All the World’s Myths Come from the Bible

This one is silly beyond belief. We found it — where else? — at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

The title is What about Creation, Flood, and Language Division Legends? It appears to be a chapter in a creationist book edited by ol’ Hambo himself: The New Answers Book 4. You can buy it from Hambo’s website for only $14.99. This chapter was written by Troy Lacey, AIG’s correspondence representative — whatever that is — and Bodie Hodge, Hambo’s son-in-law.

It’s way too long for us to do any more than give you a few excerpts, which should be enough. Here we go, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

Nearly every culture around the world has a creation legend [What a surprise!], and just as many have worldwide flood legends, and, believe it or not, there are even many language division legends around the world in different and diverse cultures. In today’s highly secularized culture, there are attacks on the Bible using these legends. [Gasp!] Those who do not trust what the Bible plainly says often speculate that the Bible’s discussion about creation, the Flood, and the Tower of Babel are just more legends and determine that the Bible cannot be trusted.

Religions have all kinds of legends — and they’re all different. Your Curmudgeon is familiar with Greek mythology, and we don’t recall that the Titans or the Olympian gods ever launched a global flood. What’s AIG’s point here? Troy and Bodie say:

What these attackers fail to realize is that these legends are a great confirmation of the Bible [Huh?] and that the Bible retains the true account recorded by God in His Word.

The bible is the “true account” of the Greek myths? We’re not aware of any similarity. What’s going on here? Hambo’s authors tell us:

Of course, many of these legends have been distorted and have become highly mythologized and embellished over time; and these embellishments are to be expected as people dispersed from Babel and the knowledge of God and mankind’s early history was forgotten or turned into folklore.

Ah yes, the Greeks were stupid and easily confused, so the tales of their gods are a degenerate version of the bible. Troy and Bodie continue:

Many have common themes involving mankind being created from clay; a remnant understanding of God (i.e., a “god”) as angry with mankind for some reason; large boats (or rafts) being constructed to survive a coming flood, often foretold to the hero by this “god”; animals being collected by the hero in order to survive the coming deluge, and so on. Many of these legends sometimes still bear striking resemblances in many particulars to biblical accounts.

The Greeks had nothing like those bible stories. Well, Zeus was angry with Prometheus for giving knowledge to man, but Prometheus was a titan, not a serpent. And mankind didn’t suffer, Prometheus did. That tale is nothing like Adam & Eve. And it’s no surprise that the Greeks have a flood legend. Lots of cultures do, because people had experience with floods — but the Greek legend isn’t even even remotely like Noah’s flood. If the old testament and the Greek legends were similar in any way, it would have been noticed — especially after Alexander liberated Israel from the Babylonian empire and the two cultures got to know each other.

Anyway, the excerpts we’ve already given you were sort of an introduction. The vast bulk of the chapter by Bodie and Troy is a big listing of legends, and claims that they’re all degenerate versions of the bible. The bible, of course, isn’t legend. It’s The Truth!

Go ahead, read it all. If you think your Curmudgeon is wrong, feel free to tell us about it.

Copyright © 2020. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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19 responses to “All the World’s Myths Come from the Bible

  1. Tut, tut, SC. Not Alexander; Cyrus,,centuries earlier

  2. The big question is: how many branches of science do those creacrappers reject all in all?

  3. SC doesn’t “recall that the Titans or the Olympian gods ever launched a global flood.” Zeus did. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deucalion

  4. Glenn, I don’t think that was a global flood.

  5. Teach the controversy!

    When Jupiter beheld the globe
    in ruin covered, swept with wasting waves,
    and when he saw one man of myriads left,
    one helpless woman left of myriads lone,
    both innocent and worshiping the Gods,
    he scattered all the clouds; he blew away
    the great storms by the cold northwind.
    — Ovid, Metamorphoses, book 1, trans. Brookes More (1922)

  6. Michael Fugate

    And the Bible would still be “true” if no other culture had a creation myth, a flood, or whatever silliness AiG believes.

  7. Ovid was a late-comer, perhaps influenced by the biblical tale.

  8. @Glenn Branch,@SC, Wikipedia Deucalion: “The 19th century classicist John Lemprière, in Bibliotheca Classica, argued that as the story had been re-told in later versions, it accumulated details from the stories of Noah and Moses: “Thus Apollodorus gives Deucalion a great chest as a means of safety; Plutarch speaks of the pigeons by which he sought to find out whether the waters had retired; and Lucian of the animals of every kind which he had taken with him. &c.” ”

    The problem of sorting out who was first with what, given cross-contamination of religions, is widespread; Judaism and Zoroastrianism; Christianity and Mithraism; and Robert Graves, perhaps too imaginatively, cites Samson and Hercules, and Eve’s apple vs Paris’s Apple of Discord. It would need deeper knowledge to see how old the Deucalion-flood story is.

