Ladies, this is what you’ve been waiting for! Look what we found at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. The title is Be Refreshed and Challenged with Truth at Answers for Women 2020. Hambo wrote it himself! Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
There are so many lies marketed at Christians, disguised as truth. [Really? We never noticed.] Some are obvious — others are sneaky, cloaked in half-truths and out-of-context Bible verses. Satan mixes truth with error to confuse us and lead us astray. [That’s terrible!] The only way to defend ourselves against these lies is to know the truth. That arms us against the lies of the enemy.
Hambo’s right. You gotta know The Truth™. He says:
That’s why the theme for our 2020 Answers for Women conference (March 27–28, 2020) is “Truth: Uncovering the Lies We Believe.” [Link omitted.] This conference, taking place in the 2,500-seat Answers Center at the Ark Encounter in Northern Kentucky, will answer questions such as:
Ooooooooooooh! It’ll be at the Ark Encounter! How wonderful! Hambo then gives us a long list of conference topics. Some of them are:
• Can we redefine holiness to make certain sins more acceptable?
• Can we pick and choose which parts of the Bible we accept as truth?
• Does saying a certain practice is “Christian” really make it so?
• Are out-of-context Bible verses appropriate as motivational encouragements?
Will this be a great conference or what? Hambo continues:
Hear from speakers such as [list of creationists], myself, and many more. We will combat some of the lies that have crept into the church and Christian books, blogs, and media. As always, we will be directing people back to the authority and truthfulness of the Word of God — the only firm, unchanging foundation of truth.
It’s gonna be amazing! And that’s not all — get this:
We don’t shy away from dealing with such issues as we equip God’s people to build a truly Christian worldview based on the absolute authority of his infallible Word.
It’s everything you ever dreamed of! Another excerpt:
Registration [Link omitted.] to this unique conference includes a pass for one year to both the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum (45 freeway minutes away) for each registered attendee — this means you can visit both attractions as many times as you would like for one whole year! [Gasp!] And you can upgrade your registration to an annual pass for your whole family.
Ladies, what are you waiting for? Register now! And when you get there, tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya.
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