We found a nice, goofy title at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia. He’s the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. The title is Tour the Grand Canyon from a Biblical Perspective. It’s at ol’ Hambo’s personal blog, so presumably he wrote it himself. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
We recently had a special guest speaker at one of our regular staff meetings, Jon Albert, the head of Canyon Ministries [link omitted]. This ministry conducts tours of the Grand Canyon that teach geology from a Christian worldview [Wowie!], from the foundation of the Genesis accounts of creation and the global flood. And you can join them for a bus or hiking tour in Northern Arizona.
Isn’t this exciting? Hambo says:
Over the years, AiG has held several dozen raft trips on the Colorado River and through the Canyon with Canyon Ministries. I’ve been on one of the shorter raft trips, and it was a thrill. [No doubt.]
Then he tells us:
Staff geologist Dr. Andrew Snelling and historian of geology and theologian Dr. Terry Mortenson have been on dozens of these raft trips with Canyon Ministries. Other AiG speakers and researchers, including astronomer Dr. Danny Faulkner and popular speaker Bryan Osborne, have also led several of these trips.
Our 2020 raft trips are already sold out (they have been for a while!). [Oh, how disappointing!] But I encourage you to look at the possibility of taking a rim tour on one of Jon’s small buses (seating 13 people each) or taking a guided hike and discovering how the remarkable Grand Canyon confirms the biblical history.
Wow — the Grand Canyon confirms the bible! Your geology professors never told you that, did they? Let’s read on:
If you’d like to join a raft trip that is sold out, you can be added to the waitlist at [link omitted].
Don’t delay, dear reader. Get on that waitlist! Here’s another excerpt:
We’re thrilled to be able to work with other like-minded organizations, like Canyon Ministries. [Who wouldn’t be thrilled?] This ministry complements ours in a specialty area by running these educational tours at the Grand Canyon (with teaching based on flood geology). [Ooooooooooooh! Flood geology!] We highly recommend these tours to our supporters.
Well, dear reader — what are you waiting for? Oh, wait — here’s a little bit more:
Find out more about this excellent ministry at [link omitted].
You probably didn’t know that the Grand Canyon is evidence for the bible, did you? Now you know, so hurry and take one of those tours. And tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya!
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