AIG Says Aliens or the Bible, Not Both

This comes from the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. Their headline is National Alien Abduction Day, and it has no author’s by-line. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

March 20 is Alien Abduction Day [What?], so beware of green lights (except at intersections), UFOs (drones don’t count), and ETs (unless they just want to borrow your phone to call home). You might want to avoid Roswell, New Mexico, too. It’s better safe than sorry, after all, considering all the other alien abductions in history.

Cute beginning. There’s no creationism yet, but be patient — it’ll show up. Wikipedia has nothing on this “holiday,” but we found a light-hearted article at Fox News: Alien Abduction Day Arrives, But Will Little Green Men? Okay, back to Hambo’s website. They say:

It’s no newsflash that culture loves good alien stories, as they’re often entertaining movies and frequent blockbuster hits like Marvin Martian, Aliens, Star Wars, Avatar, and other sci-fi and superhero stories abound with alien characters, plots, and themes. But while many of these stories seem like harmless entertainment, there’s an evolutionary deception behind the very idea of extraterrestrial life. [Gasp!]

We didn’t have to wait long for the creationism. Then they tell us:

People who reject God believe — or desperately hope — that there is life outside of earth. [BWAHAHAHAHAHA!] If there isn’t, then human life is special. If human life is special, then naturalistic evolution is false [Groan!], for molecules-to-man evolution predicates that all life is random. Even those who would hold to God-directed evolution believe that we evolved from random processes and that we should probably find life evolving from random processes elsewhere.

Are you following this? Hambo’s creation scientists tell us that aliens are essential to evolution, and without aliens, Darwinists are just a bunch of fools! So that’s the deal — it’s one or the other. ICR AIG continues:

Yet, no one is really in any danger of an alien abduction [Why not?] A biblical worldview reveals no room for extraterrestrial life. [Oh?] The Bible tells us that his creation is for human inhabitants [scripture references] and that Jesus came to earth to die for the sins of the world [scripture references]. If there were creatures outside earth who needed the gospel, Jesus would have made us aware of such in the Great Commission [scripture reference].

That was an ark-load of evidence. By now it should be absolutely clear that there are no aliens. For those who may still have doubts they say:

But what if other planets support life and those inhabitants sin? Couldn’t Jesus just go die for them too? He could, but that’s not what the Bible says he did. The Bible says that Jesus came once to die [scripture reference] and that after his resurrection he ascended to heaven to sit on the right-hand side of his Father [scripture reference].

Okay, that settles it! Now we come to the end:

The Bible also tells us that while the earth was made to be inhabited [scripture reference], other celestial bodies were made for signs, seasons, days, and years (Genesis 1:14), not for other forms of life. For more arguments against the existence of aliens, check out what AiG astronomy researcher Dr. Danny Faulkner has to say: [links omitted].

That was the clearest prediction we’ve seen yet about finding aliens out there. The bible says there aren’t any, and that settles it. If you disagree, then you’re doomed to spend eternity in the Lake of Fire.

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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17 responses to “AIG Says Aliens or the Bible, Not Both

  1. molecules-to-man
    This one praticularly gets to me.
    What are they denying? Atoms? That our bodies are made up of molecules? That we eat, drink, beathe and metabolize molecules? That Human reproduction involves the growth from a material zygote made up of molecules, according to the laws of chemsitry and biology?

  2. Michael Fugate

    A column by AiG too crazy for anyone to claim ownership, who knew it was possible?

  3. Someone should point out to the AIG mystery writer that whether there are other planets with life forms has no bearing on the overwhelming evidence that evolution occurs on this planet. Personally, I think the probability that some form of life evolved on another planet is fairly high, given the large number of other planets. I think the probability that we will ever be able to tell whether that is true is fairly small, given the overwhelming size and age of the universe.

  4. molecules to man…..it looks like Kentucky is targeting modern medicine now.
    Kentucky Governor Says He Exposed His 9 Kids To Chickenpox Instead Of Vaccinating Them
    Gov. Matt Bevin thinks the government shouldn’t mandate vaccines because “This is America.”
    Smallpox will reappear in Kentucky first apparently. Thanks governor..

