Noah’s Ark Wins First Place at Science Fair

This might be the most inspirational post we’ve ever seen from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. We just found this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: Ark Project Wins First Place in District Science Fair. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

We love hearing stories about how God is using Answers in Genesis, the Ark Encounter, and the Creation Museum in the lives of individuals, families, and children. [We all do!] Recently we heard from a father who shared what an impact his family’s visit to the Ark Encounter had on his young daughter. This young lady, Savannah, was so inspired by what she learned at the Ark that she decided to theme her science fair project around the Ark.

Ooooooooooooh! A science fair project based on Noah’s Ark! Isn’t this exciting? Hambo says:

She won first place and is moving on to Regionals! [Wowie!] Here’s what her father shared with us,

Hambo tells us what Savannah’s father wrote:

I want to share some wonderful news. My daughter and I visited the Ark Encounter during Spring Break of this year. Needless to say, it was an amazing trip that made an impact on us all. My daughter just entered her science fair [in a public school] and it was all about the Ark.

Unfortunately, Hambo doesn’t tell us the name of Savannah’s school, or the city where she lives, so we can’t search for stories in her local newspaper. Anyway, the father’s letter continues:

She took your model of Noah’s ark and made a mold of it out of aluminum foil. She tested it against other ship designs. Of course, the ark floated and held up to many tests.

Ooooooooooooh! She used what was probably sold in Hambo’s store, the Wooden Ark Replica (six inches long, $14.99, ten inches long, $19.99) and made a hollow mold out of aluminum foil. It floated! Wowie! What a science project! The proud father’s letter goes on:

So today we just found out my daughter won her division [Hooray!] and will go on to the district science fair. We are so excited and want to thank you for the experience of the Ark Encounter. I just wanted you to know what an impact our visit at the Ark Encounter has made on my daughter’s life. Now she’s sharing God’s word through science.

Ooooooooooooh! Savannah won in her division. What division was that? We’re not told. Okay, back to Hambo:

Her father later shared with us the news about Savannah placing first at the district science fair and heading to the regional science fair. [Gasp!] Good job, Savannah!

Amazing, huh? Things have changed since your Curmudgeon participated in his high school science fair. Here’s our last excerpt:

I praise the Lord for how he is using the ministry of AiG in making such an impact on children. We need godly generations to stand boldly for the Lord! The photos below show Savannah with her grandparents at the Creation Museum, with her father at the Ark Encounter, and with her medal and project.

If you click over to Hambo’s site and look at the photos, you’ll get a better understanding of what’s going on here. Savannah appears to be about seven or eight years old, so her science fair division must have been for children of that age. Even so, a tin-foil model of Hambo’s ark is pretty shaky science. What do you think, dear reader?

Copyright © 2019. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “Noah’s Ark Wins First Place at Science Fair

  1. I wonder why we are not told the name of the school district

  2. Actually, when I saw the email header for this post, it cheered me up enormously. it read “Noah’s Ark wins first place at Science F”, and I really thought that the F stood for fiction

  3. Looks like a Savanah did place first in physics “Division 3” at Beat Four School in Waynesboro, MS.

  4. Charles Deetz ;)

    Aluminum foil, sure, but a real ark is made of wood. Like a witch, wood floats. Maybe she could test a wood ark versus a witch for next year?

  5. Michael Fugate

    Testing boat designs seems like a valid project – won’t tell us about the validity of Genesis though.

  6. I wonder what other ship designs she tested and what the tests were? Any shell of aluminum foil would float, but might run into trouble in a simulated nor’easter.

  7. When Savannah gets a bit older and more proficient in math, a good follow-up project would be to calculate the total body volume of all the animals that would need to be on the ark, and see if they would even fit inside Ham’s ark – not even factoring in room for: 1) living space (for both animals and crew); 2) food; 3) ballast; 4) fresh water storage; and 5) room for all the wooden reenforcing beams, ribs, keel and stringers. Don’t forget, Savannah, you can’t calculate the available volume by pressing foil around the outside of Ham’s model. Approximately half of the space inside the hull would be taken up by all the reenforcing structure needed to keep a wooden ship of that size from crumpling and breaking up.

    Now, that would be a science fair-worthy project.

  8. “We need godly generations to stand boldly for the Lord!”
    Yeah, the Lord can’t protect Himself and would go down weren’t it for Ol’Hambo.

  9. chris schilling

    True, Savannah may have demonstrated how to float Ken’s boat, but did she eradicate human sin?
    (No, and nor did Yahweh, despite His best efforts. Human capacity for wickedness knows no bounds. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it).

    I guess Savannah’s science fair project must be considered a resounding success, after all.

  10. “Of course, the ark floated and held up to many tests.”

    “Many tests”, huh? As my mother would have said, “There’s science for you”. I don’t suppose it occurred to anyone at that science fair in MS that a model of Hambo’s ark should be made out of small splinters of wood – say, split matchsticks – held together by spit and cobweb, to simulate the scale strength of the available materials, and floated in a wave pool agitated by, say, an outboard motor?

    I mean, if Noah could have made his Ark out of sheet aluminium, he’d have had a better chance. As described in Genesis, every second that it continued to float in an open ocean would have required an on-going miracle.

    What gets me is that Ham knows that perfectly well. His structure is fastened, pinned and reinforced with steel bolts, tie plates, and trusses, and is bedded immovably on concrete piles. He knows, absolutely for sure, that if it was made entirely of wood caulked with bitumen, it wouldn’t be structurally sound as a static building, let alone as a sea-going craft. Anyone who looks at it, and is prepared to use their eyes, can see that plain as day. To go to see it and to not see that is to perform a feat of selective observation that would be remarkable, if it were not for the lamentable fact that it is all too common.

    But the same with little Savannah’s model. It’s as if I built a balsa and plastic representation of a dragon with wings outstretched, and successfully glided it from a tower, to demonstrate that dragons could fly, and therefore “A Game of Thrones” was historical fact. It’s crazy. But it’s also the absolute antithesis of science. What on earth are they thinking, in Waynesboro, MS?

  11. I could make a tin foil mold of a brassiere and the thing would probably float — as long as the cups didn’t flip over. I wonder if they’d give me a prize?

  12. Question:
    Is there any shape (other than a very tightly compressed ball) of tin foil that will not float?
    I am thinking it would be more physics first place prize worthy if she had come up a non-compressed ball design that sank.

  13. @Tom B – Very tightly compressed, indeed. A “normally” compressed ball of aluminum foil floats quite well. Cane pole fishermen use them as make-shift bobbers.

  14. It would have been more than slightly amusing to see Noah fidget around with miles and miles of tin foil.

  15. It is my personal opinion that the father would have used the tin foil more appropriately by making himself a nice tin foil hat.

  16. If one were to shape aluminum foil around a shoe box, it would float, so I suspect (hope?) that there is more to this science fair effort. If she were investigating the plausibility of the design, that might actually be a decent science project, except that Old Hambo’s ark was not built to original specifications, so she was testing whether Hambo’s Ark would float, no?