Ol’ Hambo Says It’s National Tourism Day

If you’re one of those sinful secularist evolutionists, you probably haven’t heard of National Tourism Day. In that case, get ready to learn something — for once in your wretched life. The information comes from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

He just posted this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: On National Tourism Day Plan Your Visit to the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

Today is National Tourism Day here in the United States of America. [We never heard of it!] It’s part of National Travel and Tourism Week, first celebrated in 1983 when President Ronald Reagan signed a proclamation encouraging everyone to celebrate this week of experiencing what our nation, and other nations, have to offer. And we want you to take advantage of this reminder to travel by planning your visit to the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum!

Ooooooooooooh! This is your big chance, dear reader, to visit Hambo’s infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum, and also his exact replica of Noah’s Ark known as Ark Encounter. Hambo says:

And keep in mind, Northern Kentucky is now considered the leading faith-based tourist destination in the USA [How wonderful!], because of the Ark and the Creation Museum. We’re conveniently located: almost 2/3 of the US population can drive here in one day!

You’re drooling at the idea of visiting the top “faith-based tourist destination in the USA,” aren’t you? Of course you are! Hambo tells us:

According to NationalToday.com [The “holiday” has a website?], there are three ways to celebrate National Tourism Day:

What follows (in bold) are the three suggestions from the “Holiday’s” website, followed with Hambo’s recommended way to accomplish those things:

1. Give someone a souvenir from your city or state. So, send someone a souvenir from your trip to the Ark Encounter or the Creation Museum! [Uh, only if that’s from your city or state.]

2. Plan a trip to another country. If you live outside the United States, plan a visit to see the the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum. … And if you live here in the United States and haven’t been to see these attractions, we encourage you to come! [Uh, what about leaving the US to visit another country?]

3. Give the gift of travel. Did you know we offer gift cards? [Link Omitted.] … Encourage someone else to come and hear the life-changing message of the gospel as you give them a gift of a gift card.

Perhaps it’s our imagination, but Hambo’s recommendations for the first two items seem to be utterly inconsistent with the advice of the website promoting the “holiday.” Anyway, he continues:

So, as Northern Kentucky has quickly become the leading area for faith-based tourism in the United States [Lucky Kentucky!], plan to visit us soon. … You’ll be delighted by your visit and eager to come back.

Well, dear reader, what are you waiting for? Start packing and get going to Kentucky, where you will learn The Truth.

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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11 responses to “Ol’ Hambo Says It’s National Tourism Day

  1. “[Uh, what about leaving the US to visit another country?]”
    Yeah! Is Ol’Hambo jealous or something? Why doesn’t he promote



  2. Poor Northern Kentucky. Imagine being held captive by Ham, consigned to the stocks, while large sections of the public laugh and pelt you with rotten tomatoes:

    “Can you let us out now, Ken? This is humiliating!”
    “No. Jesus died for our sins, so I don’t see why you shouldn’t have to suffer, too.”

  3. If you go to Disney World, you can see a wonderful “replica” of Cinderella’s castle. But you won’t be treated to a lot of obnoxious propaganda to the effect that Cinderella is a real historical character and that her entire story (magic and all) REALLY HAPPENED exactly as described.

    If you go to Ark Encounter, you won’t be as lucky regarding the story of Noah.

  4. Discover China

    There are billion of people who are viisting where corner of the world but no one visit china because no one know the reason why china is famous for tourism so i must recomanded you to write a blog on tourism in China

  5. Dave Luckett

    Congratulations, SC! You have attracted one of the 50-cent army!

  6. First Prague, now China. What’s going on with all this desirable destination name-dropping?

    China? There must be a creationist angle there somewhere. Maybe Ham has in mind a shock-and-awe assault on Yunnan and Liaoning provinces, with creationists mounted on animatronic stegosauruses, blasting all those satanic feathered theropod fossils to Kingdom Come. I’m sure I’ve seen illustrations along those lines, from one of Ken’s innumerable children’s books.

    A holy war between Ken Ham and Xu Xing over who gets to own the public perception of dinosaurs, with no quarter given.

  7. “Northern Kentucky is now considered the leading faith-based tourist destination in the USA”

    Creationists are so extremely irony impaired and incapable of self reflection that they are actually proud of being so backwards.

  8. Mark Germano

    “Plan a trip to another country.”

    The late American football commentator Beano Cook once said that he wanted to visit two foreign countries before he died: Australia and Mississippi.

    Maybe Ken understands that Northern Kentucky would be like visiting another country for many Americans.

  9. What a grifter.

  10. I’ve been trying to visit Kentucky, but they wouldn’t give me a visa.

  11. For what it’s worth, the Chinese are building a full-sized Titanic replica to function as a floating hotel in a resort in Sichuan. I’ll take it over Ham’s ark any day. At least Titanic II will actually be afloat, if only in an inland river, and it replicates a ship that really existed.