It was only two months ago that we wrote Ol’ Hambo Is Not a Flat-Earther. That’s why we’re surprised to find the subject being discussed again by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.
Hambo must be under a lot of pressure regarding the shape of the Earth, because he just posted this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: Does the Bible Teach a Flat Earth? Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
In the past, I would hear atheists argue that the Bible supposedly teaches a flat earth, and therefore we can’t trust anything it says about science. But now it’s not just atheists arguing the Bible teaches a flat earth — it’s some Christians, too, who’ve sadly fallen for flat-earth arguments and now believe that’s what the Bible teaches. But does it?
Does it? Yes, it does. And if Hambo can read, he knows that it does. We discussed dozens of flat-Earth bible passages in The Earth Is Flat! We also pointed out that there are no bible passages that say otherwise — and we even addressed a couple that are sometimes quoted by apologists who claim they mention a spherical Earth, and explained why their arguments don’t work.
So while there’s no doubt that the bible is a flat-Earth book, it’ll be amusing to watch Hambo struggle with the issue. First, he answers his earlier question (Does the bible teach flat-Earth?) with a denial:
No, it doesn’t. [BWAHAHAHAHAHA!] Now, flat earthers will frequently bring up poetic passages, such as verses from Psalms or Job, and say those verses teach a flat earth because phrases like “ends of the earth” or references to a setting sun appear.
In our post we had lots of flat-Earth passages from both the Old and the New Testament. Among them we quoted Psalms seven times and Job three times. Here are the Job quotes, which Hambo says are poetry:
Job 9:6: Which shaketh the earth out of her place, and the pillars thereof tremble. [A reference to the usually unmovable earth, but it must be flat to sit on pillars.]
Job 37:3: He directeth it under the whole heaven, and his lightning unto the ends of the earth.
Job 38:4: Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth?
Okay, back to Hambo. He claims all that stuff should be ignored:
But those passages are poetry — by definition poetry is filled with literary devices such as metaphors, similes, and figures of speech.
Some of it is poetry, but the quantity of passages we cited blows that feeble defense away. And don’t forget, there are no passages in the bible that claim the Earth is a sphere. But Hambo keeps babbling about the poetry defense — because it’s all he’s got:
The biblical text is meant to be interpreted naturally, according to the genre. And poetry is clearly intended to be understood within the context of abundant literary devices that are not meant to be taken so woodenly and literally (i.e., God does not literally lie us down in green pastures as per Psalm 23:2).
That’s nice, but what about some of the non-poetry stuff we quoted in our post. For example:
1 Samuel 2:8: for the pillars of the earth are the LORD’s, and he hath set the world upon them.
Matthew 4:8: Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;
Luke 4:5: And the devil, taking him up into an high mountain, shewed unto him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time.
Revelation 7:1: And after these things I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth,
Hambo then links to some AIG articles, and after that he ends his post with a few paragraphs hawking some videos, so this is where we leave him.
And what did we learn, dear reader? Well, we already knew the Earth isn’t flat — regardless of what the bible says (so many times). But we also know the Earth isn’t 6,000 years old, and there wasn’t a global Flood 4,300 years ago either. Hambo is in the impossible position of arguing that despite what the bible says, flat-Earth is a false and stupid belief, but young-Earth and the global Flood are The Truth™.
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