Creationist Wisdom #977: Sex Didn’t Evolve

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Marietta Daily Journal of Marietta, Georgia. It’s titled A mustard seed, and they have a comments section.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is Harry. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!

Harry begins by praising some earlier column — probably this one: One Small Step For Man, One Giant Leap For Mankind — about what a fine fellow Werner von Braun was. Then he says:

I didn’t know about the Christianity facet of Von Braun’s life. It certainly would not be learned from the so-called mainstream press.

Nor would it be learned from the rockets he built with slave labor that were intended to bomb London. Then Harry changes the subject to creationism:

My little opinion of evolution is that it’s certain scientists’ way of saying “we don’t know,” but they won’t say that, and further, they have very aggressively and forcefully driven out even the possibility of Intelligent Design, as well as any scientist who might tend toward that intelligent approach.

Those evolutionists are not only fools, they’re also bullies. Bad people, every one of them! After that, Harry tells us:

It’s much easier to control the unwashed if you can persuade them that the state has all the answers.

The only people who think the state has all the answers are fanatical theocrats who run their state. Harry continues by changing the subject again:

Our Lord spoke of faith and the mustard seed. Think of that tiny, hard seed, and all the other ones similar.

Let’s do as Harry says. Are you thinking of the mustard seed? Okay, let’s read on:

Each seed has all the info needed to reproduce itself billions of times each year [Gasp!], and for thousands of years. The produce from those seeds have fed us humans for all this time. God!

Truly amazing! Here’s another excerpt:

Or think of human and all animal reproduction. [Okay.] If one looks coldly and clinically at what’s necessary to reproduce ourselves, no one would bother [Really?], but the biological Imperative demands we do it, and entices us with an ethereal, heavenly feeling.

Ooooooooooooh! Here’s more:

It cannot have evolved. [Huh?] It all had to be there suddenly, intact, and all at once.

Brilliant — absolutely brilliant! And now we come to the end:

Micro-evolution is a fact. Macro-evolution is a myth.

Wowie — what a letter! Way to go, Harry!

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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8 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #977: Sex Didn’t Evolve

  1. Dave Luckett

    Well, Harry, it’s a fact that on a number of organisms OR number of species basis, most of the life on the planet reproduces itself asexually. Sexual reproduction seems only to be an advantage to those organisms that have a slower reproductive cycle, and are advantaged by a greater selection of traits than from one individual. How it began, exactly, is a mystery, which is not surprising, because sexual reproduction is very ancient and the clues are simply not there, but it is a natural chemical property of DNA that it can separate and recombine with another DNA molecule, thus swapping traits. That’s sexual reproduction. It therefore very likely began with DNA.

    Exactly how that happened is, as I remarked, unknown. But guess what, Harry? For hundreds of years now, scientists have been pushing back the boundaries of the unknown. You can’t take refuge in the unknown. You can’t say, “We don’t know, therefore we will never know, and it must be God”. That’s called “God of the gaps”, because it tries to fit God into the gaps in our knowledge – and those gaps keep shrinking. If God is to be found in the gaps, then God keeps shrinking. Not a good look, Harry.

    Do you really believe that there’s no natural cause for the behaviour of all living things to reproduce themselves? You are the result of billions of generations of ancestors who all managed to do it. They were all selected for that achievement. If they weren’t, you wouldn’t be here. You are also naturally selected for that achievement in your entirely human ancestors, and that requires a further subset of traits. To successfully produce viable offspring, a human being must put greater time, effort and resources into each one than any other organism on the planet into each of theirs – a quantum leap more. It requires more than any human being can muster alone – at least, in a state of nature. But if that commitment is not made, the progeny do not survive. Does it really surprise you that humans feel rewarded for making it, which necessarily involves creating the partnerships and co-operative effort to do it? If they didn’t feel rewarded for that, they wouldn’t do it – and their genes would automatically be culled. You think that God makes us feel that way. I don’t say He doesn’t – but He enacted a natural process, natural selection, to make it happen and perpetuate it.

    What, do you think God couldn’t or wouldn’t do that, Harry? You want to tell Him that? Who the hell do you think you are, Harry?

  2. chris schilling

    Inspired by Harry’s crackpot free associations, I’ve added some of my own:

    Sex didn’t evolve, it was invented by an immaterial spirit who was so hung up about the whole sordid matter, he resorted to Magic Sperm to impregnate a hapless virgin.

    Cheated out of that ethereal, heavenly feeling Harry describes so vividly, poor Mary had to be consoled by the Magic Sperm donor with the words from an evergreen song:

    “I beg your pardon
    I never promised you a hard-on”

  3. It’s much easier to control the unwashed if you can persuade them that the state has all the answers.

    Or if you can persuade them that your favorite holy book does.

  4. Eddie Janssen

    Whatever the merit of Harry’s thoughts, he brought up one interesting question: When did the first animal realise that the birth of a young one was directly related to some activities a couple of months before. And a related question, was that particular animal a human, australopithecine or an even more remote ancestor?

  5. Hmmmm ….. so sex declares the glory of the creationist god. Then an excellent way to worship this god is to practise it. So Harry and co, good creationists as they are, of course are great supporters of sex education on high schools and of easily accessible contraceptives.
    Hmmmmm again ….. something went wrong with this logic.

  6. “the rockets he built with slave labor that were intended to bomb London.”

    Not just indended; used. I know, I was there!

  7. Possibly our dear SC was also thinking of all V1s and V2s that didn’t reach London, despite Von Braun’s intentions.

  8. This thread would not now be complete without the lyrics of the wonderful Tom Lehrer’s song in honour of Werhner von Braun:

    Gather ’round while I sing you of Wernher von Braun
    A man whose allegiance
    Is ruled by expedience
    Call him a Nazi, he won’t even frown
    “Ha, Nazi, Schmazi” says Wernher von Braun

    Don’t say that he’s hypocritical
    Say rather that he’s apolitical
    “Vonce ze rockets are up, who cares vere zey come down?
    Zat’s not mein department” say Wernher von Braun

    Some have harsh words for this man of renown
    But some think our attitude
    Should be one of gratitude
    Like the widows and cripples in old London town
    Who owe their large pension to Wernher von Braun

    You too may be a big hero
    Once you’ve learned to count backwards to zero
    “In German, oder Englisch, I know how to count down
    Und I’m learnink Chinese!” says Wernher von Braun