Creationist Wisdom #1,016: Hambo Visitor

Today’s letter-to-the-editor is brief, but very alarming. It appears in the Aiken Standard of Aiken, South Carolina. The title is Christianity is being removed from culture, and the newspaper has a comments feature.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is Andy. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!

Recently my wife and I went on vacation in Kentucky to visit the Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter. Boy was I impressed. [Who wouldn’t be?]

That, dear reader, is a great beginning. Wanna know what impressed Andy? Sure you do. He says:

They put us on buses which took us up to the top of a hill. There in the distance sat the largest wooden structure in the world, The Ark. [Gasp!] It was four stories tall and three football fields (900 feet) long.

Ooooooooooooh! What a glorious experience! Andy tells us:

While there, I bought servals [sic] DVDs by its’ [sic] founder Ken Ham with whom I was even more impressed.

Who wouldn’t be impressed by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else? Andy continues:

One of these [DVDs] was called “The Great Delusion/America Under Judgment”.

We found that DVD at Hambo’s bookstore: The Great Delusion. It costs only $12.99. Andy tells us about it:

The main goal of the One-World Government is too replace our faith in God to faith government, wrote Adam Weishaupt. Weishaupt was the founder of the Order of the Illuminati on May 1, 1776 in Bavaria, Germany.

Egad — the Illuminati! Wikipedia says: “The society’s goals were to oppose superstition, obscurantism, religious influence over public life, and abuses of state power.” That’s horrible!

Hey — we’ve arrived at the end of Andy’s letter. Here it is:

This is the reason that all symbols and praise of Christianity must be removed from society. What we are witnessing before our very eyes, is the systematic demise of all Western Christian culture.

Fortunately, we have ol’ Hambo to fight the good fight. Great letter, Andy!

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #1,016: Hambo Visitor

  1. Douglas Swartzendruber

    I googled ‘largest wooden structure in the world’ and alas, Hambone’s Ark was nowhere to be found.

  2. There is “The 20 most impressive wooden structures in the world” by Popular Mechanics which mentions The Ark.

  3. I do find it at least somewhat hilarious that an organization dedicated to revealing the truth, that published numerous documents and books on exactly that subject, that has members working toward those stated goals for the last several centuries, that named itself after a Latin word that basically means “illumination,” has become the by-word for a secret society with a hidden agenda.

  4. @Jim Roberts: Do you mean these Illuminati? Then I agree with you.

  5. Yes, that’s exactly the one. Frankly, the others are almost all fictional, or at least highly invented.

  6. chris schilling

    This is a bit parochial, but there used to be a joke about certain Australian popular magazines:

    ‘Woman’s Day’ — came out weekly.
    ‘Woman’s Weekly’ — came out monthly
    ‘New Idea’ — hasn’t got any

    Based on the level of proofreading and the fact they published Andy’s letter at all, I would add:

    ‘Aiken Standard’ — doesn’t have any.

  7. This is somebody whose ideas have been formed by living in a bubble. I very much doubt that Andy is a reading man. His letter demonstrates that he is not accustomed to checking his sources, for in almost every case the statements he accepts as fact, from the status of Ham’s structure to the nature of the Illuminati, are false. The paper in which this appears is a local small-town journal in North Carolina – but Chris Schilling, I would not assume that they have no standards. It is, I think, quite possible that the editor wished to convey the real flavour of Andy’s prose. You must admit he has succeeded in doing that, intentional or not.

    I wonder if Andy has ever travelled outside heartland America? There’s no telling, from what information we have, but I would venture to suggest not. I would also suggest that he has received a high-school education, is a decent hardworking fellow, neighbourly, law-abiding, with many manly and traditional virtues. But perhaps you would not consult him on questions outside the occupation by which he earns his living.

    Like everybody else, like me, like you, he is entitled as of unquestioned right to his opinions and to his input into the direction of the democracy he lives in. Many from Aristotle on have pointed out the problem this poses for democracy. Phooey on them, say I. I would rather have Andy’s opinions freely advocated, provided always that I can advocate my own, than be directed by all the philosopher-kings or councils of savants who ever lived. Not that there were ever many of them, anyway.

  8. chris schilling

    @Dave L writes:
    “… he is entitled as of unquestioned right to his opinions…”

    Should this extend to neo-Nazis, as well? True, Andy nowhere expresses those sentiments, but he does endorse Ham’s propaganda and merchandise which peddles conspiracy theories and paranoia similar to neo-Nazis or the alt-right.

    For instance, replace ‘Illuminati’ with Jews. No-one takes offence over vilifying the Illuminati because I doubt anyone cares enough. But the parallels are there. Andy is basically a shill for crank ideas.

    But in the main, I’m inclined to agree with you in regard to ‘democracy’, and the concessions I suppose we must allow, even to those we take issue with.

  9. Yes, chris schilling. Horrible as it is, we must extend the right of free speech even to neo-Nazis. Free speech, that is, as we in the democracies understand the term.

    For there has never been a right to say anything you want. It is, and always has been, an offence to threaten any crime against any person or their property. It is, and always has been, an offence to advocate or to incite any crime by any other. It is, and always has been, an offence to endanger others or their property by simply mischievous speech – Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes’ famous example of shouting “Fire!” in a crowded theatre. It is, and always has been, a cause of civil action maliciously to defame another person by the spoken word.

    But those reasonable restrictions on the right of free speech are, I believe, sufficient. Any speech that falls outside those categories, including speech that is insulting or distressing, must be dealt with in the open, not by attempts at suppression.

  10. Michael Fugate

    And if you say something offensive, people can retaliate by not shopping at your store or eating at your restaurant. People should realize there may consequences before saying whatever comes to mind.

  11. If you ever land at the Albuquerque airport you can see a truly impressive all-wooden structure:

  12. If a politician engages in low level speech, this ought to be easily corrected. The large majority ought to refuse to vote for them.
    For some reason, this doesn’t happen.

  13. “Should this extend to neo-Nazis, as well?”
    As far as it’s not prohibited by law, yes. In my native country they make use of this freedom too.

  14. “It was four stories tall and three football fields (900 feet) long.”

    Would you believe …….. 510 feet?

    seems Andy is prone to exaggeration! In more areas than length….

  15. As to his prose quality, a fair number of newspapers have a policy of printing letters to the editor exactly as submitted, both as a matter of journalistic principle and to avoid having people tell them that they’re being censored or silenced.

  16. Lucky our Curmudgeon inserted his warning “sic” into “servals DVDs”, or I might have gone on thinking that our man was talking about cat videos.