Hambo Says No Compromises!

We promise, dear reader, that this one will thrill you. It’s at at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

Hambo’s post is titled Human Cooperation — the Result of a Belief in Angry Gods? Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

How did humans start cooperating with one another? This question is an evolutionary puzzle, and the supposed evolution of religion is often considered an answer for how humans began working together. For example, a recent study suggests the belief in so-called “punitive gods” caused our evolutionary ancestors to begin cooperating, giving rise to large societies.

The “recent study” Hambo mentioned is in New Scientist: How belief in punitive gods may have helped large societies cooperate, about which he says:

This study argues that a belief in punitive gods (gods who would punish people for their choices) made people more willing to share their resources, thus uniting distant populations into a cohesive group. As religion evolved, it supposedly created an “us vs. them” mentality that gave rise to large societies.

That sounds reasonable, but as you might expect, Hambo doesn’t like it. He tells us:

This study should remind us of the incompatibility of evolution and [Hambo’s version of] Christianity. When many people think of evolution, they just think of one kind of animal turning into another [like Dracula], or perhaps the evolution of ape-like creatures into anatomically modern humans. [Gasp!] But evolutionary beliefs are much more than that.

What else is there? Hambo explains:

They are an entire worldview (a religion) that attempts to explain everything we see — including the supposed origin of religion and even God — without God.

Egad! Evolutionists must be insane! He continues:

Many Christians who embrace evolutionary ideas [several denominations do so] would reject the thought that religion or God evolved alongside humans. They would argue that God exists outside of his creation and that religion, at least the true religion that worships the one true God, was God’s invention, not ours.

Hambo is probably referring to the National Center for Science Education’s list of Statements from Religious Organizations that support evolution. He imagines that those denominations are destined for the Lake of Fire unless they wake up and do things his way. Let’s read on:

But really these Christians are inconsistently picking and choosing which parts of evolution they want to believe and which parts they want to reject. [Huh?] Theistic evolutionists want to believe cosmological, geological, and biological evolution (because of what secular scientists teach) — but stop short from accepting studies that suggest the idea that God and religion, in general, are simply the result of evolution. But this is illogical.

And we know how Hambo dislikes anything that is illogical. Now he explains why theistic evolutionists are all wrong:

The same scientists who declare that humans evolved from ape-like ancestors say civilization, religion, morality, and everything else must also have a naturalistic, evolutionary origin. Why believe some of what these scientists claim, and then arbitrarily reject other findings?

Yeah — in for a penny, in for a pound. Here’s more:

God’s Word is clear: God created everything fully formed and functioning in six, literal 24-hour days only a few thousand years ago. [Right!] There’s no room for millions of years or evolutionary ideas in Scripture. To say otherwise is to ignore the clear testimony of both the Old and New Testaments, as well as the church’s history. Yes, evolution is man’s attempt to justify being his own god. [That’s horrible!]

And now we come to the end:

We need to reject the entire evolutionary worldview. [Yes!] It’s utterly incompatible with the Bible. Instead, we need to trust the eyewitness account of our Creator who was actually present and has revealed to us in his Word what happened in the past.

That was very inspirational — don’t you agree, dear reader?

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18 responses to “Hambo Says No Compromises!

  1. For those of us who are uninformed with regards to theology, who exactly did God reveal the creation week’s events to so he or she could write all that stuff down??? Anyone??

  2. Many Christians who embrace evolutionary ideas [several denominations do so] would reject the thought that religion or God evolved alongside humans. They would argue that God exists outside of his creation and that religion, at least the true religion that worships the one true God, was God’s invention, not ours.

    Nobody, but nobody, of whom I’m aware claims that God evolved alongside humans–just our conception of God.

    God’s Word is clear: God created everything fully formed and functioning in six, literal 24-hour days only a few thousand years ago. [Right!] There’s no room for millions of years or evolutionary ideas in Scripture. To say otherwise is to ignore the clear testimony of both the Old and New Testaments, as well as the church’s history. Yes, evolution is man’s attempt to justify being his own god. [That’s horrible!]

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! There are plenty of sincerely religious Christians who’d join me in ridiculing this nonsense. How does the church’s history prove anything about the age of the earth? And how, exactly, does believing in an old earth (as even some creationists do) or in Darwinian evolution justify some hypothetical attempt to make humanity its own god?

    We need to reject the entire evolutionary worldview. [Yes!] It’s utterly incompatible with the Bible. Instead, we need to trust the eyewitness account of our Creator who was actually present and has revealed to us in his Word what happened in the past.

