Things are becoming increasingly boring at the blog of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. Instead of focusing on creationism and the other topics we like — Noah’s Ark, life on other worlds, etc. — ol’ Hambo keeps blogging about “social issues” like abortion, unconventional gender choices, etc. That’s what he’s doing today.
He just posted United Methodist Church to Divide Over Gay “Marriage”. As we’ve said before, the only private life we’re interested in is our own, and we don’t care what other people do — as long as it’s done privately with consenting adults. But Hambo does care what other people are doing.
Why doesn’t he blog about the pro-evolution stand the Methodists have taken? See, e.g.: Methodists Strongly Accept Evolution. It’s because he’d rather blog about gay stuff. Okay, there’s nothing else going on so let’s talk about it. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
A recent announcement [this story in the New York Times: United Methodist Church Announces Plan to Split Over Same-Sex Marriage] was no big shock to anyone following the story of the United Methodist Church in America. The church denomination (the second-largest Protestant denomination in the US) recently announced that it is planning to split, with some churches leaving to form a “traditional Methodist” denomination, with the remainder of the churches carrying on the name of the United Methodist Church. What are they splitting over?
We give up, Hambo. Tell us why they’re splitting. He says:
Well, again, it’s no big shock what the issue is . . . gay “marriage” and LGBT individuals. [Gasp!] At a general conference last year that was attended by Methodists worldwide, the church voted by a narrow margin to tighten the ban on gay “marriage,” recognizing that it goes against God’s Word (this victory was largely due to churches outside of the US, which tells you something about the sad state of this denomination in the US). That was the culmination of several decades of tension. Since last year’s conference, a split in the denomination — which is not so “united” anymore — seemed inevitable.
It is correct for this denomination to divide over the gay “marriage” issue — that kind of division is biblical and necessary. But the thinking of so many churches on the issue of gay “marriage” is just a symptom of a more significant issue — the foundational issue.
What’s the “foundational issue”? Hambo explains:
The real divide needs to be over taking a stand on the absolute authority of God’s Word, beginning in Genesis! Once a church takes a stand on a literal Genesis, everything else follows from that, as all biblical doctrine is ultimately founded in Genesis chapters 1-11.
Yeah — Genesis is a source of great doctrine, like flat Earth, firmament, geocentric universe, etc. Let’s read on:
And unless the church takes Scripture as it’s meant to be taken (e.g., Genesis is historical narrative), there will continue to be problems over what the church stands for and teaches. The church will continue to be weak, lukewarm, and will not impact future generations and the culture as it should.
Ooooooooooooh! Only Hambo can save the church. Hey — we have some good news: we’ve arrived at the end of Hambo’s post. Here it is:
We need a generation of Christians who will stand boldly on God’s Word, beginning in Genesis, and will refuse to compromise with the ideas of our day.
Right. We need millions of droolers who will pay to visit Hambo’s creation museum and his ark replica. Isn’t that the real issue?
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