Night at the Ark and the Creation Museum

The Scream by Edvard Munch

No, our title isn’t the name of a new horror movie. It’s supposed to be a wonderful opportunity offered by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

At the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), Hambo’s creationist ministry, he just posted Overnight Adventures at the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

We want as many young people as possible to visit the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum in Northern Kentucky and learn of the truth of God’s Word and the gospel message. That’s why we offer special pricing options for children and youth, as well as free admission for every child 4 and under. And we’ve made it even easier for you to bring your entire youth, middle school, or Christian school group with our very popular Ark Encounter and Creation Museum Overnight Adventures programs.

Ooooooooooooh! Overnight adventures at Hambo’s infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum, and also at his exact replica of Noah’s Ark known as Ark Encounter. We wrote about this, ah, opportunity last year — see Sleepovers for Teens at Hambo’s Museum & Ark. Hambo says:

With our Overnight Adventures, groups with young people aged 9–17 spend the night at either the Ark Encounter or the Creation Museum. And each attraction has a different experience to offer. Here’s what you can expect with a Creation Museum Overnight Adventure:

Hambo gives us a list of the wonderful things that will happen at night at the museum — well, some of things:

• Flashlight tour of the Creation Museum. See all the exhibits in the dark — and keep your eyes open for the dinosaurs!
•Scavenger hunt
• Educational and entertaining videos
• Bedtime snack
• Delicious breakfast
• Private Stargazer Planetarium showing before the museum opens
• Tour the Museum, Eden Zoo, and botanical gardens during regular operating hours

Wowie — it’s everything a teenager could possibly want to do! And that was just the museum. Then he tells us:

An Overnight Adventure at the Ark Encounter includes:

• Admission to the Ark Encounter after regular operating hours, allowing your group to tour at their own pace
• Games
• Educational and entertaining videos
• Bedtime snack
• Delicious breakfast
• Behind-the-scenes tour of Ararat Ridge Zoo
• Tour the Ark, Ararat Ridge Zoo, and gardens during regular operating hours

As we said in our earlier post, we assume there are no bathing facilities, so the kiddies will awaken the next morning just like Noah and his family — unwashed, wearing the same clothes as the day before — ready for the day’s activities. Hambo continues:

These Overnight Adventures are reasonably priced and cheaper than putting the entire youth group up in paid accommodations. And, of course, it’s way more fun and offers exciting experiences not available otherwise. [Hee hee!]

Yeah — why pay for hotel rooms when the kiddies can sleep on the floor? Here’s our last excerpt:

Bring your youth or Christian school group to both the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum to equip them as we prepare the next generation to stand boldly on the authority of God’s Word and proclaim the gospel. Learn more, or book your Overnight Adventure, at ArkEncounter [Link omitted] and CreationMuseum. [Link omitted.]

So there you are, dear reader. And as we said in our earlier post: It’s a wonderful opportunity for the kiddies. What could go wrong?

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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11 responses to “Night at the Ark and the Creation Museum

  1. I’m missing the praying sessions.

  2. My first thought was that this adventure would be akin to Ben Stiller’s “Night at the Museum” movie where the displays would all come to life. Nah, disappointment only. But Ham’s staff might just jump out of the shadows and scare the poop out of the young’uns, adding that to their dirty clothes as a bonus. Otherwise it’s just another Ham ho-hum money maker effort to milk & bilk the guests.

  3. Stephen Kennedy

    I see the humorous side of this post due to the absurdity of the museum and the ark but I can not help but think of the dark side as well. Children participating in these events will be further indoctrinated into what can only be described as a cult. They are more likely to go grow up as ignorant as the parents that sent them to these events or have some type of crises when they finally learn that they have been lied to about reality all of their lives and their parents facilitated the lies.

  4. Holding The Line In Florida

    Maybe one brave inquisitive kid with some operative brain cells will start asking questions. That would be amusing to watch. Reminds me of a program of Uber America we were forced to go to in the 7th Grade presented by Ronald McDonald in 68. Smart ass me asked why we were in the Nam. I had enough history to compare it the American Civil War. After several questions I was asked to leave! Always considered that a badge of honor! I assume the results would be the same.

  5. Kids aged 9 to 17 roaming around in the dark. I can see lots of potential for interesting and consequential encounters. Is this part of a longterm planning strategy to offset a dwindling pool of creationists?

  6. docbill1351

    I took the Cub Scouts to Space Center Houston for an overnight, and we slept in the Astronaut Hall with a ceiling lit with constellations. It was great! About 100 of us crammed in there. Short night!

  7. “I took the Cub Scouts to Space Center Houston for an overnight …”

    But that is nothing like staying overnight within a creationist fantasy park on a scavenger hunt for the one TRUE bible.

  8. Eddie Janssen

    Ken Ham should invite 7 creationists (4 women and three men) and as many animals he thinks were on the Ark 2350 years ago, get enough food for two weeks and then lock up the Ark and keep everyone and every animal alive for those two weeks.
    If he manages to do that maybe his position would gain some credibility.

  9. “Night at the Creation Museum”

    Act 1, Scene 1:

    As the lights go out and doors are locked, the animatronics all come to life. Soon, the night watchman is startled as he’s approached by a naked Adam and Eve, who quickly begin relating to him their grievances with the museum staff and how they’re treated. “They provide no clothing, rarely dust us off, and you should see what Bodie Hodge does with us when no-one is looking!”.

  10. MAD Magazine wrote about “Charles Darwin’s Night At The Creation Museum” already in 2007. http://blog.creation.org/mad-magazine-parodies-aigs-creation-museum/

  11. .
    When I was a teen, the annual Christian Youth Camps and Christian Youth Conventions were hot spots for close encounters of the sexual kind.

    Here’s hoping this year’s kids can find suitable nooks and crannies in the dark Ark to make some Interesting Discoveries.

    @Stephen Kennedy:

    “Children participating in these events will be further indoctrinated into what can only be described as a cult. They are more likely to go grow up as ignorant as the parents that sent them to these events or have some type of crises when they finally learn that they have been lied to about reality all of their lives and their parents facilitated the lies.”

    You dark, man.

    I went through the same indoctrinations as a kid and emerged an unscathed atheist. And I’m talking 2 or 3 times a week from infancy thru high school, plus Xmas, Easter and the summer stuff (VBS, camp, conventions).

    If one night’s gonna scar these kids forever, I can guarantee you that they’re already multiply scarred. They will grow up no more ignorant than they otherwise would if they had gone to Disneyworld instead.

    And parents tell such a broad palette of lies to their kids, it would be hard to point out the exposure of any specific one that might have triggered a crisis or broken the back of their sanity.

    Breathe, man — inhale, exhale.