This is the long-awaited follow-up to what we posted last year at this time: Coming Soon: Ascent to the Firmament. We couldn’t make that journey as planned, because we couldn’t obtain a balloon adequate for the task.
Nevertheless, we persevered, and now that the mission has been accomplished, we are pleased to give you a full account. This announcement is being made just in time for 01 April 2019. We wouldn’t try to fool you — [*cough, cough*] — about something as important as this.
The illustration above this post is from Wikipedia’s article on the Firmament. It’s an accurate picture of what it looks like where the dome of the firmament meets the edge of the flat Earth — just as described in the bible. Behold, Genesis 1, verses 6 though 8 (King James version, of course):
And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.
And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.
And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
Further, in Genesis 1, verses 14 though 17:
And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.
And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth
We are now able to inform you that everything is exactly as it was written. Your Curmudgeon has been there, and he knows!
You are no doubt wondering how we were able to make such an epic journey, when so many others have tried and failed. The answer is that we rode on the back of the Cosmic Aardvark. His mighty wings carried us to the Edge and brought us back again. And because this report is being given to you just in time for 01 April, now you know The Truth™.
We conclude with our traditional guarantee of quality:
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