  9. Dave Luckett

    I’m sure everybody here knows the story: most ancient civilisations were riverine. Those on rivers that were subject to catastrophic floods had flood myths. Most thought of the world as order imposed by gods over a primordial chaos, often characterised as a waste of waters or a formless void. Most thought that if the gods were not correctly propitiated, the chaos would return; essentially, because it would not be worth the while of the gods to maintain order. This is the obvious default, when the orderly operation of the Universe cannot be otherwise explained.

    We see elements of this in the Bible myths, as in many others. Cultures in contact with one another swapped stories, and incorporated elements of another’s mythology into their own. None of this is in the least surprising.

    But instead of seeing the Genesis stories as typical of the many that were created and traded, these people see them as ur-legends, the progenitors of all myth. The fact that there are flood legends far older than the earliest credible date for Genesis doesn’t bother them at all, because Genesis was dictated by God to Moses, and it must be right, and literal. The fact that Genesis and the Torah make no such claim doesn’t bother them either, because Paul said that scripture was “breathed out” by God. The fact that even Paul never implied that it was to be read literally also doesn’t matter to them.

    But such a claim is ex-scriptural. It simply discards the “scriptura solus” base of their own creed, and actually claims prophetic revelation, but they don’t think about that, because they never think about the things they never think about. As Henry Drummond, the Darrow character in the fictionalised “Inherit the Wind” movie, asked: “Do you ever think about the things you do think about?” Superb line.

    I wish it were possible to describe their views as merely the product of ignorance. Or of ignorance compounded with prejudice. Alas, more is required than that. They are setting up an image of their own making and worshiping it, but the image is of themselves. Hubris? Idolatry? I must admit I can’t give arrogance on this scale a name.

  10. No worries. Amy McGrath is running against Mitch in Ky. Have to start somewhere.

  11. @SC: I don’t think anyone from the Roman elite in 8 CE was influenced by a shattered collection of texts that wasn’t even called the Bible yet or declared canonical. In

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flood_myth

    we can also read “In Plato’s Timaeus, written c. 360 BC, Timaeus describes a flood myth similar to the earlier versions. In it, the Bronze race of humans angers the high god Zeus with their constant warring. Zeus decides to punish humanity with a flood.”
    Sounds quite familiar. It is also unsurprising. Recent DNA research demonstrates that during Antiquity people travelled everywhere. It’s a mistake to think that cultures (whether Hebrew or Greek) were isolated. Of course it doesn’t follow that Troy and Bodie suddenly make sense, only that you picked the wrong example. What these two heroes of creacrap carefully omit is that mountain cultures never have flood myths.
    Also there is the Gilgamesh epos. Were the two clowns consistent (I know, it’s asked too much) they would conclude that their beloved Noah’s Ark story was the distorted one.

  12. @Dave Luckett, I’ve just noticed that the Darrow character in Inherit the Wind has the same name, Henry Drummond, as the thoroughly admirable Scottish theologian who around 1900 criticised the idea of God of the gaps and urged believers to embrace evolution as part of God’s creativity, in having created the universe that would keep on creating itself.

    Does anyone here know if this is coincidence, or a recondite allusion, or an insider joke that I’ve just cottoned on to?

  13. Probably coincidence. I don’t think Darrow had much time for God

  14. Dave Luckett wrote: “I’m sure everybody here knows the story: most ancient civilisations were riverine”

    Right. Just did a google search. You know who DOESN’T have a flood myth? The Chinchorro culture of the (high) Atacama Desert in the Andes………

    Wonder why that is?

  15. The question is whether the playwrights, not Darrow, had that intention. I don’t think they had much interest in creationism.

  16. Thank you for making me smile. Canned ham is funny.

  17. @Paul Braterman: I’ve wondered that too, and I suspect that it’s a deliberate allusion, but I haven’t seen any evidence.

  18. @Glenn Branch, I’ve just read re-read the last few pages of the play. You may well be right. And the foreword: “Some of the characters of the playing are related to the colourful figures in that battle of giants; but they have life and language of their own – and therefore names of their own.”

  19. Michael Fugate

    What one wonders is how a creation that God hubristically called good after every day while creating, turned bad so quickly. Genesis should be renamed triage; so many things go wrong God can’t react fast enough.