    And we know God was actually present at the creation of the universe? Because it says so in Scripture, which we know is the Word of God because, well, because!

  3. Ok Moses is attributed to have written Genesis. Good to know I guess.

  4. There is one suggestion that says that the knowledge of Adam was passed down to the generations orally until Moses wrote it down.
    Another one is that Moses was learned in the wisdom of the Egyptians.
    And, of course, there is idea that the Pentateuch was dictated by God to Moses.

  5. What expiation does he have for all the false religions? For those people who had no way of hearing the revelations of the prophets, let alone the Gospel. What were they to do, without divine guidance?

  6. Does Hambone have any explanation for the obvious fact that his alleged universal creator managed to convey his truths somewhat differently to various people around the world, thus creating so tens of thousands of religions? It seems to me more likely that each of the various groups of people made up their own gods.

  7. “How did humans start cooperating with one another? This question is an evolutionary puzzle …”
    BWAHAHAHAHA!
    Solved by Piotr Kropotkin as early as the 1860’s. Human cooperation especially appears in harsh conditions like Siberia. There cooperation is essential. Individuals that don’t die so quickly that they don’t produce fertile offspring.
    The same probably applies to the largest chunk of human history (yeah, I know that Ol’Hambo doesn’t accept more than 6000 years), when Homo Sapiens lived in small hunter-gatherer groups, ie well before “large societies”. The study Ol’Hambo refers to is not about evolution, it’s a combination of (gasp! our dear SC will be shocked) sociological and historical research.

    “that attempts to explain everything we see without God.”
    Yeah. It’s called science. Je n’ai besoin de cette hypothese.

  8. @Beastwood: and think of all those poor Amero-Indians, who remained totally unaware of the blessings of christianity (like genocide – I refer to Bruce) for another 1500 years, because the son of Ol’Hambo’s god forgot to mention them when preaching!

  9. Eddie Janssen

    All those who do not worship the Christian God were all descendants of the people of Babel (of tower fame). They knew the right God but choose to worship other Gods (like the Israelites in the desert but they were lucky to be corrected by God en Moses). Plus ofcourse they lived in a post Fall world. They were evil!

    Ken Ham has it easy.

  10. The Tower of Babel dates from 2242 BC. All of the people following false gods are descendants of Babel of 2242 BC? Including the Americas and Australia?

  11. Eddie Janssen

    I took (the Dispersion of) Babel as a symbol for all the people who descended from Noah in the first 106 years after the Flood.

  12. @TomS, Henry Morris, part of whose mantle Ken Ham inherits, proved in The Beginning of the World that non-whites are descended from Ham, and their accomplishments limited as a result. Answers in Genesis has a compilation of how all the nations are related. Javan (more properly Yawan) is not only ancestor of the Ionian Greeks, as he should be, but of the people of Java and Japan.

    “The idea that the Pentateuch was dictated by God to Moses.” So that the Pentateuch was dictated, whereas the other books in the Bible were merely inspired. This is traditional Jewish belief, but does anyone know when and where it first arose, and with what justification?

  13. We must remember that Hambo has multiple degrees from MSU and thus can explain anything. M*** S*** U*

  14. I won’t waste my time to read Ham’s nonsense I have read 1000x. So if any of you have done that, would you mind filling me in? With Michael Behe out with another book misrepresenting evolution, has Ham mentioned him lately? In particular, does he include him among those evil “Theistic Evolutionists” who “pick and choose” (Behe accepts 4 billion years of common descent), or does he give him a pass, because he’s a member of the same authoritarian anti-science cult?

  15. @Paul Braterman
    BTW, as I am sure you know, the identificaton of “Javan” with Ionian Greeks is well attested. For example, the same is identification is true in Sanskrit, “yavana” (pronounced “yawana” in ancient Sanskrit) means “Ionian”=”Greek”.
    The others are mere flights of fancy. For example, the name “Japan” is a modern Western rendering of a Chinese dialect name for Japan with no ancient relationship with “Javan”.

  16. @TomS; Indeed, my point was Ham’s failure to distinguish (and perhaps he himself does not recognise the distinction) between a reasoned assignment (as with the Ionians) and his own arbitrary imaginings, presumably based on nothing more than the first two letters of a name as they happened to be written in English

  17. Michael Fugate

    As Eric L points out the conception of God clearly evolves in the Bible and has continued to do so ever since. There are as many concepts of God as there are people.

  18. Yeah, but as we all know Ol’Hambo is “the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.”
    So his god must be the correct one. All the others are phoneys.