Today’s letter-to-the-editor was brought to our attention by our clandestine operative in Kentucky — code named “Bluegrass.” It appears in the Idaho State Journal of Pocatello, Idaho. The letter is titled RE: Kay Merriam, and the newspaper doesn’t seem to have a comments feature.
Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is Albert. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!
I keep saying, “The Bible is God’s ONLY written word to us.” [Hooray for Albert!] On Aug. 25, 2019, Kay Merriam wrote in this newspaper, “Earth is now at its warmest in 120,000 years. … Carbon dioxide is at its highest in a million years.” This is untrue!
Albert is probably referring to this: Small things you can do to help the climate. Kay Merriam is a contributor to that newspaper. She was president of the state League of Women Voters for two years and president of the Pocatello chapter for two years as well. Albert says her column is untrue, and he tells us why:
The National Geographic, anti-Christian writers, the ISU museum [presumably Idaho State University] all promote the lie of evolution and in billions of years.
Ooooooooooooh! Evolution is a lie! Albert says:
In Kentucky, Answers in Genesis has the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter. [Yeah!] The museum explains the seven C’s of history.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! We once wrote about that — see Ten-Foot Wide Creationist Wall Chart. Albert’s referring to an item in Hambo’s gift shop — a huge wall chart, about which Hambo says: “The Seven C’s of History provide a framework for understanding the true history of the universe as presented in the Bible.”
We always wondered who would buy a thing like that. Now we know — it’s Albert. He’s probably got it up on his bedroom wall. Let’s see what he says about the Seven C’s:
First is Creation. God created the world in six ordinary 24-hour days about 6,000 years ago. The Hebrew word for day in Genesis chapter 1 is “Yom,” (a literal 24-hour day). Second is Corruption. The Garden of Eden was perfect but Adam and Eve sinned. God revealed a coming Saviour, Jesus Christ. Catastrophe is the third C. God instructed Noah to build the ark. The entire world was flooded about 4,400 years ago. Noah and seven family members plus animals including dinosaurs were on the ark.
Those are the first three C’s. There’s four more to go. Albert continues:
The next C was Confusion. The disobedient descendants of Noah decided to stay in one place on the earth after the flood and build the Tower of Babel. God confused their language with several different languages so they had to scatter worldwide. The fifth C is Christ. Because of man’s sin, God send his only Son, Jesus Christ, as a saviour. He’s the most important person in all of history. The Cross is the sixth C and that is where Jesus died to atone for sin. Nobody else can save us. There is no salvation in any other name except Jesus Christ.
Ooooooooooooh! And there’s still one more to go. Here it is:
Consummation is the seventh C. [Huh?] In the beginning, God had created a beautiful world but because of sin death, disease, pain and suffering occurred. God will make a new heaven and a new earth one day. If you have repented and believed in what Christ did on the cross, you will be in this new heaven and earth.
In case you didn’t already know it, in addition to his other accomplishments, Hambo is the world’s greatest historian. Albert then informs us:
Here is God’s plan for you. First, God loves you (John 3:16). Second, all are sinners (Romans 3:23). Third, God has a remedy for sins (Romans 6:23). Fourth, all may be saved now (Romans 10:13). Fifth, you can receive Christ as your Saviour. Sixth, seek a Bible believing church. Seventh, Romans 10:9 gives you assurance as a believer.
Albert finishes his letter with some advice for the columnist who was so terribly wrong:
Kay Merriam should travel to Kentucky to visit the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter.
That’s good advice, Albert — not just for Kay Merriam, but for everyone — especially you, dear reader.
Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.