Hambo Says Libraries Are Dangerous

It’s exciting to see a major news outfit pay attention to Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

This appears at the website of Fox 5, the Fox News station in New York City. Their headline is Ark Encounter founder says libraries are becoming dangerous for children, and they don’t seem to have a comments feature. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

The man who built a giant replica of the Bible’s Noah’s Ark in Kentucky is warning children about the dangers posed by libraries.

That makes sense. Who needs those silly books anyway, when all the wisdom in the world is contained within one book? Fox says:

Ken Ham tweeted a link to a Christian website article critical of LGBTQ content [Gasp!] appearing in libraries. “Increasingly (sadly) so, but public libraries are becoming dangerous places for kids (of all ages),” Ham tweeted. “And sadly, the majority of kids from church homes have already had their hearts & minds captured by the enemy through public schools, TV etc.”

Egad, their hearts and minds are being captured! This is an outrage! Fox News tells us:

Ham, a creationist [How wonderful!], has also blamed racism as a spiritual problem rooted in a false belief in evolution.

Yes, racism never existed before Darwin. It’s all his fault — see Racism, Eugenics, and Darwin. Fox News continues:

His [Hambo’s] 510-foot-long wooden ark has been a popular northern Kentucky attraction [for droolers] since its 2016 opening.

Yes, we know. There’s not much else to the article, so this is where we’ll leave Fox News. And there you have it, dear reader. Libraries are dangerous. Don’t let your kids near one. There are only three safe places they can go to learn The Truth. They are: (1) the website of Hambo’s creationist ministry, Answers in Genesis; (2) the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum; and (3) Hambo’s exact replica of Noah’s Ark known as Ark Encounter. Everything else is evil!

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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17 responses to “Hambo Says Libraries Are Dangerous

  1. It took him a long time to realise the dangers of public libraries. They also have dangerous books on astronomy, geology and biology. There are tons of children books on dinosaurs.

    But why worry about books? Kids (and adults) get all their information from the internet anyway. The obvious solution is to direct all internet traffic to his AIG website. Since this is not practical, the only solution is to isolate his floc and live like the Amish or the Hutterites.

  2. “They are: (1) the website of Hambo’s creationist ministry, Answers in Genesis; (2) the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum; and (3) Hambo’s exact replica of Noah’s Ark known as Ark Encounter. Everything else is evil!”

    You forgot: “Any ‘educational’ materials sold by AiG to line Ken’s pockets”

  3. Holding The Line In Florida

    Ham tweeted. “And sadly, the majority of kids from church homes have already had their hearts & minds captured by the enemy through public schools, TV etc.” I love the way he said “enemy”. Verily the Right Reverend Dr Hambostein has determined the true threat to his livelihood! Knowledge is a dangerous thing.

  4. Seems as though Ham wants the kids to only be exposed to his alternate truth.

  5. The problem seems to be, specifically, LGBTQ content.

    In which case zoos are even worse than libraries, at least if they (the zoos) have bonobos

  6. Dave Luckett

    Sure, libraries are dangerous – to Ham. You have to remember that Ham has trouble with any consideration other than those covered by the last two words of that last sentence. The Universe is as Ham sees it; God does as Ham requires; the world is what Ham wants it to be.This, to Ham, is the natural order of the Universe. Libraries oppose that, so of course they are the enemy.

    In all fairness, the way the world has treated him provides evidence for Ham’s take on it. He should be destitute, a lone shuffler on sidewalks, a dumpster diver, a ragged shouter at passing cars. Instead, he’s pulling down two hundred grand a year running a minor empire. People defer to him. They send him money. He’s in the papers, and not the funny papers. He’s got a million-dollar house with no padded walls, and it doesn’t smell of antiseptic and there are no distant howls, unless he’s preaching. He’s a success.

    You know, the Cathars – a bunch of anathematized heretics – used to say that you could only account for this world by assuming that it was run by Satan. I contemplate Ham, and I’m not entirely sure there’s nothing to that idea.

  7. @Rsg: don’t tell me you’re surprised.

  8. Dangerous for adults, too. My local public library is where I found and read George Smith’s Atheism: The Case Against God. I’ve never recovered.

  9. Mark Germano

    To riff off of Mencken, creationism/fundamentalism is the nagging feeling that someone, somewhere is learning something.

  10. Mark Germano

    Or, possibly: …somewhere, someone…

  11. Karl Goldsmith

    Faux is a favourite source of Ken. I see the tweet, the graphic shows three books one titled “Transphobia Deal With It” the other two books have drawings of two girls, the horror! instead of boy and girl, called “Princess Princess” and “Star Crossed.”

    This is the link Kent tweeted. https://world.wng.org/2019/06/a_mess_on_the_shelves

  12. Karl Goldsmith

    “This is the link Kent” Ken, I’m thinking of that other scammer who is try to extort his son.

    Can we get the WordPress edit function working on comments.

  13. docbill1351

    I remember discovering biographies in the summer of the 4th Grade. Every Saturday my mother would take me to the local library where I would check out a dozen books. I seem to recall that 12 was the limit.

    Then, one Saturday when no one was looking, I sneaked under the rope into the Adult Section and discovered science fiction! OMG, it was like I had been snorting biography cocaine and had discovered heroin!

  14. Jim Roberts

    @Paul Braterman, or penguins. Or giraffes. Or wolves. Or … at this point, I think we’ve seen homosexual behavior in basically every zoo-bound species, haven’t we?

  15. But bonobos are blatant

  16. Plus the world would be a much nicer place if Homo Sapiens solved social problems the bonobo way. I cannot rub that into creationist faces often enough.

  17. @FrankB, rubbing the bonobo method into creationist faces! Really now, there are limits!