If you’re one of those sinful secularist evolutionists, you probably haven’t heard of National Tourism Day. In that case, get ready to learn something — for once in your wretched life. The information comes from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.
He just posted this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: On National Tourism Day Plan Your Visit to the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
Today is National Tourism Day here in the United States of America. [We never heard of it!] It’s part of National Travel and Tourism Week, first celebrated in 1983 when President Ronald Reagan signed a proclamation encouraging everyone to celebrate this week of experiencing what our nation, and other nations, have to offer. And we want you to take advantage of this reminder to travel by planning your visit to the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum!
And keep in mind, Northern Kentucky is now considered the leading faith-based tourist destination in the USA [How wonderful!], because of the Ark and the Creation Museum. We’re conveniently located: almost 2/3 of the US population can drive here in one day!
You’re drooling at the idea of visiting the top “faith-based tourist destination in the USA,” aren’t you? Of course you are! Hambo tells us:
According to NationalToday.com [The “holiday” has a website?], there are three ways to celebrate National Tourism Day:
What follows (in bold) are the three suggestions from the “Holiday’s” website, followed with Hambo’s recommended way to accomplish those things:
1. Give someone a souvenir from your city or state. So, send someone a souvenir from your trip to the Ark Encounter or the Creation Museum! [Uh, only if that’s from your city or state.]
2. Plan a trip to another country. If you live outside the United States, plan a visit to see the the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum. … And if you live here in the United States and haven’t been to see these attractions, we encourage you to come! [Uh, what about leaving the US to visit another country?]
3. Give the gift of travel. Did you know we offer gift cards? [Link Omitted.] … Encourage someone else to come and hear the life-changing message of the gospel as you give them a gift of a gift card.
Perhaps it’s our imagination, but Hambo’s recommendations for the first two items seem to be utterly inconsistent with the advice of the website promoting the “holiday.” Anyway, he continues:
So, as Northern Kentucky has quickly become the leading area for faith-based tourism in the United States [Lucky Kentucky!], plan to visit us soon. … You’ll be delighted by your visit and eager to come back.
Well, dear reader, what are you waiting for? Start packing and get going to Kentucky, where you will learn The Truth™.
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