.

  4. About the distance to the stars. With the recent Gaia mission, we are now, for the first time, getting direct parallax measurements to stars farther away than 10,000 light years.
    Of course the astronomers do not say much about that, they are interested in the new information, rather than confirming stuff that has been long accepted. But for those of us in the anti-anti-evolution front, this should be celebrated.

  5. Charles Deetz ;)

    Nothing like seeing a non-scientist brag about being sciency by touting anecdotal proofs: “many of the greatest scientists of all time were Christians.”

  6. Michael Fugate

    How many were YECs?

  7. How many were Catholics?

  8. “Well, at Answers in Genesis we don’t believe that you need to be taught and believe evolution in order to be passionate about discovering more about what God has made.”
    This makes sense indeed. What’s more, it applies to every single scientific discipline. Those who are about to become passionate about etc. etc. in the first place need to be taught about Ol’Hambo’s interpretations of some particular Holy Texts and nothing else. The genuine miracle is that people can have science degrees and still be passionate like that.

    “A glorious future awaits them as creation scientists.”
    And so does this highly enjoyable blog, so I can fully understand our dear SC supporting projects like this.

  9. @Abeastwood is incapable of grasping Ol’Hambo’s genius: “A whole bunch of them must have been there long before that ”

    Cue in Barry Setterfield, working at

    His work gained some attention in The Netherlands a couple of years ago:

    Of course my favourite Dutch website has joined the choir as well:

    “Barry Setterfield is een onderzoeker, die zich niet gebonden acht aan de heersende natuurkundige opvattingen en ook geen verplichtingen heeft aan academies, subsidie-verstrekkende instanties en financiers, maar die liever in vrijheid de uitkomsten van onderzoek aan de realiteit volgt, die gebaseerd zijn op werkelijke metingen en daaruit getrokken logische conclusies.”

    “BS (sorry, couldn’t resist this Nomen est Omen – FrankB) is a researchers, who doesn’t see himself as bound to dominant views in physics and neither is obliged to academies, sponsoring bodies and financiers, but prefers to follow freely the results of the research of reality, founded on genuine measurements en their logical conclusions .”

    Creacrap always promoting the Truth and nothing but the Eternal Never Changing Ever Lasting Absolutely Certain Truth of course can only be expected to rehash old stuff. The Fountain Head of Creacrap Wisdom itself already considered this idea 30 years ago.

    There is more of course, like this:

    Click to access rh_connpage1.pdf

    Ol’Hambo being the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else very generously has delegated the task of researching this field to the great Jason:

    So there you are – never say again that YECers are incapable of correcting themselves! This is exactly why Ol’Hambo organizes these camps. Supersmart kids must be trained now to advance research on the Distant Starlight Problem later. We can only admire him for so much profound foresight.

  10. …But…but…how could this team have learned their science without having been kids at Hambo’s Re-Education Laagers?

    Nasa’s New Horizons: Final commands given to distant probe

    After all, Hambo is himself the Ultimate Tool…

  11. On reflection, I think it more accurate to say that it is our intrepid Curmudgeon, who valiantly explores the dark, arid recesses of Creationism, whose mission it is to find the Ultimate Tool.

  12. Karl Goldsmith

    Hey you can also work for AiG call yourself a research scientist while not having published in a science journal since 2002.

  13. It’s not the creation scientists’ fault, Karl Goldsmith. The journals are all conspiring to suppress the TRVTH. They won’t publish about the Cosmic Aardvark either.

  14. “Well, at Answers in Genesis we don’t believe that you need to be taught and believe evolution in order to be passionate about discovering more about what God has made.”

    It’s probably true that you don’t need to be grounded in Darwinian evolution to do good organic chemistry or astrophysics, but natural explanations surely are more productive. I do hope Hambo includes all the violence his deity has made, like colliding galaxies, exploding stars, or closer to home, tsunamis, earthquakes, wildfires, pandemics, parasites, vicious predators, cancer, politicians, preachers. Yeah, I know he’s got “Answers”. None of them are correct, of course.

