Learn About Your Divine Fingerprints

Once again, we are dazzled and amazed by the wisdom of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. Look what he just posted at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: Explore God’s Handiwork Right on Your Fingertips. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

The handiwork of our Creator can be seen all around us, within us, and even right on our fingertips. [Wow!] The uniqueness of our fingerprints points to the biblical truth that we’re fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). And their incredible design highlights the Creator and his work.

Ooooooooooooh! All your life you’ve been looking for proof, and it’s been within your grasp all along — literally at your fingertips! Hambo says:

One of our upcoming Explore Days [link omitted] — a full day of hands-on science and biblical worldview teaching for grades 4–12 here at the Creation Museum — focuses on forensics, including fingerprinting.

Isn’t that wonderful? Then he tells us:

These Explore Days, which also teach students to have a truly Christian worldview, have been extremely popular since we first introduced them. Children and teens love exploring science in such a hands-on way while learning what Scripture says concerning the science field being studied.

The bible is your best guide for learning about science. Where else can you learn about the Firmament and the Flood? Hambo continues:

There’s really nothing else like it offered at any other museum (or anywhere else!). And forensics is just one of the topics that children can choose to study. We also offer:

• Astronomy
• Biology
• Botany
• Chemistry
• Dinosaurs
• Genetics
• Geology
• Microscopes
• Paleontology
• Physical science
• Zoology

Are you surprised, dear reader, to learn that the bible is a great textbook for those subjects? That shows how little you know and how much you need to learn. Let’s read on:

These workshops fill up quickly, so be sure to register early to avoid disappointment. Learn more on our Creation Museum website. [Link omitted.] The museum is located in Petersburg, Kentucky, west of the Cincinnati Airport.

One last excerpt:

The uniqueness of our fingerprints points us to the Creator and the truth that we’re made fearfully and wonderfully. And in a children’s book by Dr. Jennifer Rivera of our staff, children will discover the uniqueness of their fingerprints, their pattern, and God’s design. Included are 23 pages of activities related to fingerprinting. Order Dr. Rivera’s The Work of Your Hand [link omitted] for your home library today. Bring the fun of fingerprinting and patterns home to your family.

There’s so much you don’t know, dear reader. Hambo can teach you — and save you — if you’ll stop being a stubborn fool!

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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17 responses to “Learn About Your Divine Fingerprints

  1. “The uniqueness of our fingerprints points to the biblical truth that we’re fearfully ….. made.”
    Wowie indeed! From now on every time I look at my fingertips I’ll tremble with fear.
    Still our dear SC asks the wrong question:

    “what Scripture says concerning the science field being studied.”
    He should have asked: where else can you learn about forensics and fingerprings?

    “children will discover…. God’s design.”
    Ol’Hambo truly is the frontman the ID movement needs so badly these days.

  2. Michael Fugate

    Still trying to understand God’s purpose for unique fingerprints and the Biblical reference that mentions them. Why did it take until the 20th c. to figure it out fingerprinting if it is in the Bible? Didn’t anyone read it before then?
    Why didn’t God make everyone with different numbers of limbs or eyes, for instance?

  3. siluriantrilobite

    Is Hambo aware that gorillas and chimps have individual fingerprints?

    >

  4. It seems that it was the Chinese who first used the fact that fingerprints are unique, as a method of personalising the seal on a document. But the Bible has as much to say about fingerprints as it has to say about nuclear fission or quantum mechanics.

    As for “fearfully and wonderfully made”, agreed. I have no doubt that it was that reflection that impelled the first real biologists to find out how wonderfully made:

    “And we who listen to the stars, or walk the dusty grade,
    Or break the very atoms down to see how they are made,
    Or study cells, or living things, seek truth with open hand.
    The profoundest act of worship is to try to understand.”

    An act of worship far beyond Ham.

  5. chris schilling

    “The handiwork of our Creator can be seen all around us, within us, and even right on our fingertips.”

    If that’s the case, why is my middle finger always raised towards Heaven?

  6. Michael Fugate

    But Dave, the Chinese never knew the “real” god.

  7. Yep, I’m so fearfully and wonderfully made that I no longer need a barber, I keep the dermatologist busy, and my trainer says I’ll no longer bench press my body weight. My fingerprints were filed long ago in the Vietnam war. I wonder, does Ken submit the kids’s prints to the feds?

  8. Note that forensics is all about the uniqueness of fingerprints. It is not about finding out was has happened in the past. That would be historical science, which is a big no-no.

  9. Hambo had best not examine the ‘fingerprints’ found in a South African cave, which were made nearly 40,000 years before God created the world:
    Animal painting found in cave is 44,000 years old

  10. Megalonyx says: “nearly 40,000 years before God created the world”

    Oh yeah? Were you there? Well, you probably were.

  11. SC, that is my usual response: “Yes. Yes, I was there. I was the fellow in the blue anorak and the brown mudboots. What were you wearing?” I then ask them for proof that I’m lying, reminding them that they can’t exclude supernatural causes without excluding them themselves.

  12. Karl Goldsmith

    You know the AiG school run by wife of Bodie Hodge, daughtger of Ken, charges $5995 to tell them the world is 6,000 years old.

  13. Scientist observes,
    “Yep, I’m so fearfully and wonderfully made that I no longer need a barber, I keep the dermatologist busy, and my trainer says I’ll no longer bench press my body weight.”

    I hear ya, Brother! I could have authored your first two points, but as for the bench pressing body weight, I never tried so I don’t know if I ever could.

    But seriously, you raise the whole issue of mortality. We could argue that without it, life could not exist on earth. It is the means by which evolution happens, and without evolution, life could not have adapted to the changing environment over the eons.

    This then raises a theological question. If death did not occur until Adam & Eve ate that apple (or whatever fruit it was), why did God “create” them (and all life) with the means of reproduction? If nothing died, life would soon overtake the earth’s ability to support all those living things.

    Guess God must have planned on their eating that apple after all. 😉

  14. Michael Fugate

    Wonder if “divine” fingerprints were left in this cave 44,000 years ago?
    https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-019-1806-y

  15. Meh. Were you there? You can only rely on operational science, except when operational science (like radiometry) provides unwelcome conclusions.

  16. “Children and teens love exploring science in such a hands-on way while learning what Scripture says concerning the science field being studied.
    […]
    Microscopes”

    I can see how to stretch the text of the bible to find a (often tenuous) link with the other elements of this list but microscopes. There is not so much to explore or study when the only answer is “nothing” (like in “the Scripture has nothing to say about microscopes, or about cells, or biological tissues”).

  17. So that’s how St. Pete determines who gets in: the magical, mystical fingerprint reader. Look out if the KGB gets it.