At the Edge of the Flat Earth

This is the long-awaited follow-up to what we posted last year at this time: Coming Soon: Ascent to the Firmament. We couldn’t make that journey as planned, because we couldn’t obtain a balloon adequate for the task.

Nevertheless, we persevered, and now that the mission has been accomplished, we are pleased to give you a full account. This announcement is being made just in time for 01 April 2019. We wouldn’t try to fool you — [*cough, cough*] — about something as important as this.

The illustration above this post is from Wikipedia’s article on the Firmament. It’s an accurate picture of what it looks like where the dome of the firmament meets the edge of the flat Earth — just as described in the bible. Behold, Genesis 1, verses 6 though 8 (King James version, of course):

And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.

And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

Further, in Genesis 1, verses 14 though 17:

And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:

And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.

And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth

We are now able to inform you that everything is exactly as it was written. Your Curmudgeon has been there, and he knows!

You are no doubt wondering how we were able to make such an epic journey, when so many others have tried and failed. The answer is that we rode on the back of the Cosmic Aardvark. His mighty wings carried us to the Edge and brought us back again. And because this report is being given to you just in time for 01 April, now you know The Truth.

We conclude with our traditional guarantee of quality:

Self-Proving Truth Certificate

Everything written by the Curmudgeon in this blog is true. The presence of this Certificate is your proof. Our logic is undeniable.

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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9 responses to “At the Edge of the Flat Earth

  1. Reading the Curmudgeon for some years, the conclusion must be that, for creationists, every day is April 1st. Eternal April!

  2. One lesson from this is the ludicrous selectivity of creationists. They make a whole career out of some verses in Genesis (Adam & Eve, the Flood, etc.) and ignore others.

  3. AFAIK there is nothing in the Bible which says that the Bible is truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

  4. @TomS
    What difference would it make what the Bible claimed, anyway, to the highly credulous?

    The movie (and television series) ‘Fargo’ carried a disclaimer to the effect that the events portrayed were based on actual events. Amazingly, some people took that at face value; or at least entertained the possibility of: Gee, I wonder if…? Apparently, there was even a documentary made about a Japanese girl who went to North Dakota, looking for the money that Steve Buscemi buries in the snow in the film. But who knows? Maybe the documentary was “invented” too.

    The point is: it matters not what the Bible does or doesn’t say. Evangelicals will interpret it how they see fit, and then rationalize their response accordingly. Taking a contrary position to the Bible is already arguing on the ‘vangies’ terms.

  5. Michael Fugate

    All one need in considering believers’ abilities of interpretation is to keep track of Jesus’ return – clueless leading the clueless.

  6. Not sure if it has been mentioned here before, but there is an interesting documentary about Flat Earthers on Netflix entitled Behind the Curve. One of the best segments covers two experiments set up by the some of the leading FE folks to demonstrate the lack of Earth’s curvature, and the results were spot-on with what would be expected for a curved surface. Lots of splainin’ on those results.

  7. Techreseller

    Wait! What? There is no Cosmic Aardvark? SC did not really travel to the firmament and stick his head out (with deep space gear on I hope)? What am I to believe now? I am lost on this vale of tears called Earth.

  8. Open Letter to Flat Earthers

    What is on the other side? Are we on the top or the bottom? Please find a way to go there immediately. Do not return without evidence of what’s up.

    See you on the flip side!

    P.S. Down Under doesn’t count.

  9. A major difficulty in learning about the belief in a Flat Earth is question of seriousness. There are cross-accusations of one group against another. Is a celebrity just interested in drawing attention?