Creationist Wisdom #985: Proof of Miracles

Today’s letter-to-the-editor is actually a column, and it’s one of the strangest we’ve seen in a long time. The title is Science proves God sends a miracle from across the universe

It appears at the website of ABS-CBN Corporation, which describes itself as “the Philippines’ leading media and entertainment organization.” They’re located in Quezon City, the most populous city in the Philippines. It doesn’t look like they have a comments feature.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is Robert. They say he spent 22 years in the advertising business, and now he’s a writer for ABS-CBN. Excerpts from his column will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!

Scientists’ account of how life began shows how God can make anything possible. [Right!] Four and a quarter billion years ago, Earth was just a barren rock. No plants, no animals, no human life. Then from so far away in the Universe, a heavenly body out of orbit came crashing into the earth. From this explosive collision, a chunk was thrown into space and became our moon.

Okay, now what? Robert says:

The impact of the smash-up pushed Earth to the sweet spot where life would be possible — the perfect distance from the sun! If our planet was slightly closer, all water would evaporate. If the earth was slightly farther, all water would freeze. If the distance was only 2% different from today, life on Earth would be impossible!

We’ve always thought the Sun’s habitable zone was a bit more forgiving. Anyway, Robert tells us:

The earth is not even supposed to be where it is now. All planets in our solar system are placed on an exponential pattern, every planet twice farther from the sun than the previous one. Except for Earth! Someone flexed the rules!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! He’s talking about the old Titius–Bode law. We can’t remember the last time that was seriously mentioned. Robert’s column is fantastic! He continues:

The collision also resulted in the perfect size for our home planet. If Earth was just slightly bigger, its gravity will be too strong and it would not allow deadly gasses like methane and ammonia to evaporate into space. If the earth was just a bit smaller, its gravity would not be able to keep the life-giving gasses in our atmosphere. If our planet’s size was just slightly different, any form of life would not exist on earth!

Ooooooooooooh! Everything is perfect! Let’s read on:

The rotational axis and speed of our planet were also perfected. [Blah blah.] The size of our moon is perfect, too. [Blah blah.] These facts convince scientists that God played favorites and fine-tuned these conditions in order to make life happen. That’s because the chance of that wayward rock randomly colliding with Earth was statistically impossible! [Blah blah.]

The list of miracles goes on:

He also protected Earth by hiding it behind Jupiter. [Huh?] It is this gigantic planet that shields us from passing comets and asteroids.

You didn’t know that about Jupiter, did you? Well, you can thank Robert for the information. Want another miracle? Here ya go:

All current scientific knowledge considered, scientists estimate that even if there would be 10 billion billion planets in the universe, it is still impossible for one to become like Earth if there was no divine intervention.

Convincing stuff, huh? Here’s another excerpt:

When we think that what we are asking for in prayer is not easy, we can think that our God has done so much more impossible things. If he can send a rock from the other side of the universe to hit Earth, He can send any unexpected opportunity to come into our lives. Maybe it’s the investor we’ve been praying for. Maybe it’s a friend who will solve our problem. Maybe it’s a talent agent looking for the next big star. Maybe it’s a long-lost relative who will leave us a huge fortune. Maybe it’s a long-lost parent or sibling.

Or maybe it’s a column like Robert’s that we can add to our collection. Here’s more:

When we think that God doesn’t even know who we are, we can think that He knows every atom in the universe. Scientists have said that if there was one atom in excess, the whole design would be upset! [Gasp!] “Even the hairs on your head are all numbered.” (Matthew 10:30, Luke 12:7)

And now we come to the end:

I don’t have statistical proof that God answers every prayer. But my human mind is too limited to comprehend God. I am not qualified to say that He does not perform miracles.

Then he gives a list of books as references. Hey — if Robert uses them, so can you! You gotta admit, he seems to know his stuff.

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14 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #985: Proof of Miracles

  1. “He also protected Earth by hiding it behind Jupiter. It is this gigantic planet that shields us from passing comets and asteroids.”

    There is some reality to that. Earth is behind Jupiter, from the point of view of the Kuiper Belt, where comets originate. This will generally be true of solar systems that contain a giant outer planet, and smaller inner planets. However, as the dinosaurs discovered, Jupiter is no protection at all against asteroids.

    I notice that Robert has us praying for purely secular things, mainly money. Is this better or worse than telling us to believe absurdities for the sake of eternal salvation?

  2. chris schilling

    Who sent the bloody comets and asteroids in the first place?

  3. And indeed, who sent the bad financial adviser?

  4. Always amazed how the christANULs can put science out their butts when it matches their pet BS, and then deny it when it shows the BS as BS.

  5. What do you want? Do you want a universe with rules of naure set up so that
    there is life on Earth, and human life, and me? Then God did that.
    If you want a God who can work miraces to get his way. Then God did that.
    Fine.
    But why go through all of the palaver?
    Just let us know that whatever, God s the answer.

  6. Michael Fugate

    Soundtrack from Pinocchio
    “When you wish upon a star”
    “Little wooden head”
    But not
    “I’ve got not strings”
    since God is the grand puppeteer.

  7. OOOh, Pinocchio! Is that the one with the great lyric:

    “I got no flies to fly around,
    To make me think Bob’s thought is sound,
    I had flies, but now I’m free,
    There are no flies on me.”

  8. Robert convinced me that the smash-up that created the moon also pushed the earth to a “sweet spot” where life is possible. From there on, whatever Robert says gets an “amen” from me. I’m not going to argue with a sweet spot.

  9. I am somewhat puzzled by two sentences in Robert’s last paragraph:
    “I don’t have statistical proof that God answers every prayer”
    “I am not qualified to say that He does not perform miracles”

    What is he trying to tell us?

  10. @hans435, I, too, have no idea what Bob means by the first of those. Obviously, God answers every prayer, if you allow that “No” is an answer, which is a apology I have encountered before now. It is conceivably possible that Bob is ironically pointing out that nobody can say that God does NOT perform miracles, because that would be an absolute universal negative – but somehow, I know not how, I get the impression that so fine a point of abstract philosophy would be a little too fancy-schmancy for Bob.

  11. “he can send a rock from the other side of the universe to hit Earth”
    but needs Jupiter to protect the Earth from being hit by other rocks. Sure.
    Hey, Robert, thanks to man’s sinful nature another epic catastrophe is happening right now: climate change. Here’s your chance! You and your fellows should start begin praying right now, iso writing silly letters and blogposts. Who knows, I might convert!

  12. chris schilling

    Ode to a Creationist Ad-man:

    I think that I shall never see
    An asteroid wipe out you and me
    Praise God! Hip-hip-hoorah!
    He went and gave us Jupi-tah!

    — no apologies to Joyce Kilmer

  13. What a crock … why not just hold a hand up to the night sky and say “See? God!”

    Apparently “God” is the reason for all low probability events. I wish I had know that when I was studying statistics.

  14. How do you mean, SteveR – when you win a lottery, don’t you exclaim “thank God”?