Hambo’s Conference for Creationist Ladies

Ladies, this is what you’ve been waiting for! Look what we found at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. The title is Be Refreshed and Challenged with Truth at Answers for Women 2020. Hambo wrote it himself! Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

There are so many lies marketed at Christians, disguised as truth. [Really? We never noticed.] Some are obvious — others are sneaky, cloaked in half-truths and out-of-context Bible verses. Satan mixes truth with error to confuse us and lead us astray. [That’s terrible!] The only way to defend ourselves against these lies is to know the truth. That arms us against the lies of the enemy.

Hambo’s right. You gotta know The Truth. He says:

That’s why the theme for our 2020 Answers for Women conference (March 27–28, 2020) is “Truth: Uncovering the Lies We Believe.” [Link omitted.] This conference, taking place in the 2,500-seat Answers Center at the Ark Encounter in Northern Kentucky, will answer questions such as:

Ooooooooooooh! It’ll be at the Ark Encounter! How wonderful! Hambo then gives us a long list of conference topics. Some of them are:

• Can we redefine holiness to make certain sins more acceptable?
• Can we pick and choose which parts of the Bible we accept as truth?
• Does saying a certain practice is “Christian” really make it so?
• Are out-of-context Bible verses appropriate as motivational encouragements?

Will this be a great conference or what? Hambo continues:

Hear from speakers such as [list of creationists], myself, and many more. We will combat some of the lies that have crept into the church and Christian books, blogs, and media. As always, we will be directing people back to the authority and truthfulness of the Word of God — the only firm, unchanging foundation of truth.

It’s gonna be amazing! And that’s not all — get this:

We don’t shy away from dealing with such issues as we equip God’s people to build a truly Christian worldview based on the absolute authority of his infallible Word.

It’s everything you ever dreamed of! Another excerpt:

Registration [Link omitted.] to this unique conference includes a pass for one year to both the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum (45 freeway minutes away) for each registered attendee — this means you can visit both attractions as many times as you would like for one whole year! [Gasp!] And you can upgrade your registration to an annual pass for your whole family.

Ladies, what are you waiting for? Register now! And when you get there, tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya.

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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24 responses to “Hambo’s Conference for Creationist Ladies

  1. • Can we redefine holiness to make certain sins more acceptable?
    • Can we pick and choose which parts of the Bible we accept as truth?
    • Does saying a certain practice is “Christian” really make it so?
    • Are out-of-context Bible verses appropriate as motivational encouragements?

    This sounds exactly like the fundy program supporting Trump. They ignore what they don’t like to hear and seek only actions that lead to giving them more power and influence.

  2. Snuffing carefully at the Hambo wind, I detect a certain odour of apostasy. Savour the sentence, “We will combat some of the lies that have crept into the church and Christian books, blogs, and media.” What, only some of them? How many lies come from those sources, then? How corrupt and fallen is the rest of Christianity, apart from Ham?

    Ham never could stand not to be the big frog in the pond. He always had to break from the rest, even the rest of the fundagelicals. Fellow-travellers there may be, but Ham drives the train, and he now also lays the tracks. And where are those tracks now leading?

    Ham runs what he calls a “ministry”. One might ask who he ministers to, other than the pocket and ego of Ken Ham, but that aside. A “ministry” is one thing, but Ham is now claiming to discern the errors and, yes, the lies of the rest of the Christian church. Lies, no less. Ham uses the word repeatedly, of his fellow-Christians.

    Secular humanists, agnostics, atheists, materialists and such-like lost souls, are led by Satan to believe lies from the pit of Hell, of course. We’re used to being told that, around here. But Ham is now accusing the rest of the Christian church, even the part of it that he comes from, even the whackdoodle fundamentalist wholly rollers, of being led by the same Father of Lies. Wow.

    So… where to now, on the Ham train? The obvious and necessary outcome is that Ham must shake the dust of the Church from his feet. It believes, it spreads, lies from the mouth of Satan. He must say to its pastors, its ministers, its priests, as Jesus said to the pharisees, that the Devil is their Father. He must call on those who would seek the truth to follow him.

    I think Ken is about to crown himself as a prophet, and found his own religion.

  3. @Dave Luckett
    Yes, and from where does he get stuff like the super-fast micro-evolution restricted to kinds after the Flood? There is nothing in the Bible about anything like that.

  4. Ham just crowns himself as the final arbitrator of all Truth.
    Of course, we don’t take the solid firmament and other inconvenient stuff literally. It is utmost arrogance the way he calls all other Christians liars and deceived. He has his followers (same as certain politicians have) and they will follow him wherever he goes.
    Isn’t that the definition of a cult?

  5. Michael Fugate

    Ham needs to write a creed – like the Nicene Creed – with all the extra stuff one needs to affirm to get to heaven. Like “created the heavens and the earth in 6 24 hour days 6000 years ago” and “a global flood laid down all fossils”.

  6. Our dear SC underestimates himself and us:

    “There are so many lies marketed at Christians, disguised as truth.”
    “[Really? We never noticed.]”
    Aren’t we all quite busy exposing all the lies Ol’Hambo, Klincklekclapper etc. continue to market at christians?!

    “Satan mixes truth with error to confuse us and lead us astray.”
    Then Ol’Hambo is only one of Satan’s instruments, because this is exactly his schtick. Take for instance this:

    “Can we pick and choose which parts of the Bible we accept as truth?”
    I bet that Ol’Hambo will say no and the next moment reject the flat earth, the Biblical value of pi and the classification of bats as birds.

