Hambo’s Bible-Based Science Camp

This will thrill you, dear reader. It’s from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. He just wrote this for his blog at at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), Hambo’s creationist ministry: A Week of Hands-On Science Wraps Up at the Creation Museum. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

Here at the Creation Museum, we’re excited to offer something quite unique — a five-day summer science camp that presents science from the lens of a biblical worldview. [Yup, it’s unique.] We just wrapped up our first Explore camp for 2019 — and the kids loved it. If this is something your child(ren) would also love, there’s still time to register for our second camp [Link omitted.], July 22–26, 2019.

Wowie — science from a biblical worldview! That’s the way to do it! Hambo says:

One of the event organizers wrote this summary of the five days of camp for me to share with you. As you can see, the campers did a host of hands-on science activities and dove deep [Deep!] into a biblical worldview and how to apply that to what we see in the world.

Those campers are so fortunate! Hambo gives us us the event organizer’s summary:

What is unique about the Explore summer camps at the museum is that students learn science from a biblical worldview. [Ooooooooooooh!] Many of the students coming to the summer camp attend public schools throughout the year, so it was exciting to see children hearing biblical truths for the first time.

It’s going to be interesting when those kids go back to public school with their biblical worldview of science. The event summary continues:

Through hands-on science labs, engaging speakers, and intriguing scavenger hunts, students were pointed to the truth found only in God’s perfect Word. The week-long day camp included over 20 unique activities which were designed to challenge students’ thinking about what secular science teaches regarding origins [like evolution] and what the Bible reveals about God’s creation.

Skipping a bit, we come to this:

The campers were privileged to spend Thursday with Dr. Danny Faulkner, a world-renowned astronomer. [World renowned!] Dr. Faulkner gave the students a tour of the observatory, taught them how to calculate the curvature of the earth, and explained why this is evidence of a spherical planet.

Hambo is very proud of the one bit of non-biblical science they accept — see AIG Says the Earth Really Isn’t Flat. Here’s our last excerpt:

As you can see, the Explore 5-day camp at the Creation Museum is one-of-a-kind and unlike any other camp in the world. There is still time to register for July’s Explore 5-day camp. Don’t miss this wonderful opportunity for your child to receive hands-on science with expert instruction from a biblical worldview.

That’s it, dear reader. If you want your kids to learn that evolution is a sinful lie, the Earth is young and covered by the dome of the firmament, and the universe is cursed because of the sin of Adam & Eve, then don’t hesitate. Sign the kids up for Hambo’s science camp.

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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13 responses to “Hambo’s Bible-Based Science Camp

  1. You missed out the best bit: “Through in-depth anatomical evidence found in both living and fossilized birds as well as fossilized dinosaurs, Dr. Menton outlined numerous examples of why this [the birds-are-dinosaurs] theory is inaccurate.”

    Eat your heart out, TH Huxley; you got it all wrong!

    https://mathcs.clarku.edu/huxley/SM3/Dino-boid.html#fig3

  2. Michael Fugate

    What will happen to their faith when they realize they have been lied to?

  3. Dave Luckett

    Michael Fugate: Ah, but will they ever realise that? Some will, of course: those to whom Ham’s brainwash is a false start, and not the end, of their education. The rest?

    Remember, Ham can simply resign most of them to perdition. Jesus did the same, after all. Ham only needs a fraction of them to never think about it, ever again, and he’s in clover. They’ll keep them donations rolling in, and go to his monuments to mendacity and pay him for the privilege, and in the fullness of time, warp their own kids’ minds in turn. A fruitful field for the workers to come, thinks Ham. And who’s to say he’s wrong?

    Sorry. I haven’t had my coffee yet this morning.

  4. The talented and brilliant SC publishes Hambo saying “science from the lens of a biblical worldview” Translation. No thinking allowed. Later our Curmudgeon says “It’s going to be interesting when those kids go back to public school with their biblical worldview of science”. I’m wondering how many of those kids are A. home skuuled or B. church schooled. I mean, who would actually send a child (and pay money) to what must be a truly bizarre experience filled with a lot of literally, anti science propaganda?. That said any kid going back to a public school science class after that might indeed be pretty hair raising for either the teacher, the child, or both. Would love to have some video of such encounters.

  5. The Natural Historian blog (by a Christian evolutionary biologist) has an interesting summary of Creationist views on feathered dinosaur discoveries here: https://thenaturalhistorian.com/2018/06/30/how-have-young-earth-creationists-responded-to-feathered-dinosaurs/

    Interestingly, some creationists are coming around and saying that a link between birds and dinosaurs might have to be acknowledged. So far, AIG has not gotten the message.

  6. Edit to my comment above: the blog is called The Natural Historian, not “History”.

    [*Voice from above*] All is well.

  7. “children hearing biblical truths for the first time.”
    BWAHAHAHAHA! Are they implying that those kids hadn’t heard them at home yet? Hey, fundagelical parents, according to Ol’Hambo you do a lousy job raising your children!

  8. @MichaelF asks, perhaps rhetorically: “What will happen to their faith when they realize they have been lied to?”
    1. There are quite some testimonies on internet that tell how it completely disappeared.
    2. To others I think in a metaphorical way the lyrics of this Deep Purple song applies.

    You’re lazy just stay in bed
    You’re lazy just stay in bed
    You don’t want no money
    You don’t want no bread

    If you’re drowning you don’t clutch no straw
    If you’re drowning you don’t clutch no straw
    You don’t want to live
    you don’t want to cry no more

    Well my trying ain’t done no good
    I said my trying ain’t done no good
    You don’t make no effort
    no not like you should

  9. @FrankB
    Maybe those kids never heard those new Biblical truths like the Ice Age after the Flood, or the huge burst of microevolution?
    BTW, how can the kids measure the curvature of the Earth?

  10. “a five-day summer science camp that presents science from the lens of a biblical worldview.”

    Since science isn’t sectarian this is just another religious apologetic oxymoron (i.e. “creation science”). Danny Faulkner isn’t exactly “world famous” but is however much closer to being “world infamous” for being a young Earth loon. If you start to show some people how to dismantle their own reasoning ability some will quite eagerly finish the job on their own.
    https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Danny_Faulkner

  11. @TomS: “Maybe those kids never heard ….”
    Exactly! What a shame that fundagelical parents never told them!
    This link will answer your question:

    https://www.astro.princeton.edu/~dns/teachersguide/MeasECAct.html

  12. @Michael Fugate, “What will happen to their faith when they realize they have been lied to?” They are not amused. Many of my most helpful contacts in my work against creationism are theistic evolutionists, some of them brought up as creationists, who have come to regard creationism as bringing their faith into disrepute. When interacting with such people, I disclose my own unbelief, but I have never found that to be an obstacle to our cooperation.

  13. @FrankB
    That is an interesting way of studying the curvature of the Earth. But it needs a nearby ocean or very large lake. It would work on the shore of Lake Michigan, I think. But not in Kentucky.