Creationist Wisdom #1,015: This Is Amazing!

This one may be the strangest letter-to-the-editor we’ve ever presented. It appears in The Crescent-News of Defiance, Ohio, and the title is Aristotle, Darwin wrong. The newspaper seems to have a comments feature.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. He’s in the home construction business, but that doesn’t qualify for full name treatment. His first name is Larry. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!

A man was casting bad spirits out of others in the name of Jesus Christ and disciples of Jesus didn’t know the man, but Jesus told them it was okay to do good things in the name of Jesus, saying: “He who is not against us (Christians) is for us.”

Larry’s letter is full of things like that. We’ll skip most of it. Ah, the good stuff starts here:

Moses wrote Genesis which chronologically comes out to about 6,000 years from creation to now. [Right!] If considered in 2,000-year cycles: in the first 2,000 years human knowledge of evil as introduced by Lucifer-Satan had reached an intolerable level as God had to submerge all but eight humans (Noah’s family).

Okay, that brings us up to the Flood. Now what? Larry tells us:

Then after the language of the new humans was confused (Genesis II) the Greeks as descendants of Noah’s grandson Javan (“Ionian”) (Genesis 10:2) after about 1,600 years became students of “naturalism” (e.g. Aristotle’s “spontaneous-generation-evolution”) which by the time of Christ 350 years after Aristotle and 2,000 years after the flood was the basis for Greco-Roman philosophy (e.g. “Mars Hill, Acts 17:22).

Egad, Naturalism! Aristotle was not only a fool, he was a sinner too. Larry continues:

Now 2,000 years after Christ; Pasteur’s (1880s) “biogenesis” has proven Aristotle and Darwin wrong [Hee hee!], and “World Almanac” quotes NASA as saying that only about 4% of the mass of the universe can be seen because “dark matter” and “dark energy” (Satan) hides everything.

That was quite a paragraph! In the first part, Larry is referring to Pasteur’s so-called “law of biogenesis,” which is debunked in Common Creationist Claims Confuted. As for Satan hiding dark matter and dark energy, we’ll let you ponder that if you want to. We’re moving on:

Oh — we’ve arrived at the last paragraph. Check it out:

Revelation 21:24 says that when God restores power and puts the lines of Jesus back up then “the nations (on Christ’s energy) which are saved shall walk in the light of it (heaven’s universe).”

You gotta admit, dear reader — that was an amazing letter!

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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13 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #1,015: This Is Amazing!

  1. How is it possible that people as crazy and/or ignorant as that can even make a living?

  2. Dark matter & dark energy = Satan?

    Best. Post. Ever.

  3. This man might have a future writing a Netflix sci-fi series.

  4. chris schilling

    Lor’ lumme, I think Larry’s been not so much reading his Bible as smoking it. Sing it, Larry:

    THEY STONE YA WHEN YA QUOTE ‘EM ALL THE VERSE
    THEY STONE YA WHEN YA TELL ‘EM THAT THEY’RE
    CURSED
    THEY STONE YA WHEN YA OFFER THEM SALVATION
    THEY STONE WHEN YA TAKIN’ GOD’S DICTATION
    BUT I WOULD NOT FEEL SO ALL ALONE
    EVERYBARDY MUST GIT STONED

  5. Unfortunately, I can’t access the full text of the letter, because the Crescent-News cookies violate EU law.

    But it does seem to get two things right. Javan (better, YWN) = Ionia. And Pasteur’s experiments did disprove Aristotle’s account of spontaneous generation. Ironically, Pasteur’s work says nothing at all about evolution, whereas if Aristotle had been right in imagining that crocodiles could be spontaneously generated from Nile mud, that would mean that they were unevolved. And I thought that Aristotelian spontaneous generation had been refuted much earlier anyway, by Redi.

  6. @Paul Braterman
    Yes. Javan is understood throughout the Ancient Middle East as Ionia = Greece.
    Spontaneous generation of macroscopic animals had been largely abandoned by the time of Pasteur. He investigated microscopic life.
    The Bible gives hints for spontaneous generation, such as in the story of Samson – bees were generated in the skull of the lion, and a couple of the plagues of Egypt.

  7. Paul Braterman says: “Unfortunately, I can’t access the full text of the letter”

    Not a problem. I copied all the “good” stuff.

  8. Laurette McGovern

    Scientists say that hydrogen is the most abundant element in the universe. They’re wrong–it’s stupidity, followed closely by ignorance.

  9. OMG, not only does “Larry” live in Hicksville (!!!!!), he lives in RURAL Hicksville!!!!!!!

    Well, hush my mouth, by cracky!

  10. My mother lived in Hicksville in her younger days, and it was always a source of humor. She did save a $20 bill that was issued by the Hicksville bank [common practice back in those days] and today it’s worth about $200 🙂

  11. This has all the signs of Dunning-Kruger.
    Not knowing that he does not know a lot about the subject yet very confident in his opinion.
    Maybe the subject of a new series?