  7. TomS: No, nothing like that in the Bible. Hyperevolution after the Flood is a supposition based on the idea that Noah couldn’t have fitted all the current species in the Ark, and so most of them must have appeared since the Flood. This is in itself a denial of Scripture, since the Bible states plainly that Noah was to take “living creatures of every kind” into the Ark (Genesis 6:19.) If what entered the Ark was “every kind” of creature, to suppose that more kinds self-generated afterwards is to deny the sufficiency of God’s original creation.

    But far worse is the supposition is that God could not have made it so. God required that every species enter the Ark and be saved. What is Man, to reason that this was impossible for God? Is God to be limited by such petty considerations as deck space, or time, or mucking-out? If God ordained that all species were to fit in the Ark, then fit they would. To suppose otherwise is to deny Scripture. To fabricate some other explanation – hyperevolution, quotha? – is to fall foul of the last verse in the Bible.

    But there. That’s what comes of human arrogance, folly and hypocrisy, all of which Ken Ham possesses in abundance.

  8. chris schilling

    “Satan mixes truth with error to confuse us and lead us astray.”

    Who needs Satan? Evangelicals do it to themselves every time they crack open their Bible and take it literally.

  9. @Dave Luckett
    Yes. One could take the stand that
    we don’t know how that was accomplished. And it is not vital for salvation, so it is just a waate of time to speculate about it. Or, perhaps even a trap set for the true believer.
    BTW, the Hebrew phrase “according to his/their kind” is not clear. “Kind” need not refer to a taxonomic category (species, genus, family, etc.) – the concept of species, for example, seems to be a product of a couple of a couple of thousands of years after the writing of Genesis; and thus the puzzle about
    fitting all of the species could be just a pseudo-problem constructed by moserns in imposing an anachronism. There are hints in the Bible of
    acceptance of spontaneous generation, such as the generation of bees in the carcass of a lion in the story of Samson: Jidges 14. Not all creation of animals need be confined to Genesis 1.

  10. Karl Goldsmith

    ” It’ll be at the Ark Encounter!” Everything is being held in the Answers Centre at the Ark, it’s a way of inflating numbers for the Ark.

    Oh Ken what a scam, now before this pastor conference next month, every conference ticket included a combi ticket and cost what £80-$90, the Answers Centre only opened this year and already they have used the price of an annual ticket as the price of a conference $149. I wonder if that will become standard for every conference.

  11. Michael Fugate

    So true Dave.
    All those verses in the NT claim if you had faith you could move mountains or anything is possible through Jesus. Noah must have had more faith than most so why wouldn’t anything and everything be possible.

  12. He forgot one:

    – Can we pick and choose which parts of the Bible we accept as *literal*?

    Now he’s got his *ss covered.

  13. If Hambo doesn’t insist on the firmament and the flat earth, what will the ladies think of his demand that they don’t pick and choose which parts of the Bible they believe?

  14. The Hamster’s list of “questions” to be “answered” at the conference says everything you need to know. He couldn’t stack the deck any more obviously if he tried.

  15. Business is increasing. No thinking allowed.

  16. If you play Sensuous Curmudgeon backwards it clearly says, “I am Satan. I am Satan.”

  17. I generally avoid the “flat earth” stuff and stick to bats being birds and, my personal favourite, storehouses full of snow and lightning bolts. The latter is just a lovely bit of mythological imagery, but the language is incredibly clear that it’s a large room with meteorological phenomena locked up in it.

  18. @Jim Roberts
    The thing about bats being birds is just a matter of terminology. In this case, it is just that modern taxonomy is an anachronism for the Ancient Near East. The storehouse of snow is in Job 38, but I don’t recall a storehouse of lightning bolts.
    This sort of thing is a matter of rhetoric, rather than strict logic and science.
    The issue is what meaning can one wring out of the Bible, and what counts as “obviously meant figuratively”. For a long time, great numbers of Bible-believing Christians knew that the Earth wasn’t flat, and were comfortable with not taking literally the texts about the flat Earth. You’re not going to make any progress is arguing against this point of view.
    IMHO, it is difficult, if not impossible, to argue that the geocentric texts of the Bible are obviously meant figuratively. After all, nobody noticed that they might not be meant literally until about the year 1500 or so.Galileo, when he made that suggestion, was challenged to find a precedent for that, and failed. And that wasn’t only the Catholics. Luther complained about Copernicus. The criterion says that texts are to be considered only figuratively only when that is obvious. Another criterion would be when the science is clear to the non-specialist. ISTM that the science supporting the heliocentric model of the Solar System requires at least years of post-secondary education in astronomy, physics and mathematics.

  19. Michael Fugate

    I think the point is that the OT is not really important for Christian salvation – Christianity jettisoned almost all of Judaism and mainly used the OT to give itself authority. This is one reason of many why Ham is doing harm to Christianity.

  20. @TomS: “In this case, it is just that modern taxonomy is an anachronism for the Ancient Near East.”
    Of course. But the creationist god is of and for all times, including ours …..

  21. @FrankB
    If tuna are fish and sharks are fish, then cows are fish. I thnk that it is ureasonable to expect that the Bible treats cows as fish.

  22. @TomS: I think it’s reasonable to expect that creationists are unreasonable. So “bats are birds” (and “pi equals 3”) is not scoffing the Bible, as so many incorrectly take it. It’s mocking literalists and their idiot, stupid (unreasonable is even an understatement) interpretations.

  23. Michael Fugate

    Yes, Frank B. It is the silliness of the modern creationists with their claims that the Bible says X therefore science is wrong and the claim that the Bible doesn’t say Y therefore science is right, when the Bible doesn’t actually say X, but does actually say Y.