Once again, we are dazzled and amazed by the wisdom of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. Look what he just posted at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: Explore God’s Handiwork Right on Your Fingertips. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
The handiwork of our Creator can be seen all around us, within us, and even right on our fingertips. [Wow!] The uniqueness of our fingerprints points to the biblical truth that we’re fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). And their incredible design highlights the Creator and his work.
Ooooooooooooh! All your life you’ve been looking for proof, and it’s been within your grasp all along — literally at your fingertips! Hambo says:
One of our upcoming Explore Days [link omitted] — a full day of hands-on science and biblical worldview teaching for grades 4–12 here at the Creation Museum — focuses on forensics, including fingerprinting.
Isn’t that wonderful? Then he tells us:
These Explore Days, which also teach students to have a truly Christian worldview, have been extremely popular since we first introduced them. Children and teens love exploring science in such a hands-on way while learning what Scripture says concerning the science field being studied.
The bible is your best guide for learning about science. Where else can you learn about the Firmament and the Flood? Hambo continues:
There’s really nothing else like it offered at any other museum (or anywhere else!). And forensics is just one of the topics that children can choose to study. We also offer:
• Physical science
Are you surprised, dear reader, to learn that the bible is a great textbook for those subjects? That shows how little you know and how much you need to learn. Let’s read on:
These workshops fill up quickly, so be sure to register early to avoid disappointment. Learn more on our Creation Museum website. [Link omitted.] The museum is located in Petersburg, Kentucky, west of the Cincinnati Airport.
One last excerpt:
The uniqueness of our fingerprints points us to the Creator and the truth that we’re made fearfully and wonderfully. And in a children’s book by Dr. Jennifer Rivera of our staff, children will discover the uniqueness of their fingerprints, their pattern, and God’s design. Included are 23 pages of activities related to fingerprinting. Order Dr. Rivera’s The Work of Your Hand [link omitted] for your home library today. Bring the fun of fingerprinting and patterns home to your family.
There’s so much you don’t know, dear reader. Hambo can teach you — and save you — if you’ll stop being a stubborn fool!
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