Creationist Wisdom #952: Scientists Are Fools

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in one of our best sources — the Daily Mining Gazette of Houghton, Michigan (population 7,708) in the northwestern portion of that state’s Upper Peninsula. The letter is titled God controls climate of Earth. The newspaper used to have a comments feature, but we don’t see it today.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is Louis. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!

It seems the more degrees you have, the greater risk that you will fall for the devil’s lies.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, those pompous scientists and intellectuals are all doing the devil’s work. Louis says:

Al Gore came up with global warming. The day he introduce [sic] it in Washington, it was so cold everything was closed. I’ll bet the Lord thought, “I’ll show you who is in charge” ( I know he has a sense of humor.)

Yahweh has a sense of humor — and Louis knows about it. After that revelation, he tells us:

Since Al Gore couldn’t prove that, the name was changed to climate change. This is just one hoax the Democrats are trying to get you to believe. Evolution is another. [Gasp!]

Your Curmudgeon gets depressed about American politics when he sees stuff like that. According to Louis, the Democrat party is pro-science, and the Republican party offers nothing but the bible and creationism. How did things get so crazy? Anyway, Louis continues:

The Lord said to Job, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me if you know so much. Do you know how it’s [sic] dimensions were determined and who did the surveying? What supports it’s [sic] foundations and who laid it’s [sic] cornerstone? Do you know the laws of the universe and how the heavens influence the earth? Can you shout to the clouds and make it rain? Can you make the lightning appear and cause it to strike as you decide it? Who gives you intuition and instinct?”

That’s Job 38, but it’s definitely not the King James version, which you can read here. Regardless of translations, the lesson we’re being taught by Louis is that we know nothing. Keep that in mind, dear reader, as we read on:

Do you remember the group of scientists who sailed to the South Pole to check out how much ice had melted? They got stuck in the ice for three months and had to be air lifted out.

We don’t remember that, but it’s a great lesson in humility. Scientists are all idiots — especially those who sail to the South Pole. The last part of Louis’ letter begins with a lower-case letter and ends with a bit of scripture:

do you really think the God who created you and everything you see on this earth, can’t maintain it? Think again! [Bible quote.]

Wait! We were going to omit the bible quote, but we’ve changed our mind. Here it is:

“Oh Lork [sic], how majestic is your name in all the earth.” (Psalms 8)

We don’t know if “Lork” is a typo or blasphemy. Or maybe it’s from a bible translation we’ve never seen. Anyway, that was a powerful letter! If you’re one of those hell-bound climate change people, you have a lot of thinking to do. Listen to Louis, dear reader, he knows what he’s talking about.

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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14 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #952: Scientists Are Fools

  1. And here I thought that those scientists who tried to go to the South Pole fell off the edge of the Earth.

  2. I prefer this letter published in the same paper under Letters to the Editor heading:
    http://www.mininggazette.com/opinion/letters-to-the-editor/2019/04/cherrypicking-scripture/

  3. When I opened Louis Jean’s letter for deeper study, I got an ad “Instantly Check Your Writing” by Grammarly. That’s what I call targeted advertising!

  4. Michael Fugate

    One wonders if the author has ever gone to a doctor or worked for a living? Didn’t Jesus say God would take care of you like the birds and the flowers?

  5. SC:
    “…the Democrat party is pro-science, and the Republican party offers nothing but the bible and creationism. How did things get so crazy?”

    How did things get so crazy? Because Republicans like you and me stayed quiet when we should have spoken out. We so feared our country becoming a socialist state that we dared not say anything critical of Republicans lest the Democrats take over. I, for one, have seen the error of my ways. I no longer identify as a Republican, and unless I personally know a candidate, will vote for Democrats until we have more balance in our state house as well as the federal government. Gerrymandering and voter suppression are huge problems for democracy, and the Republicans in the US Senate being eunuchs for Trump allow him to act as a dictator.

    Having Donald Trump as president makes a more extreme backlash vote in 2020 more likely. However, even if Sanders or Warren were to be elected, it’s very unlikely his or her more radical proposals would get through both the House and the Senate. Unlike Donald Trump, they both realize they would not have dictatorial powers, and would work with Congress, modifying positions in order to get something workable.

    So, dear Curmudgeon, you can refuse to support Trump and still be able to sleep at night. The Republic will survive.

  6. “I know he has a sense of humor.”
    Yes, when he unleashed the Global Flood millions of people died from laughing.

