Self-Published Genius #88: Find the Truth

Today we have a fascinating addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses, where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.

The press release is titled Ronald H. Qualls’s new book “Evolution vs. Creationism” is a detailed examination of a myriad of sources illuminating one of the most fundamental questions of humanity. It was issued by Cision PRWeb, which says it’s “the leader in online news distribution and publicity.” Here are some excerpts from the press release, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

Ronald H. Qualls, an administrative specialist and former personnel supervisor in several countries around the globe [Impressive credentials!], has completed his book “Evolution vs. Creationism”: an intriguing look at one of the most provocative subjects in all of modern theological and scientific thought.

You’re hooked, aren’t you? The press release quotes the brilliant author:

Ronald shares, “I wrote my book, ‘Evolution vs. Creationism,’ to assist many persons I have met, in deciding for themselves, if the available writings on these subjects clearly express the Truth!”

Wowie — the book will help you decide if available writings express the Truth! Isn’t that what you’ve been looking for all your life? Well, here it is! The quote from the author goes on:

“I believe that my personal research to emphasize my own belief in God as the Author, Builder, and Constructor of all that we see, day to day and moment by moment! [Something is missing there.] I hope that all readers will pursue their own searches for the truth!”

The author’s style really reaches out and grabs you, doesn’t it? The press release continues:

Published by New York City-based Page Publishing, Ronald H. Qualls’s book is an in-depth exploration of the divergences and commonalities of evolution and creationism.

Ooooooooooooh! The “divergences and commonalities” of evolution and creationism.

Hey — they just gave us the name of the publisher. We already have the press release, but as you know, we need to make sure that this book qualifies for our collection. Was it published by a vanity press? We found the website for the publisher — Page Publishing. They don’t come right out and say it, but their website leaves no doubt — they’re a vanity publisher. They even say:

In most instances, books we distribute through Apple iTunes or Amazon will result in 70% net revenue to the author (with Apple/Amazon keeping the other 30% as their sales commission). Accordingly, if your book is available on these platforms for a retail price of $9.95, you would receive net revenue of $6.97 from Apple or Amazon, and remit only 20 cents to us.

Okay, the book clearly qualifies for our collection! The press release doesn’t say much else — except how wonderful the publisher is, so we’ll leave them and go searching for the book at Amazon.

Aha — we found it! Here it is: Evolution Vs Creationism The price is only $12.95 in paperback and it’s an impressive 118 pages long! There are no reviews yet, but that’s okay. You can be the first!

Amazon has a “look inside” feature for this book. Go ahead, take a look. You’ll see the same style of writing that we saw in the press release. We can’t give you any excerpts, because Amazon’s format doesn’t let us cut and paste.

Okay, dear reader — you know you want this book, so go ahead and get it. And when you place your order, tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya.

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Self-Published Genius #88: Find the Truth

  1. christine janis

    “Many of the scientific community, too, states that fifty million, or even one hundred million, years are not enough time for the earth’s diversity to have formed by chance —–”

    Well, he’s right there. Certainly not enough time, but 3.8 billion years apparently is.

  2. Michael Fugate

    I wonder how he came up with such a novel title – no doubt the rest of the book suffers from the same lack of imagination…

  3. Michael Fugate

    If one were doing anything but Christian apologetics, then “creation” wouldn’t be equivalent to the first few chapters of Genesis. It would explore multiple gods and religions, but that would require an intellect that would probably lead away from a simple dichotomy and toward evolution.

  4. He tells us that until 1492, people were afraid of sailing over the edge of the world.

    You learn something new every day!

  5. Yeah, those people in the Dark Ages were really stupid!
    I wonder what they”re going to call our years.

  6. Ronald: “I hope that all readers will pursue their own searches for the truth!”
    Our dear SC: “The author’s style really reaches out and grabs you, doesn’t it?”
    His style grabs me so much that I’ve decided to pursue my own search for the truth on my own indeed, ie without the author’s book.

    @TomS wonders: “what they”re going to call our years”
    Evilutionist Ages.

  7. Michael Fugate

    Snark Ages?
    Quark Ages?
    everyone in my neighborhood seems to have a dog… Bark Ages?

  8. Since those other 14,000 or so books with the exact same title have failed to make much impression on the evolution/creation debate, Ronny HQ’s “personal” take on the subject is going to have to do some pretty heavy lifting — and this in just 118 pages.

  9. I’m impressed. This is quality creationism. I’ll save my money so I can add this to my creationism library. Right after I get that BMW i8 and the beach house on St Barts.

  10. I made the mistake of reading the preview on amazon. Now I have a headache. The words are English and the parts of speech are mostly there but it’s hard to make sense of most of it. I have a headache.

  11. @ColinR suffers: “I have a headache.”
    Creacrap and sense don’t go together. Keep that in mind the next time you read creacrap!

  12. Put your coffee down and strap in your bellies, gentlemen:
    “The ‘big bang’ theory – a theory of cosmology holding that the expansion of the universe which began with a gigantic explosion between 12 and 20 light-years ago. [yes there’s a full stop here]”

    R-right.

  13. @Draken
    Normally publishers’ blurb is polished to a high gloss, yet I notice that the second sentence of his puff on the Amazon website likewise contains no main verb. Perhaps he just doesn’t like them. Or else he hopes that we’ll read everything more than once while trying to puzzle out his meaning.

  14. BTW, among other errors, the Big Bang was not “gigantic”.

  15. Ronald shares, “I wrote my book, ‘Evolution vs. Creationism,’ to assist many persons I have met, in deciding for themselves, if the available writings on these subjects clearly express the Truth!”

    Ah, yes. The Truth!

    The sort of people who will buy this book will buy anything it says without bothering to read any other “available writings.”