Hambo Will Be Crusading in Australia Again

This is great news for Australia, and also for America. As he did last year — see Hambo Is Going To Rescue AustraliaKen Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else — will be returning to Australia for a few days to preach The Truth.

He just posted Join Me in Sunny Queensland, Australia, Jan 31–Feb 2 at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

In just a few months, I’m headed “down under” to speak at a special conference in sunny Queensland, Australia. I’ll be speaking at Dunamis Church in Tanah Merah on Friday night, January 31, and again Sunday morning, February 2. I hope you can join me!

Isn’t that wonderful? For a blessed few days, Hambo will be in Australia — and away from the US. He says:

Over those two days, I’ll be giving four talks, including:

Science Confirms the Bible [Oh yeah!]
• Six Days and the Authority of Scripture
• Genesis Foundations and How to Impact the Culture
• There’s Only One Race! Genetics and the Human Family

Wowie — everyone in Australia will be flocking to that church to hear Hambo’s wisdom. Then he tells us:

If you live in the Tanah Merah area, I encourage you to join me at this free conference. [Link omitted.]

Wowie! It’s free! He continues:

You’ll be equipped to think biblically [How wonderful!], beginning in Genesis, on science, the age of the earth, so-called “race,” and more. I hope to see you there!

Unfortunately, your Curmudgeon won’t be going. Here’s the end of Hambo’s post:

Answers in Genesis is having a phenomenal impact in Australia. AiG speaker Bryan Osborne spent over two months in Australia speaking at about 50 events in the major cities and other areas across this vast nation. I hope you can join me at Dunamis Church in January or February.

Okay, dear reader. We’ve done our part — we’ve given you the news. Now it’s up to you. If you plan to be on the flip side of the flat Earth, then why not attend ol’ Hambo’s event? And if you go — you know what’s coming, don’t you?– tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent ya.

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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17 responses to “Hambo Will Be Crusading in Australia Again

  1. I don’t have any poll data,but from what I see online I think that sunny Queensland really *is* a hotbed of Creationism

  2. “Answers in Genesis is having a phenomenal impact in Australia.”
    When will our own DaveL start reporting?

  3. Michael Fugate

    Is “thinking” allowed at a Ham crusade?

  4. Oh dear. Fully cooked and spiral sliced glazed, smoked Australian ham. Sour, straight from the Bronze Age. Unadulterated, no hormones, wack a doodle Hammer preacher casserole complete with pi equals three and a side of burning bush. But hammy isn’t going to cross the Pacific using petroleum products is he ?? Because that would be a tacit admission that applied history sciences like modern geology work.
    Therefore there will have to be a miraculous transportation of the phony Stone Age mad man across the Samoan and Fijian island chains to the land of the gullible in whatever heck hole he’s preaching in this week.
    Plus a quick visit to the bank to drop off a few hundred thousand in profits.

  5. PaulB: Queensland is the closest thing Australia has to a Bible belt, but even Queensland is not very close to one. The further north you go, generally, the less fervent it gets. Outback Queenslanders pride themselves on a laconic and unimpressed cynicism. But Tanah Merah, which for some inexplicable reason, is a Malay phrase meaning “red soil” (undoubtedly a fair description), is a southern dormitory suburb of Brisbane. Median 3-bedroom house price (fully-detached, single-floor) is $A450K, which puts it well into working class in Australia.

    The, er, church – they don’t like it described as simply a church, rather it’s a “Christian life centre” with a “campus” – is a Bible barn with a Christian nightclub, the Lord’s own sound system, and a full lighting board with strobes and everything. The “campus” appears to consist of an Almighty parking lot, and it’s right on the Pacific Highway, the main road leading south to Surfer’s Paradise and NSW. It looks like a somewhat downmarket smallish shopping mall, with a tacky flying bird cut-out on the roof line that resembles a logo for a clothing store or maybe a seafood restaurant. They appear to follow the Baptist tradition of adult baptism by immersion, but the rest is as silent as to doctrine as it is to the learning of its clergy. No explicit endorsement of YEC appears on the website, but who knows. The “youth pastor” wears ripped jeans to preach in, the “senior pastors” are a married couple NOT NOT NOT NOT “same-sex”, and services appear to consist mainly of making a joyful noise unto the Lord. Well, some kind of noise, anyway. Loud, preferably.

    No doubt readers can colour in the rest. They want donations for a building project, of course. I found the wording of their appeal somewhat interesting: “…unity can make even what seems impossible happen.” Uh-huh.

