Here’s Your Chance To Work for Hambo

Yes, dear reader, it’s true. As our title promises, you really do have a chance to work for Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. At the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry, he just posted Join Our Culinary Services Team at the Ark Encounter or Creation Museum. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

It takes hundreds of people (over 1,000 during our peak times) to operate Answers in Genesis, the Creation Museum, and the Ark Encounter. We so appreciate all of our employees as they do an amazing job making our two attractions wonderful places to visit, producing all our Answers in Genesis resources, keeping the ministry running smoothly, and so much more. And we want you to join the team!

Did you hear that? Hambo says: “we want you to join the team!” Isn’t that the greatest thing you’ve ever heard? Wanna learn more? Of course you do, so we’ll continue. Hambo says:

We’re hiring at AiG, the Ark Encounter, and the Creation Museum in many different departments. [Ooooooooooooh!]

Then he gets specific:

One specific department we’re looking for several hard-working individuals is culinary services at both the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum. Our Culinary Services Team is responsible for the delicious food we serve at both locations, as well as greeting guests, keeping the area clean (the cleanliness of our attractions usually gets a rating of “excellent” on guest surveys!), completing transactions through our point-of-sale system, and other duties.

Wowie — just what you’ve always wanted! After that he tells us:

Prior experience is a plus, but not required. We will train you. It could provide a great experience for your future employment and a unique opportunity to work in a Christian ministry. We’re hiring for seasonal positions, as well as full-time, so there’s flexibility depending on what you are looking for in a job.

Isn’t that great news? There’s flexibility! Hambo continues:

We’re hosting open interviews [Link omitted.] every Thursday from 9 a.m. through 4 p.m. at a church just down the road from the Ark Encounter. If you’re considering a career with our attractions, we encourage you to drop in at Mount Olivet Christian Church for an interview.

The interviews are at a church! Isn’t that wonderful? And the good news keeps coming:

Additional job openings at the ministry include:

• A/V technician
• Housekeeping
• Graphic designer
• Groundskeeper
• Marketing Campaign Developer
• Public safety officer
• And many more!

There’s gotta be something on that list you’re qualified for. If not, at the end of his post Hambo links to an even bigger list:

Find a full list of available positions, and apply today, at Jobs at Answers in Genesis.

We don’t see it mentioned anywhere, but before you can be given your dream job, you’ll need to sign AIG’s Statement of Faith. Okay, dear reader, now head for Kentucky and find your future career working for ol’ Hambo. And hey — tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya.

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16 responses to “Here’s Your Chance To Work for Hambo

  1. Eddie Janssen

    I would like to be a guide who tells the visitors the creationist side of the story of life on earth. After following the Great Debate for two decades now I think I am capable of telling Ham’s views about the Flood, Creation Week and what not.

  2. Our Curmudgeon writes:

    We don’t see it mentioned anywhere, but before you can be given your dream job, you’ll need to sign AIG’s Statement of Faith.

    If you drill down via the ‘Learn More’ button associated with each position listed at the link, you will indeed find that all require, inter alia, the following prerequisites:

    Salvation Testimony
    Creation Belief Statement
    Confirmation of your agreement with the AiG Statement of Faith
    Completion of a Background Check and Pre-Employment Drug Screen

    And there I was, getting tempted by the unpaid IT Internship on offer! Damn!

  3. And although this has been covered in this splendid blog before, it is IMHO worth reminding oneself from time to time just what Hambo’s Statement of Faith

    Among my favourite gems from that fell document:

    …Those who do not believe in Christ are subject to everlasting conscious punishment, but believers enjoy eternal life with God.

    …By definition, no apparent, perceived or claimed evidence in any field, including history and chronology, can be valid if it contradicts the scriptural record.

    IOW, science is just plain old wrong ‘by definition’, and those who think otherwise are doomed to ‘everlasting conscious punishment’.

    All of which goes to show why Bill Nye was a fool to engage with Hambo

  4. I’m thinking about applying for a culinary specialist job, so I can grill all the tasty animals on the damn ark!

  5. Charles Deetz ;)

    Ooh, ooh! I could do that marketing job. I could also market cigarettes, cannabis, and right wing candidates. But I have a conscious, if not a soul, Hambo’s test doesn’t seem to really ask that question.

  6. Look on the bright side. None of the DI crowd would qualify.

    But how is one to obtain a Salvation Testimony? I thought tha individual salvation status was kept sealed until when “Jesus Christ … shall return in person to this earth as Judge of the living and the dead.” Or do the Saved have ways of knowing that are denied to the rest of us?

  7. Notice also how the job description includes “greeting”; those no doubt helps Ham evade antidiscrimination laws for his sweepers

  8. @Paul Braterman
    2 Tmothy 4:1 “I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom;”
    and the Apostles’ Creed. See the Wikipedia article “The quick and the dead (idiom)”.
    We cannot expect people to be familiar with the Bible and must rely on authoritative pronuncements as to what it really means.
    I only wish that Nye would have at least once responded to the pronouncement that it’s in the Book with something ike: “Show me.”

  9. Ken is so good about making fancy titles for his positions.

    Research Scientist == Creationist

    Lab Technician == Data manipulator

    Creation Geologist == “Godidit” repeater

    Culinary Services == Fry Cook

  10. Michael Sternberg

    How will AIG enterprises operate, after the Rapture?

  11. Statement of faith is in the interview link:
    Must agree with and be able to sign our Statement of Faith.
    Maintains a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
    Regular attendance at a local Bible-believing church.

  12. Stephen Kennedy

    I think it is a disgrace that Hambo continues to get away with his blatantly discriminatory hiring practices. On the other hand I can not imagine being so desperate for a job that I would be willing to work at such a creepy place and with such weird people.

  13. Dave Luckett

    Of course he has to insulate his little group from contaminating opinions, aka reality. Otherwise there’s no knowing what could happen. Infiltration, subversion, subtle misdirection from planted agents of Satan. Cunningly inserted Darwinist moles, who point to the steel trusses, bolts and gangplates that hold the non-Ark together as evidence for its structural soundness, or who cite the Second Book of Prevarications or the Prophet Mendacites as just some of the many scriptural references to dinosaurs or ice ages. Stuff like that.

    Oh, eternal vigilance is the price of admission; at Ark Encounter. Well, that and $48.

  14. Re: culinary services — One would think that Ham, as Old Testament biblical as he is, would insist on keeping kosher. After all, the rules are “in the Book.”

  15. Tuttut – Ol’Hambo only is Old-Testamentical as long it suits him. Regarding food the OT doesn’t matter anymore because Jesus. What do you think, that Ol’Hambo is a Pharisee?!

  16. @RetiredScienceGuy, the present-day rules of keeping kosher are a massive rabbinical elaboration of the biblical texts. Thus “Thou shalt not boil a kid in its mother’s milk” (biblical) becomes “Keep two sets of dishes, one for meat and one for milk and everything else, and don’t consume any milk products until three hours after eating meat, in case they mix in the stomach.”

    Charming in its way. I used to do all that.