This one is silly beyond belief. We found it — where else? — at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.
The title is What about Creation, Flood, and Language Division Legends? It appears to be a chapter in a creationist book edited by ol’ Hambo himself: The New Answers Book 4. You can buy it from Hambo’s website for only $14.99. This chapter was written by Troy Lacey, AIG’s correspondence representative — whatever that is — and Bodie Hodge, Hambo’s son-in-law.
It’s way too long for us to do any more than give you a few excerpts, which should be enough. Here we go, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
Nearly every culture around the world has a creation legend [What a surprise!], and just as many have worldwide flood legends, and, believe it or not, there are even many language division legends around the world in different and diverse cultures. In today’s highly secularized culture, there are attacks on the Bible using these legends. [Gasp!] Those who do not trust what the Bible plainly says often speculate that the Bible’s discussion about creation, the Flood, and the Tower of Babel are just more legends and determine that the Bible cannot be trusted.
Religions have all kinds of legends — and they’re all different. Your Curmudgeon is familiar with Greek mythology, and we don’t recall that the Titans or the Olympian gods ever launched a global flood. What’s AIG’s point here? Troy and Bodie say:
What these attackers fail to realize is that these legends are a great confirmation of the Bible [Huh?] and that the Bible retains the true account recorded by God in His Word.
The bible is the “true account” of the Greek myths? We’re not aware of any similarity. What’s going on here? Hambo’s authors tell us:
Of course, many of these legends have been distorted and have become highly mythologized and embellished over time; and these embellishments are to be expected as people dispersed from Babel and the knowledge of God and mankind’s early history was forgotten or turned into folklore.
Ah yes, the Greeks were stupid and easily confused, so the tales of their gods are a degenerate version of the bible. Troy and Bodie continue:
Many have common themes involving mankind being created from clay; a remnant understanding of God (i.e., a “god”) as angry with mankind for some reason; large boats (or rafts) being constructed to survive a coming flood, often foretold to the hero by this “god”; animals being collected by the hero in order to survive the coming deluge, and so on. Many of these legends sometimes still bear striking resemblances in many particulars to biblical accounts.
The Greeks had nothing like those bible stories. Well, Zeus was angry with Prometheus for giving knowledge to man, but Prometheus was a titan, not a serpent. And mankind didn’t suffer, Prometheus did. That tale is nothing like Adam & Eve. And it’s no surprise that the Greeks have a flood legend. Lots of cultures do, because people had experience with floods — but the Greek legend isn’t even even remotely like Noah’s flood. If the old testament and the Greek legends were similar in any way, it would have been noticed — especially after Alexander liberated Israel from the Babylonian empire and the two cultures got to know each other.
Anyway, the excerpts we’ve already given you were sort of an introduction. The vast bulk of the chapter by Bodie and Troy is a big listing of legends, and claims that they’re all degenerate versions of the bible. The bible, of course, isn’t legend. It’s The Truth™!
Go ahead, read it all. If you think your Curmudgeon is wrong, feel free to tell us about it.
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