  5. Dave Luckett

    Of course, when alien life is actually found – and the odds are good – there will follow a two-step process:

    1) “This isn’t really life”. Rather as mere change in allele is not evolution, naturally selected or not.

    2) “The Bible actually predicts this, anyway”. Rather like the Bible predicted a spherical Earth because God sits on the dome of the sky, or jet stream winds because it says the winds circle to where they arose.

    And they will proceed on their merry way.

  6. I’m guessing that the first signs of life will be of something so different from life as we know it, that there will be controversy about whether to call it life. Consider the status of viruses and of prions.

  7. Yaaaawwwwnnnnn!!

  8. “Are you following this?”
    Yes, but that doesn’t mean that I can detect any logic in that paragraph. What a mess. Faithful followers of this nice blog since long are aware of the ratrace to a non-existing bottom Ol’Hambo and the IDiots from Seattle are involved with. This paragraph shows that AIG has taken over the lead, albeit with a small margin.
    This new development apparantly has baffled our dear SC, despite all his expertise on creacrap:

    “ICR continues”
    No, it’s AIG that deserves credit.

  9. AiG — or ICR: who the hell cares?– assures us: “…no-one is really in any danger of an alien abduction.”

    Yes, that’s all silly nonsense, fuelled by secular pop movies and television, underpinned with covert evolutionary agendas. Stick to what we know, like demonic possession and general satanic influences.

  10. @ChrisS is indifferent: “who the hell cares?”
    In this particular case I do – one of the most entertaining aspects of creacrap (including IDiocy) is who can write the worst nonsense. At the moment AIG is winning (of course there is no finish).

  11. Thanks, FrankB. Changed it to AIG.

  12. It would be great if aliens are found and like a delicate bubble religion busts and vanishes! No such luck the lying kings will just find some reason or excuse that allows their religion to show aliens are OK! And they will then expand the hate & bigotry to include them too!

  13. AIG: “If there were creatures outside earth who needed the gospel, Jesus would have made us aware of such in the Great Commission …”

    Apparently Ham doesn’t consider the possibility that the aliens wouldn’t need the gospel because they had no Fall, thus remaining sinless and having no need of Jesus to come and die for them.

    In effect, Ham seems to assume that pretty much any intelligent species anywhere in the universe would inevitably become sinful (but since there is no Biblical evidence of any extraterrestrial Incarnations to “save” them, they can’t exist at all). If EVERYONE EVERYWHERE would ALWAYS undergo a Fall, what does that tell us about the quality of God’s handiwork? Can the Creator consistently blame the “free will” of his creatures if things NEVER work out as he supposedly intended?

  14. If we’re talking about “intelligent” life out there, totally unrelated to us, from a different environment, with a different history, then why should we expect to be able to understand one another? How would we be able to detect a different kind of “intelligence”? Would they be able to detect our own kind of “intelligence”?

  15. Whatever anyone says about “what if” in interpeting the Bible, just remember that that is a private interpretaton of a hypothetical which is not hinted at in the Bible.

    And it might serve as a caution about the worth of idle speculations about what the Bible means, when these speculations are contrary to what evidence that we do have.

  16. Michael Fugate

    Great quote from this article https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-019-00872-w on The Workshop and the World: What Ten Thinkers Can Teach Us About Science and Authority Robert P. Crease W. W. Norton (2019)

    “The founding fathers told us to create legislation, not to legislate creation!”

  17. Dave Luckett | 20-March-2019 at 8:48 pm |
    Of course, when alien life is actually found – and the odds are good – there will follow a two-step process:
    1) “This isn’t really life”. Rather as mere change in allele is not evolution, naturally selected or not.
    2) “The Bible actually predicts this, anyway”. Rather like the Bible predicted a spherical Earth because God sits on the dome of the sky, or jet stream winds because it says the winds circle to where they arose.
    And they will proceed on their merry way.

    You forgot (3) It’s all a hoax dreamed up by those God-denying secularist scientists to support their naturalistic presuppositions!