We have some hard-core stuff from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. He just posted (well, re-posted) this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: What Does Genesis Mean? Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
Many Christians have a different principle for interpreting Genesis 1–11 than they do for the rest of God’s Word. [They do?] So what does Genesis mean? Imagine if we approached everything we read like this headline states. For instance, if you were driving and came upon a sign that says STOP, you might think, “It says, ‘Stop,’ but what does that really mean? My personal interpretation is that it means slow down and stop only if you see other cars coming.” We know better. We’re supposed to think, “Oh, a stop sign. I have to obey what it clearly says. It means to come to a full stop.”
A “Stop” sign means what it says, and according to Hambo, that’s how it is with Genesis too. He tells us:
Sadly, today we see Christians applying the first approach to the Bible [That’s horrible!], particularly the book of Genesis — and specifically the age of the earth and universe.
It’s sad indeed. After that he says:
I was on a radio program, and the pastor interviewing me asked something like this: “You agree Christians can have different views of baptism, eschatology, speaking in tongues, Sabbath day, and Calvinism?”
I answered in the affirmative. The pastor continued, “And Christians can have different views of Genesis; it’s the same thing.”
“No, it’s not the same thing,” I replied.
How can Hambo justify that answer? This is how:
I then explained that when Christians disagree on issues like eschatology and baptism, they are arguing from Scripture and within Scripture. However, I contend that the different views of Genesis come from people taking outside ideas, beliefs from fallible man, and interpreting the clear words of Scripture to fit those beliefs.
That’s the problem — it’s those infernal beliefs from outside scripture! He continues:
Now, I’ve actually had people come to me when I speak at conferences and say, “Our pastor is a gap theorist,” or “My daughter’s college professor is a theistic evolutionist,” and so on, and then someone asks me, “What is your position on Genesis?” My answer? “The biblical one, of course: six literal days, young earth, literal Adam, and global Flood. I take it as written.”
Hooray for Hambo! We assume he also believes the Earth is flat, fixed in place, and covered by the dome of the firmament. Let’s read on:
I have looked into every one of the positions on Genesis that contradict the “biblical one” listed above, and I’ve found one common factor. Every single one in some way attempts to incorporate the “millions of years belief” into Genesis. [Gasp!] Here’s what’s so disheartening to me. Many Christian leaders and academics who hold one of these positions on Genesis would, by and large, take God’s Word the same way I do from Genesis 12 onwards! Yes, we may have some theological disagreements arguing from within Scripture, and we may differ on the book of Revelation. But from Genesis 12 onwards, we don’t use outside beliefs from the secular world to force a particular view on God’s Word — but this is what they are doing in Genesis with the millions of years belief.
Phooey on outside beliefs! Another excerpt:
If we let God’s Word speak to us, keeping in mind the aim of various types of biblical literature, anyone can understand the basic message in the same way we can understand a traffic manual. That’s called the perspicuity of Scripture [Huh?], a big word for a simple concept that the message is clear. It means what it says.
Oh — it means what it says. Got it! Here’s more:
If you read Genesis 1–11 to a child, he or she will understand the basic message and would never get the idea of millions of years from this account. No! The idea of millions of years comes from fallible man’s beliefs and is imposed upon Genesis by many who would never impose man’s rejection of Christ’s physical Resurrection or virgin birth on the New Testament!
Hambo is so wise! This will be our last excerpt:
So what does Genesis mean? It means what it so clearly says!
So there you have it, dear reader — straight from Hambo. Genesis means what it says! And that means you can take your science and toss it in the trash, because if you don’t, you’ll end up in the Lake of Fire.
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