There is no mention in the bible of fungi, but that doesn’t stop Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. At the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry, he just posted “Brainless Fungi” Extraordinarily Complex. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
When you think of fungi [We always do.], you probably don’t automatically think “smart” — especially considering they don’t have brains! But these incredible organisms are indeed “smart,” in the sense that they are designed to do what they do, and what they do, they do well.
Ooooooooooooh! Fungi are smart! Then he says:
The more we look at what God has made, the more obvious it is that we are without excuse if we refuse to acknowledge the Creator (Romans 1:20). And fungi are just one more example.
Fungi were divinely created! And that’s not all. Hambo tells us:
Plants and fungi trade resources in a mutually beneficial relationship. This is known as symbiosis. And it’s a complicated exchange, as this summary of a new study explains in New Scientist [Hambo provides no link]:
[Alleged quote:] But it turns out the fungi are savvy traders, taking advantage of their partners by shuttling goods to nutrient-starved areas where plants are willing to pay more than usual. The discovery is the latest demonstration that even simple, brainless organisms are capable of sophisticated trading strategies.
Hambo is dazed and dazzled. He declares:
Hmm — “sophisticated” strategies. Does that sound like the result of chance? [No, that’s impossible!] The study found that when phosphorus — a necessary nutrient which the plants receive from the fungi in exchange for carbon — is in limited supply, the fungi will grab the phosphorus from an area of high concentration and send it across the network to an area of low concentration.
Considering the people Hambo probably deals with every day, it’s not surprising that he thinks a fungus is intellectually impressive. He continues:
The final paragraph of the article states, “the big mystery is how fungi coordinate trading strategies in the absence of cognition.” Without a brain — how do they do all of this?
Uh, let us guess. How about divine guidance from beyond this sinful universe? Let’s find out what Hambo thinks:
Well, further study is sure to give us clues, but they won’t find an evolutionary origin for such an ability. [Of course not!] These fungi were created by God and clearly show his handiwork to all who will take the time to look and consider.
How about that? We got it right! Hambo wraps it all up with this:
No wonder God’s Word says that it’s evident to all that God is Creator, and for those who don’t believe, they are “without excuse” (Romans 1:20).
Okay, dear reader, what are you going to do with this new information? For starters, we suggest you toss out any fungicide you may have around the house. It’s time you were more respectful of fungi — they’re divinely created intelligent life.
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