    “How did things get so crazy?”
    This time I have no idea. My first answer was “all the scientists went to the DP and all the fundagelicals to the RP”. But that would imply American exceptionalism. In The Netherlands about 1/6, 1/7 voted for climate change deniers just five weeks ago. In the province Groningen it was the same – despite it being an area of man-made earthquakes!

    https://nltimes.nl/2018/01/08/hardest-earthquake-five-years-hits-groningen

    The party of climate change deniers wants to continue mining fossil gas in this province.

    Recently I read that the average IQ in the western world (and not only in the USA) has dropped. Perhaps that has something to do with all the craziness. But I don’t know how trustworthy that research is.

    “We don’t know if “Lork” is a typo or blasphemy.”
    It’s the reverse of Krol and Ruud Krol once was a heavenly football (ie not handegg) player.

  7. @TomS doesn’t understand FET: “….. go to the South Pole fell off the edge of the Earth.”

    https://wiki.tfes.org/The_Ice_Wall

  8. @FrankB
    That Ice Wall seems to be 11,500 feet high, which makes it easy to fly over. Why bother with making a steam-powered rocket, when one can hire an airplane to fly over the Ice Wall and see what is beyond it. Who knows, maybe the Earth curves around to make it a sphere, after all?

  9. Silly Louis. What “supports the foundations of the Earth?” Why it’s turtles, all the way down!

  10. Who hath divided a watercourse for the overflowing of waters, or a way for the lightning of thunder;
    I don’t have a citation for this, but I recall reading that there were people who used this Bibilical text to cmplain about man-made lightning, perhaps the Van de Graaff generator of the 1920s. Or even lightning rods after Franklin.

    It was thought up unti the 1800s that humans could not make extinct species of animals which God had rcreated. See the Wikipedia article on Extinction, section “History of scientific understanding”.

  11. Dave Luckett

    It would be fairly atypical for a person of Scots-Irish descent to be named “Louis”. And in Michigan, too. Possibly some coureur du bois ancestry there. But the first sentence is straight out of the Orange playbook, and the Borderers before that: an intense dislike and scorn for “book learning”, expertise, or any form of acquired understanding, and for academic institutions of any kind.

    “We’ll down with Universities, where learning is professed,
    Because they only ever teach the language of the Beast…”

    That’s a seventeenth century mind. A Calvinist seventeenth century mind, at that.

  12. It seems the less educated you are, the more you believe in mythic bogeyman figures like Satan. Then you go the full Louis route, and fire off indignant missives demonstrating to the world your basic illiteracy; and snide, condescending bastards like me (and others!) make fun of you. If God’s such a funny guy, Louis, why doesn’t he respond directly to all the rude heckling? I gotta wait until I’m doing an Arnold Toht in the Lake of Fire to appreciate God’s devastating comic timing and delicious sense of irony?

    Lork? As in “Lork and Lindy”, the short-lived Christian sitcom from the late seventies, about a lovable, wise-cracking born-again alien who comes to Earth?

  13. @TomS: “and see what is beyond it”
    Impossible. Your navigation equipment won’t work properly above the Ice Wall and lead you back.

    @DaveL: “That’s a seventeenth century mind. A Calvinist seventeenth century mind, at that.”
    You can thank us Dutchies for this attitude.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franciscus_Gomarus

  14. l Gore came up with global warming. The day he introduce [sic] it in Washington, it was so cold everything was closed. I’ll bet the Lord thought, “I’ll show you who is in charge” ( I know he has a sense of humor.)

    “Ignorance is strength.” Apparently Louis thinks that global warming is only prven if every day (or every year) is warmer than the last, and there’s no room for temporary deviations from this trend. (Does he even know what a trend is, in scientific terms?)

    Since Al Gore couldn’t prove that, the name was changed to climate change. This is just one hoax the Democrats are trying to get you to believe. Evolution is another. [Gasp!]

    “Louis” should pick his fight not with Al Gore but with the huge majority of climate scientists who accept that the planet is warming and that human activity is at least partly to blame. Climate change isn’t an hoax, whether Chinese (per our current president, in his 2016 campaign) or otherwise. The name change was made in order to emphasize that rising temperature affected other things, such as rainfall patterns and hurricanes.

    As for evolution being a hoax, well, there are people, even in politics, who believe such drivel: no fewer than three of the contenders for the 2008 Republican convention publicly declared themselves creationists. People who haven’t been lobotomized for Jesus are quite another matter.