  15. @Scientist is an optimist: “I do hope Hambo includes all the violence his deity has made.”
    Of course, that’s what the Global Flood is about. Here the important Creacrap Law applies:

    Something good, praise the Lord.
    Something bad, blame Homo Sapiens.

  16. @Scientist
    We know that God has reasons for doing those awful things.
    What is interesting is that those reasons work as well to account for not telling us the whole truth. The Bible tells us:
    “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:” (2 Timothy 3:16)
    It does not tell us that Scripture is the truth, the wholw truth, and nothing but the truth. Just that it is “profitable” for “doctrine” (that is, “teaching”), etc. It is not profitable for plumbing, vaccinations, understanding nature, let alone simply telling us the truth about useless things like the age of the universe.

  17. Karl Goldsmith

    Just seen IDiots number two is a book yet to be released.

  18. @Karl Goldsmith
    I can barely wait for SC to open this up for discussion.

  19. Soon. I was away all morning.

  20. And this certainly bears true throughout history — many of the greatest scientists of all time were Christians who studied nature for God’s glory (and many of them lived at the time of Darwin)!

    So what? One doesn’t have to be an atheist to believe Darwinian evolution is the best available explanation for the origins of life as we know it today.

    As for the actual appearance of life, again, one doesn’t have to be a hell-bound God-denier to believe it occurred by natural processes, with no need for direct “design”–unless, of course, one chooses to believe in Genesis 1 as literally true, in which case one has to toss out virtually all of modern science.

    If one chooses to insist on a Designer, one is thrown back on You-Know-Who having established the initial conditions of the universe, including the laws of nature, so as to allow life to arise and survive on at least one planet. That, however, does not satisfy creationists, who demand that Genesis be taken as the direct Word of God Himself.

  21. How many professors in Bible colleges are anti-evolutionists only because they would immediately become unemployed and unemployable if they let their true thoughts be known? Indeed, how many of our favorite TV preachers have been trapped into saying what they do, for they would lose their only known means of support if they told you what they really think? Or your local beloved pastor?

  22. So, one, is there ever an article that Hambo writes that doesn’t also attempt to remove money from the faithful?

    And two, I give you Victor, Changing Earth Creationist. Your problem is that you believe in the First Principle of science, and it’s wrong. “What they imagined was that what matter is, its intrinsic properties, its essence (from the Latin verb to be – esse), does not change with age.”

    See, Victor espouses the view that matter is changing all the time, and that the first principle of science is wrong. So….”However, we reject any synthetic “evidence” that depends on the notion that matter is not changing itself as it ages. Why? Because such evidence is assumption dependent, contrived with the assumption that matter is not continually changing itself relationally.”

    So starlight and everything else apparently, is not an issue because “We confirm relational changes in all matter because no ancient galaxy shone with the light frequencies of modern atoms, and the differences increase with distance.
    What is visible in cosmic history only fits the grammatically words of biblical creation.”

    This is a fantasy built on an extensive foundation of BS, let me tell you.

  23. @GreenPoisonFrog
    See Omphalism.
    AKA Last Thursday-ism.
    How does the Changing Earth Creationist know that the Bible has not changed along with everything else? Or that that the true understanding?
    There is a old Calvin and Hobbes cartoon in which Calvin’s father is “explaining” how the world used to be black and white, before color photography. (I miss Calvin and Hobbes.)

  24. Here is the Calvin and Hobbes comic, “Calvin asks Dad about ‘old black and white photos'”

  25. If you read his loony posts, you’ll see that he believes that it’s all confirmed because if you read the bible, it conforms exactly to what we see in the heavens, hence, QED the bible is true.

  26. Mark Germano

    @TomS: My daughter once misinterpreted a school lesson about old photographs and believed that there was no color in the “olden days.” It took me a day to convince her otherwise.

    Bill Watterson makes me feel like I missed an amazing opportunity.