Charles Darwin and Jack the Ripper

As you know, creationists are always claiming that some of the worst people in history have been influenced by Charles Darwin. Discoveroid David Klinghoffer, for one, has blogged at various time attempting to link Darwin to Hitler, Stalin, Mao Tse-tung, Dr. Josef Mengele, the Columbine shootings, Charles Manson, and the Ft. Hood Massacre. But not Jack the Ripper. Why?

Actually, we’ve been surprised that creationists never claim Darwin was the Ripper. It’s true that Darwin died in 1882, and the Ripper’s crimes were later in the 1880s, but a trivial matter like that shouldn’t stop them. Lurking in the creationist mind should be the suspicion that late in life (six years after the alleged date of his death) Darwin would sneak out of his home, prowl the streets of London, and commit the crimes attributed to Jack the Ripper. At minimum, they should be screaming that Darwin influenced the Ripper. But we’ve never seen it done — at least not yet.

Because we know creationists so well, we’re always alert to the possibility of a Darwin-Ripper connection. With that in mind, we were drawn to this article in The Sun, a UK tabloid: Jack the Ripper’s identity may finally have been revealed as a Polish barber, claim scientists using DNA from scene. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

JACK the Ripper who stalked London more than 130 years ago was a demon barber with a taste for human flesh, according to startling new scientific evidence. [That sounds like Darwin.] A blood-covered shawl found at one of the murder scenes is believed to contain DNA from both butchered victim Catherine Eddowes and the world’s most infamous serial killer.

Ah, evidence! Then we’re told:

Researchers at Liverpool John Moores University conducted genetic tests on the sample long-thought to have belonged to the Ripper himself, who they now believe to be Pole Aaron Kosminski. [Not Darwin?] … The bloody shawl is linked to the double murder of victims three and four, Elizabeth Stride and Eddowes, on the night of Sept. 30, 1888 in Whitechapel.

Busy night for the Ripper. Here’s more, about all the victims:

All were murdered in the most brutal fashion imaginable around the Whitechapel area. Their bodies were utterly mutilated, many of them being disembowelled. Chapman’s uterus was taken, Eddowes had her uterus and a kidney removed and her face mutilated, and Kelly’s body was completely destroyed and her face hacked away.

We’re going to skip a lot, but we can’t leave this out. They briefly describe seven people who were suspects, including two doctors:

Thomas Neill Cream – doctor found guilty of poisoning many women and hanged in 1892

and

Thomas Heynes Cutbush – doctor with syphilis in the brain known to have stabbed multiple women

The doctor’s name is “Cutbush.” No way we could have made that up.

We don’t need to excerpt any more because you’re all going to click over there to devour the story. But we’re left with a big mystery. Why isn’t Darwin’s name ever mentioned in connection with the Ripper and his evil deeds? Ah well, even if it hasn’t happened yet, we’re certain that it will. It’s the creationist way.

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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10 responses to “Charles Darwin and Jack the Ripper

  1. Jack the Ripper the most famous one? Hmmmmm….. all Therapy? fans have heard of Jeffrey Dahmer.

    Here comes a girl with perfect teeth
    I bet she won’t smile at me
    I know how Jeffrey Dahmer feels
    Lonely, lonely

    etc.

  2. Hey!! Following the Curmudgeon’s excellent thoughts supposing that the creationists haven’t yet yet written about the obvious link between Charles Darwin and Jack the Ripper, it occurred to me that the headless horseman of Sleepy Hollow, though preceding The Origin of Species, was likely an evolutionist as well. For instance, Ichabod Crane never found a crocoduck and the horseman was a vertebrate paleontology professor at his day job. Just sayin’

  3. The Dysovary Institute has long suspected a sinister link between Darwin and the Ripper murders. See their article on Anthropophagous Tortoises :

    It is known that the Head Office of the Darwintern was relocated to the Galapagos Islands sometime in the decade following the death of Karl Darwin in 1882. It is assumed that the notorious tortoises were transported at that time to DC Head Office. However, some researchers have noted that the unsolved Whitechapel Murders of 1888, widely attributed to ‘Jack the Ripper,’ in fact bear all the classic hallmarks of an anthropophagous tortoise feeding-frenzy.

  4. Another Curmudgeon classic. I wish I’d made the connection between Darwin and the Ripper. Last I heard, Chelsea Clinton was supposed to be the inspiration for those gruesome late Victorian slayings.

    As for Thomas Cutbush, I believe he did his grisly business in outer London, which gave the name to a popular working-class song at the time: ‘Cutbush City Limits’. I remember doing the dance when I was a kid at adult parties. No-one raised an eyebrow over the title, but then, it was the seventies.

  5. The Sun:
    “JACK the Ripper who stalked London more than 130 years ago was a demon barber with a taste for human flesh, according to startling new scientific evidence.”

    Sounds a bit like Sweeney Todd. I wonder if the play was The Sun’s inspiration for their story. Whatever sells papers, that’s their motto.

  6. Oops. Messed up the tags.

    [*Voice from above*] I stretched forth my mighty hand and — behold! All is well.

  7. You guys are pikers! THIS is the ultimate Darwin conspiracy!

    https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Cutting_Edge_Ministries#School_shootings_and_the_giant_hexagram

    Many of the recent crimes in the United States, nay the world, can be LINKED, linked I tell you, by Spirit-infused minds to form the hexagon of the Devil centered on, you got it, the Galapagos Islands! (h/t/ Encyclopedia of American Loons)

  8. Adam Rutherford thinks the identificatgion is garbage; see https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2019/03/19/adam-rutherford-calls-the-jack-the-ripper-identification-a-joke/#comment-1716935

    There’s a back-story. The Sun is fierely pro-Brexit, the case for Brexit is based on dislike of European immigrants, and many of these immigrants are Polish

  9. According to Wikipedia, Aaron Kosminski was a Polish Jew.