    In short, it’s the sort of place that Ham would feel at home in. Now, you may say he should feel at home in Queensland – it’s his state of origin, isn’t it? But he doesn’t, any more. Christian observance and attendance has been steadily declining for generations in Australia, and that goes for Queensland, too. Despite a fair amount of “churn”, places like this have little traction. Noisiness is not the same as significance. Maybe Ham will pull more than the usual crowd for them. Depends. Is he soaking them for appearance money? Nobody’s saying, of course. Will there be a “donation” at the door? Ditto. That there’ll be a collection is pretty much a given.

    Well, he won’t be pulling me. So to speak. I live in Perth, Western Australia. For me, a trip to Brisbane would be like a Californian flying to Boston. If Ham were coming to our local house of whoop-de-doo, Margaret Court’s “Victory Life Centre”, which is just down the road in the charming industrial suburb of Osborne Park, between the intriguingly named “Redink Homes” and a baby shower gift shop, I’d be tempted. They’d throw me out in a minute, of course, but the chance to call Ham a liar to his face might make it worthwhile. But Brisbane? No. Satisfying as it might be, the pleasure would be momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.

  6. Karl Goldsmith

    He uses it as an excuse for other people to pay for his holiday to Australia, while he sees his mum. Don’t forget when him and his brother moved to America they left her behind. Can’t have her seeing how big a scammer her two sons are.

  7. From the Smith County (Tennessee) Insider:

    “The Smith County School System is involved in a lawsuit concerning the promotion of religion in schools.
    . . . . .
    “The lawsuit alleges that Smith County High School and Smith County Middle School have ‘routinely promoted and inculcated Christian religious beliefs by sponsoring religious activities and conveying religious messages to students.’

    “Additionally, the lawsuit mentions ‘school-sponsored’ prayer at athletic and school events, ‘religious iconography’ on school walls, and teachers who ‘proselytize’ and promote the Christian faith.

    “The lawsuit has been filed in the U.S. District Court for the Middle District of Tennessee.”

    Smith County is less than an hour due east of Nashville.

    https://smithcountyinsider.com/home-page-featured/smith-county-school-system-sued-by-aclu-over-promotion-of-religion-in-schools/

  8. Karl Goldsmith

    So Ken has been in Australia for the last days of his mum, who passed away while he has been there, on the 15th.

  9. Thanks, DaveL! My curiosity has been fully satisfied for the time being.

  10. @och will
    “Therefore there will have to be a miraculous transportation of the phony Stone Age mad man across the Samoan and Fijian island ”

    No need for that magic teleporting, I hear that you can get all the way to Australia rather easily by just hitching a ride on a floating flotsam of vegetation!

    Just ask the Koalas and the Kangaroos!

  11. Yup, ditto. Thanks Dave.. Fascinating but somehow depressingly familiar hammy details you offered are priceless. Ol Hambone will be singing the praises of america on his way back to Appalachia I’m sure.

  12. Michael Fugate

    Here was an idea floating around in my brain – if you are a god who is omnipotent and omniscient, then how can you be creative? Don’t you need to be willing and able to fail to create? to not know the outcome? to dream? The original god in the Bible appears to fail multiple times, but the current conception of the same god would deny those failures. What gives?

    Also does anyone actually believe racism only arose post-1860?

  13. Sorry, MichaelF, omnipotence and omniscience are beyond my imagination and understanding. You could as well ask me what the features of a square circle are.

  14. @FrankB
    When I am being careful and serious about this, I avoid “omnipotence”, “omniscience” and “omnibenevolence”. One need only speak of “more able than any natural agency”, or “able to produce such things as the laws of nature”, and use a word like “superpotent”, in order to see the problems with “design arguments”.
    @Michael Fugate
    ” Why resort to contrivance, where power is omnipotent? Contrivance, by its very definition and nature, is the refuge of imperfection. To have recourse to expedients, implies difficulty, impediment, restraint, defect of power.” – William Paley in “Natural Theology”
    “Art imitates Nature – and Necessity is the Mother of Invention” – anonymous
    Why would God resort to design? Is there something that he is displeased with – didn’t he make it in the first place? Design involves following rules – contrivance.

  15. Why, in creating the Universe, would God be constrained? The traditional answer is that God created an orderly, comprehensible Universe, whose workings are predictable, so that our understanding should be of benefit to us. If He had not, then our minds – which He gave us – would be virtually worthless. But that, in effect, meant that God Himself was constrained in the vast majority of his Workings. He can, and occasionally does, create an event that lies outside the order of nature – a miracle – but He alone wills that.

    If God is constrained by His own Will to create an orderly Universe, then it must follow that He must usually work by design within the order of that Universe. That is why He must “resort to contrivance, where power is omnipotent”.

  16. That still sound like a treatise on a square circle to me.

  17. Descriptions of the implications of the double-slit experiment have the same effect on me, FrankB.