Creationist Wisdom #1,001: A Hambo Visitor

Today’s second letter-to-the-editor appears in the Herald-News of Joliet, Illinois. It’s titled Ark Encounter well worth a visit, and it’s the second letter at that link. The newspaper doesn’t have a comments section.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is Ray. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!

Hats off to Mark Looy [the co-founder of Answers in Genesis] and the article he wrote about the Creation Museum, the Ark Encounter and Ken Ham.

We don’t know what article Ray is talking about, but it doesn’t matter. He says:

My wife and I took a trip to see the ark in southern Kentucky [Southern Kentucky? Hee hee!] and had the opportunity to listen to Ham, and it was inspiring as was the ark itself. [Ooooooooooooh! Inspiring!]

Who wouldn’t be inspired? Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) is the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. Ray says:

If you take a trip down there you will not be disappointed. And if you have an opportunity to hear Ham speak, you will be inspired, not only with his discussion of the building of the ark but his talk about creation.

Ray was so fortunate to hear Ham speak. After that he tells us:

One thing he said that sticks with me was his discussion of the origin of men and women (Adam and Eve) the origins of the creatures of the Earth. His knowledge of the Bible is phenomenal, especially of Genesis. [Ooooooooooooh!] He commented on the ongoing differences between the people of the Earth as why we differentiate blacks, whites, reds and yellows. His lecture on the origin of men, women and the creatures of the Earth was inspiring.

Even more inspiration! Ray continues:

Equally inspiring [Inspiring!] were the singers he had on stage. They had us clapping and raising our arm’s and stamping our feet.

Wowie! If you want some of that good ol’ fashioned, down-home, foot-stompin’, hand-clappin’, psalm-singin’, floor-rollin’, rafter-shakin’, old-time creationism, Hambo’s creationist empire may be just what you’re looking for. Let’s read on:

Later they brought out a grand piano and had Ham demonstrated his musical talent.

We already knew about ol’ Hambo’s amazing spiritual and scientific accomplishments, but we didn’t know that he also had musical talent. He never ceases to amaze. Here’s another excerpt:

As you can see, my wife and I truly enjoyed ourselves. So, if you are looking for a short vacation, visit the Creation Museum and the ark. And while you are in the area, take a short ride down a little ways and visit the Kentucky Country Music Museum.

Great suggestion! Ray ends his letter on a strange note:

One last thing, be sure to bring your checkbook and or credit cards.

That’s good advice for any vacation. But why would he go out of his way to mention it in a letter about ol’ Hambo’s ministry?

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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6 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #1,001: A Hambo Visitor

  1. “One last thing, be sure to bring your checkbook and or credit cards.”
    Scamville alert! Upon entering each venue you must check and leave these items at the entrance, a lot thinner when you retrieve them and depart.

  2. chris schilling

    “They had us clapping and raising our arm’s [sic] and stamping our feet.”

    Holy moly! And you thought the Baptist church scene in ‘The Blues Brothers’ was some funky, jive-ass inspiration! Jesus H.Tap dancing Christ, but Ray has seen the Light! So inspired, he went and threw his Thesaurus away! Who needs synonyms when you’ve got Ken Ham and the Bible for inspiration?

    (Steven Wright: “What’s another word for Thesaurus?”)

    “…a grand piano and had Ham demonstrated [sic] his musical talent.”

    Is there no end to the man’s accomplishments? Is Ken now the Liberace of Creationism?

  3. @ chris schilling: “Is Ken now the Liberace of Creationism?”

    Well, they’re alike in one, if only one, attribute. Both have the same response to criticism: they cry all the way to the bank.

    Not having heard Ham play – and having no plans to gain that experience – I cannot say for sure, but I strongly suspect that Liberace was a far greater master of the keyboard.

  4. “listen to Ham, and it was inspiring as was the ark itself”
    I would say the first is more inspiring – at least Ol’Hambo manages to make me laugh now and then.

    “One last thing, be sure to bring your checkbook and or credit cards.”
    How disappointing. I’m doomed to die without ever having heard Ol’Hambo’s inspirational talks and see his mind-boggling displays. See, I don’t use and hence don’t own either. For me it’s either cash or my debit card.

  5. Clapping, waving and footstomping? Perhaps they were inspirited rather more than inspired.

  6. Sounds like Ray is good old down home simple man!

    This is Ken Ham… check to make sure it’s not a Disklavier (player piano) and he’s faking it.