Self-Published Genius #97: The Sloppy Dresser

Creationists don’t generate any news these days, but there’s no shortage of them willing to write books. The total of these things in our collection is approaching 100, and today we have another new addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses. This is where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.

The title of the press release — it’s a long title — is Rev. David M. Brown’s Newly Released “Learning the ABCs: Apologetics, the Bible, and Creation” is an Awe-Inspiring Fount of Strength from a Brave Faith Defender. Like so many others in our collection, it was issued by Cision PRWeb, which says it’s “the leader in online news distribution and publicity.” Here are some excerpts from the press release, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

“Learning the ABCs: Apologetics, the Bible, and Creation”: a powerful and well-built defense against those who decry readers of the Bible stories, events, prophecies, and overall accuracy of the Bible. “Learning the ABCs: Apologetics, the Bible, and Creation” is the work of published author Rev. David M. Brown, a person who was shunned [Shunned?] by his church, ridiculed by its leaders because of shoddy clothing [What?], and chastised due to his father’s failures, but managed to prevail against the odds.

Wikipedia lists several people named David Brown. One is a now-deceased astronaut. Another is an Anglican priest. Our author today doesn’t seem to be any of them. The press release quotes the author:

Brown writes, “Archaeology has progressed tremendously in the last seventy years, especially in the field of biblical archaeology. It’s estimated that there are now over 6,500 discoveries in this field, verifying, illuminating, or bearing evidence for many of the people, places, stories, and events mentioned in the Bible. [Gasp!] Yet when I ask most Christians to name three, they cannot.”

The quote from the author continues:

“The same thing is now being found in science. There are vast amounts of discoveries, most coming from secular science, proving the fallibility and inaccuracies of evolution and the big bang. [Wow!] Tremendous evidence is coming forth in genetics proving dinosaurs are less than ten thousand years old, genetics proving man has been here for only about six to seven thousand years, that we didn’t evolve from monkeys over millions of years, and more. [Egad!] Yet most Christians are not privy to this information. … Many cannot defend their Bible, nor lead others to believe in it. This book teaches how to witness and make disciples with valid evidence for the Bible while tearing down the walls of evolution.”

Wowie — scientific discoveries that tear down the walls of evolution! This is wonderful information! The press release continues:

Published by Christian Faith Publishing [Aha!], Rev. David M. Brown’s new book is a fundamental tool that will help readers build a strong foundation to defend their faith against those who would disbelieve them.

They say the publisher is Christian Faith Publishing. That’s a name we’ve seen before. Here’s their website: Christian Faith Publishing. It leaves no doubt — they’re a vanity publisher. They even let authors pay their fees on a monthly installment plan. Okay, with that, and the press release, we know the book qualifies for our collection. Let’s read on:

With this book, Brown aims to let readers discover that believing with blind faith is akin to believing with ignorant faith.

Read that sentence again, dear reader. Instead of believing with blind faith, you should believe based on the amazing evidence the rev reveals in his book. Another excerpt:

View a synopsis of “Learning the ABCs: Apologetic, the Bible, and Creation” on YouTube. [Link omitted.]

We’ll skip the YouTube promotion. But we did find the book at Amazon. Here it is! It costs only $17.95 in paperback, and it’s got 270 pages. Hey — Amazon has a “Look inside” feature, so go ahead — look inside! There are no reviews yet, but that’s understandable. The book has only been available since March.

You may have noticed that neither Amazon nor the press release gives us any information about the author — except that he was shunned because of his shoddy clothing. But now we know what we need to know. His book sounds fantastic! You’re gonna buy it, aren’t you? Who wouldn’t? When you do, tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya!

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11 responses to “Self-Published Genius #97: The Sloppy Dresser

  1. “a powerful and well-built defense against those who decry readers of the Bible stories, events, prophecies, and overall accuracy of the Bible.”
    Let’s give it to Rev Davy – this nice blog proves every day why this is highly necessary. Unfortunately for him he doesn’t look like the one who’s going to build it. Already the Foreword demonstrates it: “Look at X! How did it possibly come into being?”
    a) “An unestimable long series of happy mutational accidents”;
    b) “A different way of answering [such] questions.

    Btw this is written by one Sorzano, former US ambassador at the UN.

    The preface contains a gem:

    “I had been an atheist, having given up on the existence of a loving God, thinking He had allowed my friends to die in Vietnam and my father to die when I was so young.”
    “Each step of the way [“learning to accept the Christian Bible”] I worried that I would someday find something that would send my faith crashing to the ground.

    Typical. When I tried it I was rather worried to find faith …..
    Or: how to lose credibility in three sentences 1.0.

  2. He writes for West Virginia’s biggest circulaion weekly, and his radio show goes out over 4 States. And he presents physical evidence of David’s fortress, of Solomon’s temple, and of the miracle at Cana, and much much more.

    So I was really keen to be convinced of the genetic evidence that shows that dinosaurs are only 10,000 years old, but unfortunately it’s not in the free sample

  3. “Archaeology has progressed tremendously in the last seventy years, especially in the field of biblical archaeology.”

    Like the reminder of the reverend’s willfully ignorant claims that is totally counterfactual because *Bible based* archeology has been dying out for decades since the archeological facts contradict the biblical fable claims.



    etc.

  4. Michael Fugate

    Shorter version of the book, “because some things in the Bible are true, everything in the Bible is true”.

  5. I bet that the good Rev gets all his information from creationist websites. That makes life so much easier!

  6. chris schilling

    If the rev thinks he can cut it in the harsh environment of Christian apologetics with his sloppy dressing, he better think again. He’s up against sartorial superstars like David Rives, for starters.

    The rev might wanna consider a name change, too: David Brown sounds more like the sort of beige non-entity on your local news station (“Here’s the weather, with the Reverend David Brown”), not a moniker befitting someone who’s on a mission from God.

    “Praxiteles Endoscopy”: now there’s a name to get people’s attention.

  7. The Rev’s bold claims regarding genetics haven’t appeared in any of the literature I read. I’m sure his claims would have made headlines. Sounds like another book of falsehoods and conspiracy theories. These folks just never give up, and this rev seems more confused than most of his kind.

  8. Scientist says: “The Rev’s bold claims regarding genetics haven’t appeared in any of the literature I read.”

    A lot of creationists — maybe most of them — have no idea what the professional literature is. Those who do know, like the Discoveroids, always say that they’re part of the Darwinist conspiracy.

  9. No dino DNA, no dino genetics. Except that birds have therapod ancestors, so bird genetics is the closest we’re going to get to dinos. Bird phylogeny for living birds shows roots at least 50 million years deep. So this doesn’t help the Rev at all.

  10. @Biokid, it’s far worse than that for the Rev. Avian phylogeny roots with crocodile phylogeny in the Archosaur clade, the split between Pseudosuchia (ancestral to gators) and Avemetatarsalia/Ornithodira (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archosaur being over 200 Mybp (http://www.timetree.org/ search on alligator/gull).

    But my interest was/is, where did the Rev get his genetic evidence that shows that dinosaurs are only 10,000 years old? We know the creationists are hopelessly wrong, but I never give up hope of learning something by coming to understand what led them to their conclusions, especially when they make so specific a claim

  11. Michael Fugate

    Given that there are no citations in the “look inside” sections on history, I doubt there will be any on science.