The excitement is growing as the countdown creeps closer to 1,000. Once again we find our entertainment in the Brainerd Dispatch of Brainerd, Minnesota. Today’s letter-to-the-editor is titled For the children, and the newspaper doesn’t have a comments feature.
This one is yet another reaction to the news we mentioned a couple of weeks ago in Drooling School Board Chairwoman. That was about Sue Kern, chairwoman of the school board of Brainerd, Minnesota, who couldn’t figure out why the schools were teaching evolution. The last time one of Susie’s admirers inspired one of our posts was #991: Unlimited Idiocy. Now we have another.
Because the letter writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is Tony. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!
Although Sue Kern has proven to be a very weak choice for the position of school board member [Oh?], her question on teaching evolution raises an interesting point.
What interesting point did Susie raise — other than her competence to run the school system? Tony says:
Progressives in academia [Whoever they are] push evolution as gospel (no pun intended) because “science” has been unable to validate creation, yet they believe science has proven the theory of evolution. Really?
No, Tony. Evolution isn’t gospel, it’s science — not “proven,” but very well supported by evidence and contradicted by none. That’s why it’s taught in the public schools. Creationism is religion. It’s that simple. But Tony doesn’t get it. He tells us:
Would this be the same science that told us the earth was flat? [Huh?] Would this be the same science that told us the earth was the center of the universe? [Head desk!]
Flat Earth and the geocentric universe are right out of scripture. That stuff isn’t science at all. But Tony’s assault on “science” continues:
Would this be the same science that told us doctors didn’t have to wash their hands after surgery? Would this be the same science that would have us believe that our climate is somehow being destroyed by plastic straws?
No, Tony. The bible that didn’t tell us anything about bacteria. Science had to discover its existence and figure out that physicians should wash their hands. As for plastic straws, if the bible tells you to use them, go right ahead.
Tony now gives us his most brilliant swipe at science:
And, as the comic said, “If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes?”
Comic? Is Tony talking about a Jack Chick comic? Anyway, that’s what creationists say — and Tony probably thinks it’s a great question. Now, quite satisfied that he has completely demolished science, Tony defends the drooling school board chairwoman:
Mrs. Kern was completely right to question this, although unfortunately, she easily caved to the progressives of public education. She apparently has no stomach to staunchly resist the destruction of our children [Destruction!] and therefore has no business being on the school board, regardless of her position on this particular issue.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Susie shouldn’t be on the school board because she’s not creationist enough! This letter is pure gold! And now we come to the end:
In fact, none of her colleagues do either. They are all willing to weaponize our children in the name of a cruel ideology.
That was quite an ark-load. Once again we are grateful to Susie Kern for whipping things up in Brainerd, Minnesota.
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