Look what we found in the Irish Sun, yet another UK tabloid. Their fascinating headline is Aliens ‘may be HUMANS’ as scientist argues UFOs are piloted by time-travellers from Earth. They have a comments feature, but we don’t see any yet. Here are some excerpts from the news story, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
ALIENS may already be walking among us… Because they’re actually humans. That’s the bonkers claim [bonkers?] made by one scientist, who argues that UFOs may be piloted by people from the future.
From the future? Egad! Then the tabloid says:
In thousands of years’ time, humanity will have access to all kinds of bonkers technology [“bonkers” again], argues Dr Michael Masters. The anthropologist, who plies his trade at Montana Technological University, believes time and space travel, for instance, will be commonplace. [Wowie, time travel will be commonplace!] It’s therefore entirely possible that humans will “visit” modern day Earth – visits which could explain previous accounts of UFO sightings and alien encounters.
This guy is real, dear reader. Here’s his faculty page at Montana Technological University: Michael P. Masters, Professor of Anthropology. If he says time travel is “entirely possible,” then you gotta believe it. After that we’re told:
“The phenomenon may be our own distant descendants coming back through time to study us in their own evolutionary past,” Dr Masters told KXLF.com in Montana, USA.
That’s the best way to study evolution — go back and watch it happen. Then no one can dispute you by asking “Were you there?” The tabloid continues:
Dr Masters specialises in human evolution, and says his theory is backed by decades of UFO sightings. [Solid evidence!] People who claim to have seen aliens often describe human-like features. The creatures are often said to communicate with us in our own languages, and possess technology advanced beyond, but clearly built upon, our own gadgetry.
Yes, the time travelers’ technology is “clearly” built upon our own. Let’s read on:
Dr Masters reckons this is evidence they are an advanced form of time-travelling human that he calls “extra-tempestrials”. [Clever name!] “The extra-tempestrial are ubiquitously reported as being bipedal, upright-walking, five fingers on each hand and foot,” he said. [Five fingers on each foot?] “They have two eyes, a mouth a nose, and they can communicate with us in our own languages,” he added.
You gotta admit, dear reader, this guy’s theory is built on solid evidence! Here’s another excerpt:
The scientist wrote about his bonkers theory [their third “bonkers”] last year in a book titled “identified flying objects”. He hopes his book gets scientists talking about the possibility that alien and UFO sightings may in fact be legitimate events involving extra-tempestrials.
Why not? Darwin’s book got everyone talking about evolution, so this guy’s book may do the same for his theory. We looked for the thing at Amazon, and here it is. Only $22.95 in paperback! The publisher is something called Masters Creative LLC, but we can’t find any information about them. That’s very strange.
Here’s one last excerpt:
The creatures’ humanoid form and advanced technology is the result of sustained human evolution here on Earth, long into the distant future. But the scientist admitted that even he wasn’t sure his bonkers theory [bonkers #4] was correct. “I continue to remain vigilant in my own scepticism. I do not have a staunch unwavering devotion to this notion, and I do not claim to proclaim a truth,” he said.
Well, if he isn’t convinced, we don’t know what to believe. How about you, dear reader? Do you think this is where evolution is taking us?
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